Mind, Body, Soul: How Therapy Strengthened My Faith Journey

Mental health awareness becomes a gateway to deeper relationships with God, others, and ourselves when we approach it with honesty and the right resources.

• Recognizing when you need outside help doesn't mean you're broken
• Therapy provides insight and vocabulary for feelings we struggle to articulate
• Understanding the difference between self-care and self-maintenance is crucial for emotional wellbeing
• True self-awareness helps identify unhealthy patterns like passive-aggressiveness and avoidance
• A therapist with shared values can strengthen rather than replace faith
• Learning to process feedback without taking it personally transforms all relationships
• Creating a support system with various trusted advisors provides different perspectives
• Prayer and therapy work together—sometimes miracles happen immediately, sometimes over time

If you're feeling called to explore therapy, please reach out in the comments. We're happy to pray with you or recommend our therapist who is always taking new clients.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introducing Mental Health Conversation
• 3:39 My Journey to Therapy
• 10:32 Breaking Misconceptions About Therapy
• 19:15 Self-Care vs. Self-Maintenance
• 24:01 Mental Health Indicators
• 30:17 Building a Support System
• 36:09 Christian Therapy Experience

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

What's up let's Dig crew. Thank you for joining this conversation. It is going to be a little deep, but we are talking about mental health today. We're talking about how it has impacted my life, how it's changed my life and it's actually helped me draw a closer relationship with the Lord. So we're going to get into all that how I knew to get into therapy, how I found the person and what it did for my life. It's going to be a good conversation today.

Speaker 2: 0:26

Yeah, yeah. And also, before we jump into it, I want to say welcome to all of the new viewers, new subscribers, welcome to let's Dig Crew. We are here to help you grow a deep relationship with God, others and yourself, and so if you're looking forward to this conversation, go ahead and hit that little thumbs up button right now, matter of fact, if you even mind, and hit that subscribe. If you're new to the channel and we haven't heard from you, send us a little comment, a little message. We'd love to hear from you If you're listening to this on Apple or on Spotify, all the other fun places like write us a little review if you wouldn't mind, and we'd love to hear from you. But the reason why we do that right, because the algorithm right, it pushes it through and it lets other people know that they want to talk about this conversation too. So mental health is really big. Mental health awareness is very important too.

Speaker 2: 1:08

I think people most often neglect their mental health because it's something that's on the inside and you think you can deal with it just by yourself. So true, but I want to talk about how it affected you, how it affected me, how it affected even your relationship with God, your relationship with the children, with your coworkers, with your leaders, things like that. But I'm ready, man, let's talk about it. All right, let's dig.

Speaker 1: 1:30

So some of you may know our story. We went to therapy at year 10 of our marriage and we did about a year with this therapist and after that happened I had taken on a role at our church. I was a children's director for a year and a half and I think it was a lot of the after effects of what we had gone through in our marriage and then getting put into a completely new career. Everything was new for me. I'd never worked at a church like that, Never been a children's director. I was a hairstylist for 10 years, so this was a completely new career change and I think all of that um really made me question a lot of things, including after doing some of our digging in our marriage. It really made me question my identity, um, my personality type. I felt like I didn't know myself because a lot of our marriage I had found my identity in you. So take that away. Now we're getting to a healthier place.

Speaker 1: 2:31

But I didn't have answers for a lot of the questions I had about myself and that was one of the things that really made me feel like, okay, wait, maybe I should do this, Like now that we've done it for our marriage and we're in a better place.

Speaker 1: 2:45

Maybe I should actually just do this for myself. I didn't have, um, any of those people in my life like as a mentor, someone in close proximity where they could kind of walk me along, that Sometimes there are those people in your life, uh, that are just blessings from God. Maybe it's a church leader, Maybe it's an older person in your life that feels like a mother or a father figure, and sometimes they have enough wisdom where they can walk you through those things. But sometimes it's literally a therapist who has a skillset, who has an education, who has all these resources that we don't have, naturally, that you can benefit from if you sit in their seat. But I think a lot of people get stuck on the part of like getting to that seat. They cannot make that decision to say, okay, I actually do need outside help.

Speaker 1: 3:35

I do need to pay for someone to help me.

Speaker 2: 3:38

Did you feel like you cause? It's a big misconception, I think, for a lot of people who are looking into getting healthier Mentally speaking. Did you feel like you were broken in order to go to like therapy? Or was it a place as like you were proud to go to therapy? Or were you embarrassed to go, because I think there's people like people that are like embarrassed to go because they feel like they're broken Right, they hit rock bottom in order to go to therapy? Or were you in a place where you're like no, I just need a few little you know verbiage, like things like that.

Speaker 1: 4:12

No, there was definitely more brokenness to it Feeling a little lost, feeling like I don't know much about myself, feeling like I couldn't get myself over the hump. I didn't feel depression, anxiety, like those things that I feel like often are attributed to like, oh, I need therapy because my depression is out of control. I didn't have those big symptoms or things and some people do and that's like their flags. Right To know I need to go to therapy. For me, it was just this like I have to figure some things out about myself, about my personality, about how to process information, how to do better for myself as a grown woman and as an adult. Um, I won't always have someone holding my hand, so I needed to learn some skills. I needed someone to help think through processes with me. I'm an outward processor, so I knew the model of talking to someone about what I was like struggling with would be really helpful for me.

Speaker 2: 5:12

Yeah, I can't remember. But like, were you open about being in therapy, like while you were in it, like with your friends, your peers, your family, like I can't remember.

Speaker 1: 5:20

I don't think I really hit it. I think I was. I was. I felt free to finally say I made that decision of like, yeah, I'm getting therapy and it's not for me and him, we're good, it's now, it's for me. Help me figure these things out.

Speaker 2: 5:34

Yeah, I think people get scared too because, like our brains, did not come with, you know, user manuals.

Speaker 1: 5:42

Right.

Speaker 2: 5:43

Yeah, we didn't come with like a little pamphlet on how to understand your brain? Yeah, and like, I think people even grab a gravitate towards like what the world might put on them. Right, you like you watch a Tik TOK video that says you might be autistic if you do this. Or you might be, or you may have ADHD if you say this.

Speaker 1: 6:07

There's so many of those that are mine.

Speaker 2: 6:09

Yeah, or the inside of your car looks like this, it's like, and people say, oh my gosh, I have ADHD.

Speaker 1: 6:15

It's so true.

Speaker 1: 6:16

I found videos where they tell me I'm on the spectrum because of, just like the texture things that I have, or um, isms that I have, like and, and yes, those can be qualifying, those can be characteristics of people who have those things. But just because you relate to a video on Tik TOK does not mean that you are automatically in that category. Um, but I do think that therapy really helped me see certain blind spots that maybe I couldn't filter or I couldn't see. It's so much harder to see something when you're in it, as opposed to someone sitting on the outside prospectively looking at you and saying, well, that kind of looks like this and that kind of looks like that. For instance, one of the things that my therapist helped me realize, there was that season I was in a role. This was later towards the end of the things that my therapist helped me realize. Um, there was that season I was in a role. This was later, towards the end of the role.

Speaker 1: 7:09

I was really struggling and I wasn't really happy, but I knew I was supposed to be in that, in that position, and I kept telling him like I just feel like our lives never stop, feel like nothing ever slows down. And I told him. I was like but I do self-care. I go to the gym, I get my nails done, I get my hair done, I take care of myself every day. And I was like but I still just feel so emptied out, like drained.

Speaker 1: 7:37

And he was like well, those don't really sound like self-care, danny Lee. Those sound like maintenance, like that you maintain your body, that you maintain your nails, that you maintain your hair. Those, those aren't really self-care. He was like and those are also all things that you do by yourself. And I was like yeah, he was like but are you an introvert or an extrovert? And I was like, oh, I'm an extrovert. He was like Danny Lee, you just listed things that you have to do by yourself at the gym nails, all that stuff. He's like those are all solo activities.

Speaker 1: 8:11

He was like but you know that you actually get filled up when you're around other people. And I was like, oh, I never put the connection together that I was looking for what the world says of like, oh, do self-care, take time by yourself. But actually what feeds me is being around someone, that we laugh together, we have fun together, we're being silly, like I was working with a friend the other day for a church project. We were together for seven or eight hours and we laughed the entire time. That filled my tank. But in that season I was pulling away from people, I was not going out to eat as much, I wasn't going to do those things because I was drained. So it was like I was looking for something to fill my tank and fill me with joy in different ways than what actually works for my personality type.

Speaker 2: 8:59

And.

Speaker 1: 8:59

I know those things.

Speaker 2: 9:00

But, again.

Speaker 1: 9:00

It goes to like someone sitting on the outside. He was able to see that so much more easily than I could when I'm in the middle of it.

Speaker 2: 9:08

Yeah, I almost feel like we need to list off some indicators that may help someone know whether they're unaware of their health level for like, like, their, like, their mental state meaning.

Speaker 2: 9:26

So, for example, we all, we're all mind, body, we're soul, right right, there's the things that happen in our mind. There are the mental wars that happen. Yeah right, there are the stuff that we do that we talk ourselves into. There's stuff that we do that we talk ourselves out of doing. Right, I think I say this all the time in leadership, the hardest person to lead in leadership, the hardest person to lead is yourself. The hardest person to lead is yourself. Why? Because you're lying to yourself in your head, like that. That's mental health awareness.

Speaker 2: 9:55

I think people are, and even us, like, as all of us, right, we struggle with like, like, recalibratingating, like the meters in our head on, like it's like a dashboard, if there's any lights, indicators that like, what are we ignoring? Like, for example, passive aggressiveness? Yeah right, passive aggressiveness is an indicator that like, like, like, your mental state isn't strong, because you're basically saying the thing about passive, aggressive type of communicators is basically saying screw you, screw me, right, I'm a lot of you, I'm a lot of myself. Great, we're doing great. Right, you know it's passive, aggressive, so you're really bearing what's on the inside and you're demonstrating or displaying to other people that you're one way, and it's like both party loses.

Speaker 2: 10:42

And I think I think some people aren't even aware, right, as we're talking about mental health, right, some people aren't even aware that by the end of the day, they're drained or by the end of the day, they feel like they hate themselves or life sucks. But it's actually things you were doing in your head, internally, like what I'm saying. Yeah, that's making you unhealthy. Yeah, like what I'm saying. Yeah, like what are some things that you would say is an indicator that you're actually not healthy mentally?

Speaker 1: 11:10

I mean, one of them was like me, literally saying I didn't want to go out with people and hang out with people because that is something that I would naturally love fill my tank. I'm down for hanging out with people, it's so much fun, but in that season I was so drained. I was like dude. I just want to go home and be in my pajamas.

Speaker 1: 11:28

I just want to go at home and hide out in my house with my family and realizing, looking back of like, yeah, that's not my personality at all and that was a sign that I was unhealthy for sure yeah I think crazy I think, um, in these seasons when you don't know whether you're healthy or not, um, having people it's what we always talk about, of relationships, having people in your life that you could trust to help you see them differently, Even if it's just a person to say yeah, that's not like you were, are you okay? That's not how you normally would do it or behave or respond even like hey, you responded kind of crazy. Are you kind of popped off Like are you okay?

Speaker 1: 12:14

Um, yeah, so having those people in your life to help show those moments and make you it's what you're saying of like on the meter. It's not making sense when someone on the outside that you trust and that is good and healthy can be like hey, that was a little different, it can help you see those signs a little bit more quickly.

Speaker 2: 12:32

Yeah, so gaining more awareness of where we are mentally speaking is if you have no one in your life that you trust, like you don't trust anybody. You're skeptic of everybody. You think everybody's out to get you. Like you think no one's like for your best interests. You don't trust anybody. That's an indicator that you may not be healthy mentally.

Speaker 1: 12:54

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 12:54

Right, because it's like you can't sleep at night or um, or you're always on edge, right, or you think everybody's lying to you, like. You know what I'm saying and I would, I would suggest anybody that's feeling those type of things go see a therapist. Right, have somebody walk with you, obviously, always pray about it, especially if you're a Christian and you're a believer. For all those that are out there that are Christians and believers that are struggling with the thought of just saying, like, I don't need to speak with a psychologist, I don't need to speak with a shrink, I don't need to speak with a therapist, I'm just going to speak to the Lord. I'm need to speak with like with a therapist. I'm just going to speak to the Lord, I'm going to speak with like, like with the Holy Spirit. Yes, that is so true.

Speaker 2: 13:30

But the Bible also says in second Corinthians, to take captive all your thoughts, negative thoughts, and make it obey to Christ. Yeah, right, so to take those thoughts captive. Sometimes you need help. Yeah, sometimes you need guidance, sometimes you need counsel. Right, you need like. For example, for like for me, I have a group of leaders, people that I go to when I have ideas and thoughts. Right, you know, I was reading this book the other day and it's called Re-Leader. Basically, it's like how to fix something that you didn't make or you didn't break, and it was saying like so one of the first indicators you do is you create a quote, unquote let's say a board of directors. Right, so you know, in a corporate world you'd say board of directors, let's say in your life, like you would say, some trusted friends, right, some people, like some people that are seasoned, right, some people that might be young, fresh Gen Z, fresh eyes, people that you trust, like, like what I'm saying. So get the right people. So you need to have all the right people around you.

Speaker 2: 14:26

And I'm going to say this you need to have all the right people around you. And I'm going to say this All of us we have, like this ecosystem. It's like or ecosystem, or like an orbit system, like people that are surrounding us. Right, you should have a pastor. Right, you should have a mentor. Right, is that orbit around you? You should have a therapist. Right, you should have a trusted close friend. Right, like you should have business partners, like what I'm saying.

Speaker 2: 14:53

And I think people struggle because their lives are only filled with one side or they don't have all the other things. If you look at an athlete, right, athlete has a therapist, a personal trainer, a doctor, a coach, an offensive coach, a defensive coach. They have a chaplain. Right, they have a friend. They have all these things around them to keep them centered, like what I'm saying. So I really do think that seeking counseling or therapy is healthy for anybody. It's someone else, a third party, someone that can look at you and help you break down your isms, the things that are in your mind or how you see things or how you think of things, or even sometimes could even help you with verbiage.

Speaker 1: 15:36

Yeah for sure. I mean it really helped me get a better grasp on what I was feeling, what I was struggling with. He helped me put words to things that I was feeling. So when I would say like I just feel like our lives never stop, he was like okay, so that makes it sound like maybe you're not feeling relief at all. You're carrying a weight all the time, you're feeling stressed all the time. I'm like, yeah, kind of like all I want to do is go on vacation, and he's like aha, kind of like all I want to do is go on vacation, and he's like aha, because you're constantly feeling that weight and that burden. So let's look at that. What do you really?

Speaker 1: 16:16

And he would help me pinpoint, like, what are you actually feeling? Because you know we do this thing as humans, we, when we carry stress, we just have a list of like seven things you do this to me a lot actually where you're like well, you don't have to worry about number three and number two and seven are actually the same thing. So let's, now you're down to five, but like when we're feeling that anxiety and stress, it's just all of the above, it's all these things. So he would be really helpful. My therapist would be really helpful in saying like, hey, let's, let's go down to ground zero on that, literally like let's dig down to that and find the root of what you're actually feeling, which was super, super helpful.

Speaker 1: 16:55

I I really learned so much about my self-awareness, um, in that what are my personality types and what are they, um, like projecting out into my other relationships.

Speaker 1: 17:08

Like, for instance, he gave me the book Jesus plus nothing equals everything, and he gave that actually during our marriage therapy it was before that, but it really really helped me be more self-aware of how I perceive my relationship with Jesus Christ and how I actually am a rule follower to the core and sometimes in my walk with the Lord, I've become just a rule follower and thinking that if I follow his rules, he will love me, if I follow his rules, he will bless me, if I follow his rules he will do all the things he said he would.

Speaker 1: 17:47

And it was really so helpful and honestly freeing to realize, like I don't have to earn anything from Jesus. Like I have asked for forgiveness, I have welcomed him into my life. Do I strive for those things, of course, but if I fall short, that does not mean he loves me less If I fall short. It does not mean he takes his grace from me. Um, if I don't read and pray and spend five hours of alone time with the Lord every single day, uh, that doesn't mean I don't love him or he loves me less.

Speaker 1: 18:24

So that was like so enlightening and very freeing Again it was very freeing of like that restraint I was feeling or that unhealthy earning from him.

Speaker 2: 18:37

It sounds like I mean most of us and what you're dealing with, but most of us we deal with security in our identity. Yeah for sure in our identity? Yeah, for sure. We all deal with having confidence in who we are, and who we are versus who we're becoming.

Speaker 1: 18:54

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 18:55

And I want to clarify the difference. I think a lot of us deal with that.

Speaker 2: 18:59

It's who we are and who we're becoming, and some of us we want to jump the gun and live the life of who we want to be and or who we're working towards being being neglecting of who we are right now yeah it's very true, and so, just sitting in what you are right now, versus, like, you just want to be there, you just want to be on the other side and he would really always tell us, like it's okay to not be okay right now yeah, we don't want to stay there, but like if today you're not okay, that is okay yeah, that's real we won't stay there.

Speaker 1: 19:28

We We'll do something. Whether it's praying, whether it's that self-care stuff that actually fills your tank, whether it is reading a different book, like whatever that looks like, we're going to find a solution to start the process to being okay. But, if you're not okay today, that is okay.

Speaker 2: 19:46

Yeah, I think that's big too, man. So people ask me, so I'll well let me say it like this when I meet new people or I come across someone that I haven't seen in a while, I'm very intentional if I want to ask if they're good, versus like hey, how are you Right, because you see what I mean. Like, when you say something like if you're good, it almost has to force them into answering it yes, I'm good.

Speaker 1: 20:14

So, like even when we pick up our Like a suggested question?

Speaker 2: 20:16

Yes, yes, we're not really wanting to know if they're bad, right, so we automatically ask questions like hey, you good?

Speaker 1: 20:23

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 20:23

Hey, all good, everything good Right. Good, everything good right. And then we just say, yeah, we just say it. So it's actually the same thing, like psychologically speaking. It's the same thing with parenting. So when you pick up your kids from school, so I typically don't ask our kids did you have a good day? They want to, they don't want ever, like, let us down. So by nature you can say, yeah, it was good right. But then we ask, well, what was good about it, right? So I always ask that.

Speaker 2: 20:45

So if I accidentally ask, did you have a good day? And they say it was good, I'll say what was good about it, right? So I always ask that. So if I accidentally asked, did you have a good day? And they say it was good, I'll say what was good about it, and they'll have a hard time thinking of what was actually good. They could only think of what was bad.

Speaker 1: 20:54

But we do that as adults.

Speaker 2: 20:58

So if you ask someone, hey, you good to say you're good, stop and say what was good, or like what you're like, what are you actually doing good in. Some people say, well, I actually don't know, it's just something that we say. That to me is a lack of awareness in your mental state. That's what I'm saying of like being able to stop and actually say why are things good. And so even now, like if I ask someone, say, hey, how are you? I genuinely I'm asking how are you?

Speaker 2: 21:27

But I think in this world that we live in, like we've been just conditioned to just bury it, to just not talk about it, Almost like people don't really care. And I'll be honest, I'll be the first like to admit, there's times if I feel like in a moment I don't care. I'm being specific, in the moment I don't care because my mind is somewhere else. I do care, but it's like I generally want to ask later. So even like I'm not a small talker. So if somebody texts me and they're trying to small talk, it drives me crazy. I'm like what do you want? Just go straight to it and then, once you get what you need, then on the back end ask like everything good.

Speaker 1: 22:06

Or like, how are things going? I'm the entire opposite of that. Like when I reach out to someone like, hey, how are you? You doing good Like I. I would always tell you like I don't understand how people start conversation without saying, hi, how are you?

Speaker 2: 22:21

Yeah. So now I've I've been very intentional of, like, if somebody said, hey, things good, everything All right, everything good, like I'm. First of all, I'm not going to lie. And some people I think most of us don't intentionally want to lie. We're not trying to lie and say everything's good. We just actually bury our problems or we're in denial of our situations, or how about this? We're unaware. We're unaware, like we're unaware that we're actually not even telling the truth. So I want to encourage people like get to that point. Like if someone say, hey, how are things going, you can say like things are all right, or maybe they're going, or like, oh, I'm still trying to figure it out. Or like some things are, because I don't ever want to bury my issues to where I can't even really acknowledge them. It's true, like what I'm saying. And then the second thing is I think people really need to, we need to work harder at stopping at the end of the day and debriefing, like processing your, your situations throughout the day, meaning right.

Speaker 2: 23:27

People go to bed slammed from the day you got hit. By the day You're done, You're just crashed. You crash. You go into the next day 're still feeling heavy, You're still feeling burdened because everything from yesterday rolled over into the next day. You didn't stop to actually put thought into how that person disrespected you. That day you had a situation that we're currently talking about of just like I've always been taught. You teach people how to treat you. So if someone does something to me and I can't handle it, in that day, before the day ends, I'm going to gather all my thoughts together and think about why did that bother me?

Speaker 1: 23:51

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 23:52

What did it do to me? Why am I so hurt by it? Right Versus being like forget them, that's not healthy, like what I'm saying. Most of us do that. And then we wake up the next day grumpy, trying to figure out why am I grumpy?

Speaker 2: 24:09

Yeah, because that and then we wake up the next day grumpy, trying to figure out. Why am I grumpy? Yeah, because, like somebody disrespect you, or someone did something or something happened like I'm saying, yeah, that's, that's in my opinion. This is, in my opinion, like this is raising more awareness for someone to really look into their mental state.

Speaker 1: 24:19

Yeah, and I think people need to go to therapy more yeah, I I will say, having which we've talked about how we found him, which is very random. Somebody sent us this therapist link. He is a Christian therapist we always want to emphasize if you are a believer and you are looking into therapy, please do not allow anyone to speak into your life that does not hold your same values and follows the word of God. If you choose to live your life that way, please don't allow other people to speak into it.

Speaker 2: 24:50

And let me say that, on top of that, I would suggest Christian therapists to everyone, like even if you're not a Christian. I'm going to tell you this right now. This is just our story, this is our, this is, I mean, our situation, man, we believe in God, we believe in Jesus and there's only one spirit that we want speaking into our lives and it's the Holy Spirit.

Speaker 2: 25:09

And if someone is a Christian, like there's a lot of dark things out there, man, there are a lot of people that are going to palm readers and all these other magicians and medians and all these other people that are out there that are tapping into demonic realms and like someone can tell you about your past but they can't tell you about your future. Like you know what I'm saying, that's the difference from a demon and the spirit of God. Like you know, if you ever go to, you know like someone goes to a palm reader or someone that's doing these cards right, and they're telling you about your past.

Speaker 2: 25:44

You had a, you had a, you had a yeah, because there's a demon behind that right that is, reading into your past and seeing things that happen already, and that's a difference from from those that are actually led by the holy spirit. Yeah, because the holy spirit is prophetic and talks about the future and what's to come. Yeah, that's a clear difference. But I would suggest anybody, like, if you're going to therapy, like you know, really vet them out and figure out, like, first of all, are they educated, are they a believer, like? And if they're believing, what are they believing?

Speaker 2: 26:14

Because people say they're a believer and you realize that other religions say that I'm a believer too, like wait, hold on.

Speaker 1: 26:23

And I said or maybe they said that she's a therapist. I think she believes. And I was like, okay, if you feel safe with her, that's fine, but watch her words, Make sure she doesn't try to direct you in a different way, make sure she doesn't try to lean you one way or another. And eventually that person was like, yeah, I don't think this is the person they're kind of going off this way and I was like, aha, so at least you're mature enough to catch it. But knowing, um, that that person, you're giving them so much right and space in your life that you want to be wise with that decision. And if you make a wrong choice and you go to someone who doesn't have the same values, you could disrail your whole entire life for a long time and take a long time to get back to that. So we just always encourage people. If you're doing that, please, please, make sure they are Bible-based and that they are a believer in Jesus and that they will give you wise counsel.

Speaker 1: 27:19

Another thing that I wanted to share, too, was like therapy never replaced my faith. It really really only strengthened it in the sense of learning about myself and how God created me learning parts of my personality. I remember one of the things that was really hard in that season was I was getting really frustrated with my pastor, who was my boss, because he would say things that would hurt my feelings about my work. And in therapy is actually where I learned that I'm so sensitive I didn't know how to separate the two things of he was my boss. My pastor was giving me feedback on my work, but to me it felt like you were giving me feedback about me.

Speaker 2: 28:09

My personal life.

Speaker 1: 28:10

My personal work ethic and I would just be so frustrated and so upset, like how could you say that I put everything into it? And my therapist is actually the one who helped me filter those thoughts of like wait, but he didn't say anything about you, he just said that that work wasn't as up to par as it needed to be, but you could do better. And like that was a person who really helped me hear feedback differently, and that is something that every human being and adult needs to learn how to do, which has been hard for me, to be honest with you, to hear feedback, but I've gotten much better because of my therapy sessions.

Speaker 2: 28:45

Yeah, therapy also. I'm going to say I noticed what it did to you. Therapy taught you to keep your mouth shut until you have your words together.

Speaker 1: 28:56

True, yes, like there were times where I would explode. Therapy taught me that I exploded because I was feeling embarrassed.

Speaker 1: 29:04

Therapy taught me that I exploded because I was feeling embarrassed. Embarrassed, therapy taught me that when I'm frustrated I walk away, like when I'm angry or irritated or I don't have words that I actually try to avoid and I walk away. And therapy has taught me to verbalize. Hey, I actually need a few minutes to put my thoughts together, because I know what I'm feeling but I don't know how to describe it or how to clarify it. Um so and that has been huge in not just our marriage, in other relationships, in my work relationships, in my friendships, in my family relationships. It's helped me so much and so I'm really, really grateful for, uh, the gift of therapy, honestly, the fact that we can find therapists that are believers, that are Bible-based, that know how to give us wise counsel.

Speaker 1: 29:54

I found this scripture that I loved so much. It is let me make sure I get the right one. Proverbs 20, verse five the purposes of a person's heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out. First of all, I'd never heard that scripture before. I've probably read it in a different version, but the way that that was phrased of, like man, but the one who has wisdom can draw them out. That is what our therapist, my therapist, did for me. He had wisdom that I didn't have. He had a seat to see things in a different point of view and he drew out those things and helped me. And helped me grow deeper relationship with my father and to like God not my father, not my earthly father, your dad.

Speaker 2: 30:42

You call your your like your dad, father.

Speaker 1: 30:45

No, with my heavenly father, but I should have said heavenly father first. But he caused me and helped me to grow a deeper relationship with my heavenly father. And I'll say it again Like self-awareness is not selfish, yeah, it's maturity. It is literally the key to helping you grow healthy relationships all around you.

Speaker 2: 31:08

Yeah, man, ultimately I said it earlier If you can't lead yourself, you can't lead others. So, whether you are a parent, if you're a spouse, if you're dating, if you're a leader, doesn't matter what it is like. Really tap into just where you are mentally. Figure that out. Figure that out. Figure out why you explosive. Figure out why you are um, you have a hard time collaborating. Figure out why you know how you communicate, you are, or why you communicate the way you do.

Speaker 2: 31:36

Figure out why you may be passive, aggressive, um, those type of things really affects all relationships, and sometimes you can't get to the conclusion by yourself. You just can't. You need help. You may need counseling, you may need therapy. You may need somebody else that is trained in the study of the brain, of the mind, and that can tell you, psychologically speaking, these isms. Here's why you do that and here's what happens to cause and effect if you do these type of things. And so, for me, I'm grateful I got a chance to see you go through therapy, which is cool to see. I haven't gone through it yet. I plan on it. Actually, I've been talking about it in this new season that I actually do need a therapist, because there's a lot of things that I need to unpack mentally, that are happening, that I can't talk about it with you yet, or sometimes I don't have words to explain it and I'm sitting on some thoughts for too long.

Speaker 1: 32:25

And.

Speaker 2: 32:25

I need someone that is psychologically strong and mature and educated, that can help me, that can point me in the right directions, to help me understand why my brain is wired the way it's wired, because our brain is like a processor right, it's a processor.

Speaker 2: 32:42

It's like when you buy a new computer, like you buy a new phone, there's certain things about it you don't understand, and so when you pull out the manual or you figure out, okay, this is how it operates, this is how it processes information.

Speaker 2: 32:53

And so, for me, I'm in a season where I'm being stretched and I'm growing right now, and there's a lot of thoughts in my head about a lot of things, about here and now or in the future and where we're going, and so I need help, like you know, psychologically speaking, to help me unpack my thoughts, and so I suggest counseling for everybody. Man, I hope, I hope this conversation really blessed you guys. I want to say this right now If this conversation really blessed you, yeah, if you wouldn't mind, hit that like button, share this with somebody, but we want to connect with y'all, like if there's a way that we can pray for you guys, if you're unaware of where you are, like mentally, like we're not professionals. This is not professional opinion. This is just personal opinion, just where we are in our lives and we're just sharing about the fruits.

Speaker 1: 33:37

But it's really helped us grow our relationship with God, with ourselves and with all the people around us, and therapy has been a game changer and we'll forever be grateful for different people because of it, and really quickly, you said something that I don't want to miss, and that is that all of what we're talking about goes together with prayer and that it's not just prayer that can only change, you know, depression, anxiety. It can, it will, it makes a difference. But these two things, prayer and therapy, are gifts from God that can help us heal. And, you know, even in the Bible, some people got their miracle immediately and some people got their miracle over time.

Speaker 1: 34:22

And so for those of us who do not receive the miracle of healing spiritually, emotionally, immediately, there are therapists that walk us through that and while that's happening, we are in prayer about it. So I just wanted to like reiterate the power of prayer and the power of therapy together, because we don't put our hope in therapy, we put our hope in Jesus and through those things he's given us, these gifts that help us be better people.

Speaker 1: 34:47

That's good All right, that's all we got for today. We hope this encouraged you. We hope this causes you to put in perspective and look kind of self-aware, and where you are and what you need. And if you need help or if you need prayer, please drop it in those comments. We want to pray with you. We can also send you referrals. If you need some of that, we can send you our therapist as well. He's always taking new clients and we're super grateful for him. So if you'd like his information, drop us a comment. We'll send it to you as well. But y'all keep digging we love you.