Becoming Before Finding: God's Marriage Prep Plan

Marriage requires not just finding the right person, but becoming the right person by drawing closer to God and developing the character He desires in us.

• God teaches you to seek Him first before seeking a spouse
• Your future spouse doesn't complete you—only God completes you
• God builds your character through developing the fruits of the Spirit
• Self-control is particularly crucial in both dating and marriage
• Healing from past wounds prevents bringing baggage into marriage
• Submission means serving each other, not just following orders
• Many people meet their spouse while serving at church
• Spiritual alignment happens when both partners pursue God individually
• Focus on your own growth rather than trying to fix your potential spouse
• God isn't withholding a spouse—He's preparing you to be one

If you loved this conversation, hit that like button, subscribe, and share it with someone who's in a dating relationship or waiting for their future spouse. Drop a comment letting us know which fruit of the Spirit God is working on in your life right now.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Marriage Preparation
• 0:48 Seeking God First
• 2:47 Building Your Character
• 5:44 Healing Your Wounds
• 7:27 Learning Submission Through Service
• 9:41 Spiritual Alignment and God's Timing

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey everyone, today we're digging into a real one how God prepares you for marriage. Marriage is just not about finding the right one, but it's also about becoming the right one, becoming exactly who God has created you to be. So we're going to dig into that. We can keep it short, sweet and straight to the point, maybe under even 10 minutes. That'd be great. So welcome to let's Dig the Podcast. We are here to help you grow deeper relationship with God, others and yourself.

Speaker 2: 0:26

And if you know someone who's dating or maybe you're dating, maybe you are waiting for that spouse, for God to send them into your life hit the share button, Send it to someone. Maybe you're in that relationship and you're dating someone already praying that they are the one. Send this to them so that they can join this conversation with you and with us. So if you're ready, let's dig.

Speaker 1: 0:48

All right. Number one God teaches you how to seek him first. The Bible says in Matthew, chapter six. It says to seek God's kingdom and his righteousness, and everything else will be added. A lot of us are worried about everything. We're worried about who we're going to marry. We're worried about where we're going to live. We're worried about what kind of work we're going to have. We're worried about the job that we're in. We're worried about our friends, every situation. We're worried about how life is going to be after we retire. But God is actually saying don't even worry about those things. Tomorrow is not even promised. Actually, what you should be worrying about is worry about yourself.

Speaker 2: 1:20

Well, worry about yourself and your relationship with God.

Speaker 1: 1:23

He tells us to seek God first and his kingdom and everything else will be added. And I think that's so important because in marriage it's so important to know that when you face hardship and troubles, you need to understand that you can't run to your resources all the time. You need to build that muscle to run to God. Seek God.

Speaker 2: 1:41

Yeah, I like to that. Like you're not looking for completion in a spouse, you are complete in God. Your spouse does not make you complete, God completes you. I always tell girls when I'm talking to them about relationships. I tell them this math equation, right they? There's a saying that says that God is a God of multiplication. So one times one equals one. That is marriage, that is covenant. That is how he designed it to be. But if you are entering into a relationship for marriage and you are less than a whole person, you throw the whole equation off. One times zero is zero. You mess up the unity and what God has called the covenant to be. So you need two whole people to equal one in union, in a covenant with God.

Speaker 1: 2:25

That's so good. So before God brings you someone, he brings you to him. He brings you to the one, the one that actually completes you. If you need a man to feel completed, if you need a girl to feel completed, you'll never find one. And when you do find one, you'll never feel completed, because no man, no woman can actually complete you Not at all. Only God can. So number one is God teaches us how to seek him first. What's number?

Speaker 2: 2:47

two. Number two is God builds your character, and when we think about character, we think about the attributes of a person, who they are in the room, when they're in a position, when they're in a situation, who are they? Are they kind, are they loving? So we think about the fruits of the spirit. Are they patient? That's a big one for marriage. Are you, do you have self-control? That's a huge one for relationships of dating. Who you are? Can you control yourself and your flesh? Can you control your anger? So I love that, in this relationship and in this point of God drawing you to him, he's building your character, he's putting you in positions that will build that patience, kindness, goodness, all the fruits of the spirit.

Speaker 1: 3:30

Yeah, cause the truth is, marriage will test you. So God is trying to grow you All right. Galatians five we're talking about that the fruits of the spirit. So when you were in God, he gives you his spirit and the fruits of the spirits begin to produce in us. So the character is not just about what's happening on the outside.

Speaker 1: 3:46

I know ladies, I know fellows right, we're all talking about hitting the gym, trying to look right. Especially here in Southern California, you're getting all types of treatments on your face, trying to look all good, trying to look all tight, all right and tight on the outside. But honestly, the outside is not what's going to keep you in a marriage, it's what's on the inside. So God actually wants to do a good work on the inside. So, galatians, chapter five, right, verse 22,. He starts talking about. He puts love in you, joy in you, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control. I always highlight on that self-control moment because right now for us it's so easy to like spaz on someone, it's so easy to have no patience with somebody, and so God is building us from the inside out. That's the second thing that God does as he prepares you for marriage.

Speaker 2: 4:32

Crazy. Huh, it is super crazy.

Speaker 1: 4:34

Before we say number three, I want to take a moment right now. If you already feel like this conversation or this topic right now is already blessing you, if you wouldn't mind, hit that like button. It blesses us, it tells the algorithm that this is a good conversation, send it to someone. If you're new to the page right now, if you wouldn't mind, just subscribing. Subscribing costs us nothing and I'm telling you every single conversation that we have. I can guarantee you right now it will bring value to your life. So hit that like button, hit that subscribe and send this to someone right now.

Speaker 2: 5:04

And you can jump in the comments and tell us which fruit of the spirit that God's been working in your life right now. Maybe something that is hard for you is to actually be patient. Maybe something for you is hard to be using self-control and that really you want to eat that food out of emotionalism, or maybe you want to make that decision. That's actually not healthy. Share with us what you're walking through. I know for us there are a lot of things that there's just seasons where I'm like man God is really testing and growing my patience. Man God really is testing and growing my gentleness and how I respond to people. So drop in the comments what fruit of the spirit God is working in you right now.

Speaker 1: 5:44

Let's go All right. Number three is he heals your wounds. The Bible says in Psalms 147, it says he heals the brokenhearted. Listen, you cannot step into covenant still carrying your chains, baggage skeletons in the closet. It's the worst thing that you can do to get into a marriage, to get into a relationship, knowing that you got a bunch of stuff from your past that will come out. Listen, you cannot go into the future until you let go of your past. So one of the biggest things that you have to do when you're preparing for marriage, if you're dating somebody, learn how to get into that space where you find healing and forgiveness from God. He will heal your wounds so that when it's time for you to open up to your significant other and share about your past, it's not baggage anymore. It's not a bunch of luggage Like don't go into your marriage with a bunch of suitcases of bones Like. You know what I'm saying. So God can heal you. You cannot step into covenant if you do not let go of those chains. That's really big.

Speaker 2: 6:41

I can't. I can't tell you how many women I've spoken with of they're saying you know, oh, if he doesn't answer my text message all of a sudden, I think he's cheating. If he doesn't answer my phone call right away, I think he's cheating. And that is trauma, that is unhealed hurt that the Lord has not. You've not given it to him all the way to be completely whole and healthy so that you can go into a marriage. And if you're walking into it like that already, red flags, red flags. So lay that at the feet of Jesus and allow him to heal you from that.

Speaker 1: 7:08

That's big. So let God heal you from your past, so that your future is not ruled by it.

Speaker 2: 7:14

Right.

Speaker 1: 7:14

Let him. Let him heal you from your pain, so your future isn't ruled by your past and your pain. Look, man, he's creating new people in all of us, and so let him do a good work. He's already started it in you. Allow God to heal you. Number four hit him.

Speaker 2: 7:27

Next is he teaches you submission. In Ephesians 5 also, it says submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Listen, marriage is all about submitting to each other and to God. So I submit to my husband, he submits to me, and we together submit to God under our marriage, and it is constantly about serving each other. It's putting yourself, man. I did not want to give you that protein bar today. It was my last protein bar. It was chocolate, it was good and I had it saved for later. And he was like, can I have this last one? And I said yes, and then I had to hear him smack on it. But it's serving him, it's what we're going to tell him. No, that's my bar. No, what's mine is yours, what's yours is ours, and I'm going to serve you and let you have the last of the goodies, but it's constantly about putting each other first.

Speaker 1: 8:18

Yeah, I'm gonna say this right now If you're looking to get married before, god gives you someone to lead. He gives you someone to serve. That's good. He gives you someone to serve. So he teaches us how to submit right. The Bible says for women to submit to your husbands right, like the church has submitted to Christ. But it says husbands also love your wife like Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her. So if you want to be filled with God's love, god's love looks like service. This is we're talking about servanthood right now. If you want to get married, it's not because someone is there to serve you. It's because you're committing and devoting your life to serving someone else.

Speaker 2: 8:58

Hold on. I have to say something real quick. This is free. Y'all we serve at our church in a leadership role and I it's a proven fact how many people do we know that have met their spouse while they were serving at church? It is crazy. It is directly linked to once you serve your church, when you serve the house of God, that will literally do something in your heart and the Lord will see it inside of you and a lot of times that is how you meet your spouse. I'm not saying it's a one plus one equals two and that's it, but it's about the heart posture that then the Lord sees it developing in you and he's like, okay, now they're ready and they can bring it in. So, like you know, get plugged into your local church. Y'all serve at your local church.

Speaker 1: 9:40

Yeah, let's go All right. Number five God aligns you to spiritually right. God aligns you spiritually. Second Corinthians, chapter six, talks about I'm going to say the old version that everybody knows do not be unequally yoked. But I read, I read another version the other day and it says do not partner with the ungodly. Wow, that's heavy. Second Corinthians, chapter six, talks about that. Do not partner, do not come in covenant right. Do not marriage, marry someone that is ungodly. That's being unequally yoked. Listen, it's like being on a ladder.

Speaker 1: 10:14

I saw an analogy the other day. There was this couple. They're both on one side of the ladder, one's on this side, other one's on the other side of the ladder, and they're both climbing up to the ladder. They're apart, but as they go higher on the ladder, at the top, they meet where they're right there. You know what they were doing. They were both going up the top seeking God, and you meet at the top. So it's important that God will align you spiritually with the other person. So if the other person is not pursuing God, they're not going to pursue you. Make sure that they are chasing God and while chasing God they will find you, they will prepare themselves. So that's the five, that's the fifth thing that God will align you spiritually. Second Corinthians, chapter six.

Speaker 2: 10:54

And I love that. If you do not rush what he is preparing, his timing is perfect. We have our own clocks, we have our own time, we have what the world says, where we should be when we get married, when we have kids. We have our own timelines that the world tells us. But God's timing is perfect. He's not going to do it before both people are ready for that commitment and that covenant.

Speaker 1: 11:17

Yeah. So here's the truth. God is not withholding a spouse from you. He's preparing you to be a spouse. Right, it's two becoming one. That's the Bible. So both are becoming spouses. So it's not about man.

Speaker 1: 11:30

God hasn't sent me someone yet. Really think of it like this is. I'm not prepared yet. He's preparing me, so allow him to finish the work in you. Lean into it, enjoy the process. Let God stretch you, let him grow you. He is preparing you to be a wife. He's preparing you to be a husband. Don't try to work on the other person. I am tired of seeing couples struggling because one of the couples trying to fix the other person oof, no, fix yourself. Jesus talks about that. Before you check the other person, check yourself. So I'm telling you this right now if you're dating, if you are married and you're struggling, if you're pursuing to have a healthy, whole marriage that pleases god, I'm telling you right now work on yourself. Yes, let god work on you. Pray for the other person and let God work on them, and while you're both pursuing God, you will meet at the top and you will be equally yoked. That's all we got for today, man.

Speaker 2: 12:21

That's it. So if you loved this conversation, if you got any nuggets out of it, we want to see it in the comments. We're always checking comments. We love our let's Dig crew and we love growing with you. So hit that comment, hit that like, share you can even give us a little heart and give us some love and let us know, encourage us, that we are bringing value to your life, because that's why we're here. We are here to help you grow a deeper relationship with God, others and yourself. We love y'all. Keep digging.

Speaker 1: 12:49

Peace.