Men Need These Five Things From Women, But They'll Never Say It

Discover the hidden language of a man's heart in this powerful exploration of what men truly need from women. Drawing from our 15-year marriage journey—including the devastating challenges that nearly ended everything at year 10—we unpack five essential needs that most men will never verbalize, but desperately desire from their partners.

What happens when women don't understand these unspoken needs? Relationships suffer, sometimes silently, as men rarely articulate what they're missing. From the fundamental need for masculine space to the surprising truth about behind-the-scenes respect, we share vulnerable insights that transformed our own relationship from the brink of collapse to a thriving partnership.

We dive deep into biblical foundations, examining Genesis and how God designed masculine and feminine energies to complement rather than compete with each other. The conversation gets refreshingly real about validation, purpose, and creating safe spaces for vulnerability—all while navigating modern relationship dynamics that often blur traditional roles.

Ladies, this episode offers a roadmap to understanding what makes the man in your life feel truly seen, respected, and valued. Men, you'll find your unexpressed needs articulated in ways that might help you communicate more effectively with your partner. Whether you're dating, married, or single and looking, these insights create the foundation for relationships where both partners can flourish.

Ready to transform how you connect with the men in your life? This conversation bridges the communication gap that often leaves both partners frustrated and unfulfilled. Subscribe now to join our Let's Dig crew and continue growing deeper relationships with God, others, and yourself.

Buzzsprout - Let's get your podcast launched! 
Start for FREE

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Men's Needs
• 4:17 Space to Be Masculine
• 11:36 Men Need Validation, Not Mothering
• 21:30 Women With Purpose Keep Men
• 26:57 The Power of Supporting His Vulnerability
• 30:23 Respect Him Behind His Back
• 34:34 Closing Thoughts and Call to Action

Transcript

Danilee: 0:00

Let's dig crew. What's up? Thank you for joining this conversation. Today we are talking about the five things that men need from women.

Pierre: 0:10

Let's go.

Danilee: 0:11

Oh, it's a good one. Ladies, lean all the way in, come in, come in, come in. I can't wait, I'm gonna tell y'all.

Pierre: 0:16

I can't wait to hear this, because I never told you any of these five things. That's true, and guys don't worry, pierre's here.

Danilee: 0:22

He's going to keep us on track. He's going to make sure we're in the hot zone, cold zone, whatever. But I need you to write in the comments and make sure we're on the right page.

Pierre: 0:31

Right.

Danilee: 0:31

And that I'm telling my sisters the right things because I care about my girls. So I'm going to tell them today the five things that men need from us, and most of them, most of these things, men will not ask you for it. They ain't going to ask for it. They're not going to tell you Oftentimes, they're going to just move right along.

Pierre: 0:50

They're going to keep it pushing, and that's what I'm trying to say. I'm curious to hear what you're going to talk about, because I've never really asked you for these five things.

Danilee: 0:57

Okay.

Pierre: 0:58

So she just sent me her list. She sent it to me.

Danilee: 1:10

So I'm not gonna be ambushed by it, but I'm reading some of this. I'm like, okay, I, I like what I'm reading right now, but I would love for you to elaborate. Okay, and the last one, the very last thing that I'm gonna say that men need from us. They actually, you actually need it from me more behind your back than in your face.

Pierre: 1:23

Okay.

Danilee: 1:24

Okay so.

Pierre: 1:25

All right. So if you guys are looking forward to this conversation, go ahead and hit that like button. Hit the high button. Hit that like button. If you are new to the channel, let me just say right now what's up, you are part of the let's Dig crew. Hit that subscribe button. Listen, we are here to help you grow a deeper relationship with God. You grow a deeper relationship with God, others and yourself. That's why we are here. We love walking with you guys.

Danilee: 1:50

Shout out to all of our let's Dig crew members.

Pierre: 1:51

Yeah, that's been rocking with us for a while, and so if you listen to this on Apple, spotify, all the other channels too as well, go ahead and leave us a little tiny baby review. You could also hit that little heart button too, that's right here on YouTube, and send us some love. Love you guys, but if you guys are ready, let's dig Okay, you ready. Yeah, let's go.

Danilee: 2:09

So we were talking. I mean, this week we made it to 15 years of marriage.

Pierre: 2:15

Yeah, baby.

Danilee: 2:16

We I have been, not you. I have been emotional about it, because if you are new to the page and you don't know our story, we almost did not make it. Year 10 almost took us out, and so to come full circle to year 15 is honestly a gift from the Lord.

Danilee: 2:34

Hands down. We wouldn't be here without him, and if you haven't heard our story, go back and check out some of our other videos. We talk about what we went through, but when we were talking about this, we were talking about this. We were talking about how much we've learned in the last few years.

Pierre: 2:49

We've learned so much. I mean when we met each other right Late teens, early twenties. If you look back you're like yo, we were pretty young and we you know. It's funny because teenagers, 20 year olds, you know no offense, but you think you're're grown, but you really go through life, you realize. Oh my gosh.

Danilee: 3:07

I didn't know much.

Pierre: 3:08

I knew some, but not enough to really get through, and so we got married at a very young age, and so you saw me transform from a boy to a man yeah.

Pierre: 3:19

I saw you as a young college girl to a woman that you are today a wife right, uh, entrepreneur, uh, a mother right, a pastor, a mentor, a friend, and so here we are now, 18 years together, and I want to hear what you have to say. Like what, what are your thoughts? Like, what are the things that you feel like now being with me? You're also. You also have a father in your life. You have a brother in your life. You got, um, a son. You have a son like, you have cousins that are guys. You have brother-in-laws. You have all these men that are in your life. Yeah, from from what you've learned, from what you've experienced, from what you've read, from what you've seen, I want to hear like what do you think us men like we really need?

Danilee: 4:01

so to start conversation, I feel like we have to go all the way back to the beginning.

Pierre: 4:05

Yeah.

Danilee: 4:06

And not the beginning of us, but the beginning in Genesis.

Pierre: 4:10

Yeah.

Danilee: 4:11

Of how God designed.

Pierre: 4:12

Genesis is in the Bible. In the Bible, by the way. You'd be surprised how many people are like where's Genesis? I don't know what Genesis is.

Danilee: 4:20

I used to know it, girl, but I don't really know. So Genesis in the Bible, how God created Adam and Eve and how he created their dynamic. So I think the first thing that I want to talk about is how men need space to be masculine.

Pierre: 4:39

So that's what wait? Yes, that's number one, there we go.

Danilee: 4:42

You need space to be masculine. Yeah, because if we look at the dynamics of a relationship, if there is no space for you to be that masculine force and for me to be my feminine and again this is why I wanted to reference the Bible I'm not talking about get your feminine energy, women power Like I'm not talking about. Women are equal in everything that we do. Like I'm not talking about we're going back to the Bible. We are going back to how God designed a man and his space and how he designed women in our space.

Pierre: 5:18

It's interesting you're talking about that because there's been this huge revolution of like women power. Yes, this whole thing of like men and women can do all the things the same we see in society, right, we see men that are turning themselves into women to compete in women's sports. Right, we see, you know men that's going to be, you know, transitioning to be a woman, yeah, and then they go to prison. They had, they get other women pregnant in jail.

Danilee: 5:49

I don't want to talk about it.

Pierre: 5:50

I know, but, like I'm saying, is like we're living in a time where sometimes it's even hard to grab a door, hold a door for a woman, right, because you insult them.

Pierre: 5:58

Because it's insulting. Somebody created this, this mindset that you know, women are less than Right and it's not that. And then, because of that, somebody countered it and say no, women are equal to and equal and inequality has been blurred. Right, because now equality is like no, if you can do it, I can do it, but that's not really what it is. And as you're talking about going back to the originality of how God created a man and a woman, I love how you're saying that and I don't know if this is in order this list that you have is probably not in order, but I do like that. You're saying number one like a man needs to feel like the man in the relationship.

Danilee: 6:37

Yeah.

Pierre: 6:38

I would concur, because that's even how God designed. As you're talking about Genesis, you know, god designed the man, he designed the woman, even their body parts, their counter body parts were very specific. And even at the fall of man, right For those of you that know the story, you know Adam and Eve, right there in this garden, right, walking with God, like there's no sin, there's no darkness, and the woman is the one that is tempted.

Pierre: 7:00

But when God came looking for them, god had a conversation with the man, yeah, and because he was held accountable, as the covering as the overseer, as the man of the household, not because he's above her, like some type of narcissistic, controlling dictator, but more like a covering, a shield, a protector, someone to look over. And he was held responsible that you took your eyes off of this woman. You took your eyes and she fell into this sin and we all fell and stumbled. But he was actually held accountable. And actually, if you look into Genesis, when God was like all right, women, here's what you're going to have to go through because you made a decision. And men, here's what you're going to have to go through to make decision From the sweat from your brow. In Genesis 3, we read this God's like you're going to have to work. You don't have to plow the ground, you're going to have to work. That's how you're going to eat, it's when you sweat, that's when you put in work.

Pierre: 7:53

But I do believe that, like you're onto something and I don't know, maybe guys jump into chat, jump into conversation, like what are your thoughts on, like the woman that's in your life? If there's ever a time where you don't feel like a man, like even list out what are the things that you consider to say okay, these are the things that make me feel like a man when it comes to decision-making, like when it comes to certain things that we do about the house, like when it comes to leading my, like my family, I do. I would say I do agree that like for me. If I don't feel like a man in this relationship, like, say, I do agree that like for me if I don't feel like a man in this relationship, like I'm going to go find it somewhere else, right yeah.

Danilee: 8:28

And if a woman is taking up that space and it's really hard because in the last few years, since this female power movement, a lot of women have had to be single mothers Um, and they do go into this independence which we should have independence Like I'm not, I'm not taking that from women in this discussion, but what I'm saying is there is a way to be independent, but still let you lead. There's a way for me to be strong in my independence but also submit to you, because you are the head of my household and you're my covering.

Pierre: 9:02

Yeah.

Danilee: 9:02

Like there's there's a balance to it.

Pierre: 9:04

Yeah, and it's funny too, because there's there's a percentage of women that feel like, okay, when I go into the conference room, when I go into these meetings with men, right, studies even show women lower your voice so that you can be heard over men, right, dress a certain way, right, you know. Here's how you should wear on the top, wear this on the bottom, things like that to go head to head with, like with these men, and I get it in in the work field. There are some strategies, right To be heard.

Pierre: 9:28

There's some strategies um to be effective in the work field, I fully understand that. But when it compromises who you are like, when it makes you diminish the the the women features in you, because you feel like I need to be masculine, like, like a man, you know, if you're single or if you can't find somebody, you know, I know some women that are single and sometimes I see some behaviors and some traits in them I'm like no man would want that because these are such strong masculine features that you're carrying.

Danilee: 9:58

Or you should say no man would be drawn to that they wouldn't be attracted to it.

Pierre: 10:02

They wouldn't be attracted to that because for me I'm attracted to a woman. Opposites attract. So if you bring in some manly features into our relationship, and to each his own right, like some of y'all dudes out there, I ain't whatever. I ain't going to judge everybody out there, but to each his own. But the counter things that we bring to a relationship I'm bringing in a hundred percent being a man, you're coming in a hundred percent being a woman. That's attractive to me. I was attracted to you because you were a woman, so I want that is when it is in sync, that is when it fits.

Danilee: 10:46

That is when it works, Is when we're both in the roles and positions that God has designed us to be. It doesn't mean that only you can take out the trash and only I can wash the dishes Although those are agreements we have had in our specific household that I don't think girls should have to touch trash and he doesn't want to touch dishes, but that's a trivial thing. But to break it down to say like we have the best flow in our marriage when we are mimicking the design that God created it to be Okay.

Pierre: 11:19

All right, what's number two?

Danilee: 11:20

Number two Wait so do we get a green light for that one? Yeah, I mean, I want to feel Number two. All right, wait. So do we get a green light?

Pierre: 11:24

for that one. Yeah, thank you. I want to feel like a man in our relationship, okay.

Danilee: 11:27

Number two men need to feel validated, validated, and that means not mothered validated. So a lot of times women, us women we can get to the point where we kind of feel a little naggy, we feel a little discrediting. We can be very critical, actually very critical, very critical. And you need from me, more than anything, that I validate you, who you are, your identity, even if I have something critical to say, like, for instance, I'm thinking of one thing right now. You always say a certain word funny to me and I can be critical about that. But actually what I want you to hear from me is that when you were speaking and you said that funny word, which was occupy, you were killing what you were doing Like you did such a great job.

Danilee: 12:30

You have such a gift the way your mind thinks, the things that God's put inside of you, the way you communicate Although you may say a word, funny, you were slaying that like you were excelling, and so men need to feel from us validated, because the rest of the world is going to criticize them.

Pierre: 12:47

You know it's funny too, because men and women are so different, because the type of validation you guys need as women is not the same For us men. We almost need you guys to like stroke our ego for sure and, like you guys don't really need the same thing like I.

Pierre: 13:04

I know, for women and we this will be conversation for our next episode is, ultimately, women want to actually feel our love. They want to actually feel that they are loved and it's's a feeling Most men struggle with that because we, like, we provide love. We provide love Like look at this, this, this, this roof over your head.

Danilee: 13:25

Right.

Pierre: 13:25

Right there's money in the bank. There's there's food in the kitchen. Right there's clothes on you. Look at the like. All these things like that should already tell you that we love you. But that's actually not true for women. Women actually want to feel loved, right, and so I struggle with that because and I think I'd probably say most men would struggle with that would struggle with, like, making you guys feel love in other ways other than like the materialistic stuff, like it's holding your hand. Right, it's yesterday, it was our anniversary, and I held your hand in a car and I just began to just kiss it.

Danilee: 13:59

yeah, right, you can feel my love, even though your nails were all busted up and you didn't have no nails on you, and then you didn't even give me time to put my nails on before we went out tonight and guess what guys you? Also didn't give me time to do my nails. Today I still don't have any nails on that that sounds like a personal issue. First of all, I'm gonna say that right now, leave them out of this, hey, but here's, here's.

Pierre: 14:18

Here's what I'm saying. Is you felt love? Um and and, and, and, and, and. I think, as you're talking about, for us men, the love that we need to feel is very different. And I do agree, like validation is very important for me, like it does build up my confidence right, it builds up my self-esteem, it makes me feel like you're my cheerleader like you're my number one fan and for us guys like we genuinely do need that.

Danilee: 14:47

The other day we were driving in the car and Jordan, our son, he's 11. He asked me do I believe you're going to make a certain goal someday?

Pierre: 14:56

Yeah.

Danilee: 14:57

And I said so fast, yeah, absolutely, without a doubt. And he was like really, and I was like, yeah, absolutely, mark my words Like, put it on record. And I've said that since I met you. I know that that will be a goal that you will achieve someday.

Pierre: 15:12

Yeah.

Danilee: 15:12

And I dare another woman try to bet more than me.

Pierre: 15:21

Like no one believes in you more than me. Yeah, and, which was crazy too, I was quiet the whole time. I never said one word, because I'm just taking it all in.

Pierre: 15:26

But it's like man, she really does believe in me, like she really does validate, she does see these gifts in me yeah and I would say this too, like you know, ladies, as you're listening, if there's, if there's a man in your life, whether you, you guys, are dating, whether you guys are married, um, like, like, whether it's a sibling or or, or a father figure, like there's there's so many different ways where this can apply. Like you know, men, we do want to feel validated. Like you know, like we said in Genesis, you know, adam's curse was you bought a sweat of your brow, you're going to have to work and that's how you're going to eat. And so, for us, the work that we put in, the stuff that we put in the, the, the labor of our hands, like to feel like it's appreciated or validated, um goes a long way.

Danilee: 16:11

What would be the primary way that or a primary thing that I do or maybe need to do more of, like? What's that primary thing that makes you feel validated from your work?

Pierre: 16:24

Say that again. So, like you said, I blacked out because I was. I'm so hungry.

Danilee: 16:29

Guys, I'm thinking about chicken.

Pierre: 16:32

Okay, fried chicken.

Danilee: 16:33

Listen. So you said that you need to feel validated because you guys are putting in sweat, you're working with your hands, you're putting in hard work. What is the primary way that I make you feel that validation for you, specifically like you're working, or is it something I need to do more of?

Pierre: 16:51

But what is that one thing I think you do. I'd say, the one thing that you do is you acknowledge my work, like you see what I mean. Yeah, so you said it. The other day you sat in one of my leadership sessions and which was really cool.

Danilee: 17:06

I'm leading this session for leaders. It's called call to lead.

Pierre: 17:07

Yeah, it was amazing and it's an opportunity for leaders and influencers to come and build up their influential skills, how to be more effective in their own environment, how to build up just their communication ability and things like that. But you guys know, you know me being Haitian, being in multicultural states in my life, like I've picked up different things and in my accent, so there's sometimes there's certain words that I say funny, so there's some words I just can't say. Or there's some words I got to think really hard. I'm like that word just don't come out right. I just know that Right. And so I was saying the word occupy, occupy, occupy and I was like, was it occupy?

Pierre: 17:41

And then you say too many times like I don't know, like what's real or wrong. Nothing sounds right, nothing sounds right anymore. But so if you would have came and just nitpick and criticize me for the one thing that I did wrong and never even acknowledge, like the fruit of my work and my labor, like there's no validation there, I would have just think like man, I put in so much work and all she could see is the one word I couldn't pronounce properly. And so I think, babe, honestly, like you do it, I feel that in our relationship, that you acknowledge my work, which makes me feel validated. Good, okay, yeah, what's number three man?

Danilee: 18:15

Number three, actually, actually I'm gonna throw in like a little tiny one, and I'm a little tiny, one is it's like 2.1, 2.5, what you doing it's like two and then you know how the outline like the two and the a. Okay, you guys actually need to feel like we think you're funny. Yeah, that's still in that's still in validation.

Pierre: 18:35

You yeah, that's still in. That's still in validation. You think so? Yeah, that's still in validation. That's validating me. That's when I laugh at you.

Danilee: 18:43

I just feel like it is such a thing that guys love to feel like we think you're the funniest person in the world. And it is true, like humor is so attractive.

Pierre: 18:52

I'm going to say this right now, like ladies, like if don't date him.

Danilee: 19:03

Get out of the relationship If you're dating.

Pierre: 19:04

Get out of it If you're married like we're not going to support divorce, like this is not it unless there's sin involved. But I'm saying it's like you guys need to figure something, find something about him that's funny, even if he's funny looking.

Danilee: 19:16

Wait, I was going to say like I was going to tell my girls like, listen y'all, don't laugh at a guy that you do not think is handsome or attractive. Because as soon as you laugh at a guy, if it's two single people, think about it. If it's two single people and the girl starts laughing at this guy, he automatically thinks oh, she's feeling me.

Pierre: 19:38

Yeah, she liked me, bro. She stayed laughing at me.

Danilee: 19:40

So, ladies, keep it together. It might have been funny, but if you are not feeling this guy, do not laugh at his face.

Pierre: 19:46

But here's where I'm going to defend the girls, because it's unfair, because most girls are very different. You might like a guy, but not like a guy For sure, and so it's unfair for a girl to say like the guy is funny but that doesn't mean I want to be with him, I know this conversation is about men, and so I agree with you that ladies, us men, we want to feel validated.

Pierre: 20:09

So, like I want my woman to have a sense of humor and I want your humor to be attached to my humor, and so I don't want to ever feel like there's another dude in the room that's funnier than me. To you For sure, like you know what I'm saying no and so, and you always know too, I start hating on him than me. To you for sure, like you know, I'm saying no and so, and, and you always know too, I start hating on him like man, look at this guy, bro, look at his nose. I start hating on him straight, you know, because, honestly, us men, believe it or not, we're more jealous than women that's crazy, but that's the thing like we just don't talk about these things, and so I appreciate

Pierre: 20:42

you saying like, okay, women, men need to feel validation. So he wants to feel like he's your champion, he wants to feel like he's the funniest guy in your life. You know what I'm saying? So I do. Yeah, man, like I'm tracking with you, I'm tracking with you. First of all, and let me say this If you guys are liking this conversation, if you guys think that we're hitting this on the nose, if any of this resonates with you, hit that like button, leave us a comment. Really, literally. We want to know your thoughts about this conversation as well. If you haven't subscribed, what are you waiting for? Just hit the button. It costs you nothing.

Danilee: 21:18

Well, I mean, we're going to be in your feet all the time. But there you go there's that. Okay, ready Number three. Yeah, number three men need women to have a purpose.

Pierre: 21:30

A woman without a plan can't keep a man. Oh, excuse me, say that one time. Yo, I'm gonna say this A woman.

Danilee: 21:38

Is that Martin?

Pierre: 21:39

No, that's me, baby Yo. A woman without a plan can't keep a man. Oh, a man is attracted to a woman with a purpose.

Danilee: 21:49

Yeah, Like you guys have, to like if you had a girlfriend or a wife or someone that you're dating that didn't have a plan for herself, a motivation and inspiration, a passion project like nothing.

Pierre: 22:04

Yeah.

Danilee: 22:05

They, like those men, do not want a woman who's a damsel, like they want someone who's motivated. And I want to be very clear. That means, whatever you do, you're passionate about it and you have purpose.

Danilee: 22:17

And that does not mean that that only way that you can do that is by getting a job and being a career woman and an entrepreneur. It doesn't matter. If that's your thing, do that. If your thing is to be at home and take care of kids, that is your purpose. Like whatever it is that you're passionate about, like you have to have purpose behind it. That is what a man needs. He needs like as he takes care of the house, as he works, as he does what he needs to to provide for the family. He needs to know that his partner has her purpose as well and they're working together.

Pierre: 22:54

Yo, some of my most frustrated seasons of my life with you would be the days that I'd come home. And what'd you do today? Oh, just, you know stuff. I'm like like what stuff you know, I slept in. I'm like, again, you slept in. Again, you slept in yesterday.

Danilee: 23:10

Listen, he be judging me when I sleep in.

Pierre: 23:13

I'm like I'd be like, oh, okay, you slept in, okay, what time you wake up? Uh, you know, okay, and did you go to the gym? So I went to the gym, but I wasn't really motivated, wasn't?

Danilee: 23:24

motivated, I went to dunkin donuts and got a donut and a coffee I'm like oh, okay, I'm looking around the house guys.

Pierre: 23:32

Oh, I don't see no donuts around the house for me. I was really struggling, okay. So you, you got a donut got it. Yes, cool, we're at work and you came home, I was like okay, cool. And she and she'd be like yeah, I still need to take a shower. I'm like it's it's 6.30 pm, when do you take your showers?

Danilee: 23:49

It's true, guys, there have been seasons, I mean and I think that all women can identify with this and like relate to it that there are seasons where sometimes our purpose goes up and down or we're reconsidering, like when we moved to LA. To LA, getting into, like, the hair salon scene was so hard at the beginning and so I was waiting for my license. I couldn't get hired till my license came through. It just felt like it took forever and that season was very frustrating and I felt like I had no purpose. There are other seasons where, after COVID, I didn't think I was going back into hair and so then I was like I don't know what I want to do with my life, and that was part of even our breakdown of our marriage and in therapy was what is my purpose? So there have been those fluctuations, but I remember that being so frustrating for you, of like, but what do you want? Because I do think that I championed you hardcore. You wanted to do the same for me.

Pierre: 24:47

And if I don't?

Danilee: 24:47

know it, then how do you champion for?

Pierre: 24:49

me and that's going to go to number four in a moment. But yeah, I really wanted you to just find your thing and, like you said earlier, purpose is not saying that you have to be this entrepreneur businesswoman that's killing in the industry.

Danilee: 25:03

You can be and you don't have to be.

Pierre: 25:04

Like you totally can be and and it's just killing in the industry. You can be and you don't have to be. Like you totally can be, and your purpose could be like, hey, I'm staying at home, I'm taking care of the kids and I'm making a home for us. That's a purpose. Yeah, and don't let anyone ever think you or make you think, that that's no purpose at all. Your purpose may be something as simple as, like you know, let's say, you're in my mom her purpose was praying for people.

Pierre: 25:24

That woman knew jesus she had a 24 7 phone line. It's just like no matter what time of day you call her, she on and matter of fact she doesn't pick up because she's on the other line praying with somebody in haiti.

Pierre: 25:34

Yep, I'm like so that was her purpose. Yeah, her purpose was her children. Yeah, and she took pride in that. So I'm not sitting here saying like, purpose this and that you guys need to have a. You know, you, if you're a husband or your wife, you guys have a conversation about purpose does not equal income.

Danilee: 25:48

Yeah, yeah, and so it doesn't determine it.

Pierre: 25:51

It's quality over quantity, right. And so for you, if you made a decision saying like this is my purpose and I'm OK with, and I was OK with season, where you're like I'm taking this season off to really find myself and discover myself, ok, cool For me as partner, it's like, all right, how are we going to do that now? Right, what time are you waking up? You still, you still going to sleep in and just, and so there was still activity for this, because it's quality over quantity, yeah, you know what I mean. So I do believe that for me as a man and I think most men can say this like we want a woman that has a purpose, that feels like she knows why she exists, why she's here. You know what I'm saying. I do think that's big. That's big and it's attractive.

Danilee: 26:30

It is attractive. I was going to say that.

Pierre: 26:31

And vice versa too.

Danilee: 26:32

I think this is going to make the list for, like yo, what?

Pierre: 26:35

women want. Women want a man too, as like. Hey, bro, what are you doing with yourself?

Danilee: 26:51

Well, you know, I'm finding myself Nice, finding myself don't pay the bills and I'm not looking for you, so I'm keep moving. Let me know when you find yourself and then I'll come find you. Like, where's Waldo? Okay, number four, all right. Number four a man needs to be supported.

Pierre: 26:57

Explain.

Danilee: 26:58

And I think that goes beyond or like in a different category of validated. I think that supported means that when you come home and you may have frustration, when you may have fatigue, when you may have like just roadblocks that you're running into, that I am still supporting you, even when you're showing the weakness.

Pierre: 27:27

Yeah.

Danilee: 27:27

Because I think that there's so much stigma on a man always being strong, always being, like, consistent and yes, we do need consistency from you, yes, we do need your strength.

Danilee: 27:38

But when you don't have them which is natural, which is normal am I still supporting you? Or am I kicking you while you're down? Like, no, I'm still here for you, it's okay, you can show that vulnerability, I can sit here with you in it which took me some time to learn sometimes um of like allowing you to show that vulnerability and show that, that weakness or that struggle, and then to still be there with you, alongside of you, and be like okay, what do you need from me? Okay, let's just let's give it time. Okay, let's just make sure that we do that. Like cause support. In that sense, I just think that I literally have a visual of it, of the support beams. Like when the roof is falling in, is the support beam still there? Like and that's my role as a wife, as a woman close to you in your life to say like, no, I've got you, Even on those days when you do crumble a little bit.

Pierre: 28:35

Yeah, that's big man Cause. Ultimately, like I don't. I don't need you to be my mom, Right, I don't need you to be my my elementary teacher yeah, I don't need you to be my coach. I don't need you to be my my elementary teacher yeah, I don't need you to be my coach. I don't need you to be my motivator, Right. Like I love the thought of we. We are support for each other.

Danilee: 28:56

What's? The other day where I was like you were. You were frustrated about something and I said, oh no, I'm not trying to give you a speech because I know I can't motivate you. Yeah, Like you motivate me, I can't give you the coach speech. And it be as effective as you can for me.

Pierre: 29:08

Yeah.

Pierre: 29:08

But to just sit in it with you and to be like, yeah, man, it really is frustrating and I'm sorry, and that happens Like we have moments throughout the week I'm like yo, this sucks right now, the situation, and you would just sit there and support me in it.

Pierre: 29:24

You know like, and yeah, you wouldn't beat me while I'm down or you wouldn't try to get me out of it, like, cause that's tough too. I'm like yo, I don't want you to snap me or slap me out of it. It's that support of like I feel you, I see you, I see the work that you're putting in, I see where you're coming from. And then we you know, we talk about this in our last few episodes like, even like, when it comes to like, even fighting explosive fights of asking the question of like, what do you need from me? Cause that's very helpful too, cause I think there'll be times where I'm like the support is you just asking like, what do you need from me in this season, right now, in this day, in this moment? You know what I'm saying, so I think I think that's big All right.

Danilee: 30:00

So what Last one, and this is what we said.

Pierre: 30:03

Number five.

Danilee: 30:04

Number five we said that you need it more behind your back than you need it in your face. Any guesses?

Pierre: 30:12

Yeah Well, you sent me your list. Oh, that's true. Oh, that's not fun.

Danilee: 30:15

Okay, now let's see if they're guessing in the comments. Okay, so it is respect.

Pierre: 30:23

Yeah.

Danilee: 30:30

Respect, and that means that you actually need to hear about my respect and my speech about you to other people more than you need to hear me verbalize my respect to you. I do need to give you respect in our home, in our conversations. Respect goes both ways, right. So even in an argument, like I need to respect you, like all those things, yes, but also even more than that, when I'm talking to someone else and you come up, do I respect you in the way I talk about you? Do I lift you up in the way, or do I make fun, or do I poke, or what does that look like? Like you need more respect. In other circles of conversation that you're not in, yeah, but when I'm there, like I'll be that part for you.

Pierre: 31:12

That's big yeah. And if, if, if a man feels respected, you'll get the best out of him. Yeah, like, you'll get him feeling confident, you'll get him respecting everyone else in the room. Um, and you, you'll get his attention.

Danilee: 31:30

That's so good you know what I mean?

Pierre: 31:31

Yeah, so that's big. That's big. I really do agree with this. This is more important to happen behind my back than in front of me.

Danilee: 31:41

Yeah.

Pierre: 31:42

Because, like you know, I look at my parents, I look at my mom. Like my mom never bad mouthed my dad a day in my life behind his back to us, and that was massive and I can. And he, he, he was confident and he succeeded because of that, like because she respected him and he actually wouldn't give all these other women certain type of attention because he knew that like nah, nah, nah, nah, no one can top my wife in the category of respect. Like you know what I'm saying.

Danilee: 32:09

And I think in a marriage you actually feel my respect more than you hear it Like I don't verbalize my respect to you. You feel it in how I talk to you. You feel it in how I treat you in our home. You feel it in those manners. But when it respect is verbalized, it's verbalized to other people, it's verbalized to our kids, verbalized to my family or your family, like in those circles, it is words.

Pierre: 32:36

Yeah, that's big Ladies. What do you guys or what do you gals think about this conversation? As you're listening in on, like okay, I'm in a relationship right now. Let's say you're in a marriage. Let's say, um, let's say you're dating. Let's say you're listening in on, like okay, I'm in a relationship right now. Let's say you're in a marriage. Let's say you're dating. Let's say you're looking. These are the type of things that I do agree with you that men do need and actually don't ask for. They will not ask for it, and if it gets to the point that a man finally has to ask for this, he's been thinking about it for too long.

Danilee: 33:01

Yeah, yeah, it's very true, and a lot of times actually, I think that the man would actually not ask for it. He would probably just end the relationship and move to the next.

Pierre: 33:10

Yeah.

Danilee: 33:11

If he doesn't feel respected, if he doesn't feel supported, if he doesn't feel honored, like those things, if he doesn't feel this space for masculine space, like he's not going to verbalize those things, he's going to be like, yeah, it's just not a fit and he's going to move on. Yeah, and men, if you are listening to this conversation and we didn't mention some things that you feel like you need but you may not ask for, please write them in the comments, like write them down below in this video.

Pierre: 33:37

Yeah.

Danilee: 33:38

Let the other women that are watching this video, let them hear from you and say like, oh yeah, I didn't think about that one. And even if we have to do a part two of this.

Pierre: 33:46

We could do a part two of this conversation and also to like. You know these, all these lanes can be broken, broken up into so many different subcategories. Right, you say, okay, men need sex. Well, that falls under the first one of like man, like the masculinity. I want to feel that in our sexual life. Yeah, that's true, you know they're like. I never have to ask you for certain stuff in sex because you just know what I like, you just know what it is and for me, like it's the worst having to ask for it and I never have to ask for it because I'm like and she know your girl be taking care of your boy.

Pierre: 34:21

Listen, guys, every time he goes to this conversation, I get so nervous. I saw you two trying to play clean Because I don't know what Pierre is going to throw at me. I kept it clean. Thank you for keeping it clean. I love you.

Danilee: 34:34

All right, y'all, if you enjoyed this conversation. We hope that it really, really brought value to you. Please like, share, comment, subscribe, do all the things and become part of the let's dig crew, because we love y'all and we are here to help you grow a deeper relationship with God, others and yourself.

Pierre: 34:51

We will see you next time, peace.