LET'S DIG | Pierre & Danilee Aristil
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- Matthew 22:37-39
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LET'S DIG | Pierre & Danilee Aristil
Lessons in Leadership | The Good & The Bad
This episode explores the essence of leadership, emphasizing that it's not confined to titles but revolves around influence, trust, and relationship building. The hosts share personal stories, struggles, and key insights into effective leadership while encouraging listeners to seek growth and wisdom in their leadership journeys.
• Understanding the real meaning of leadership
• Difference between managers and true leaders
• Importance of trust in leadership dynamics
• Personal stories illustrate real-world leadership challenges
• The role of self-awareness and humility in effective leadership
• Encouragement and guidance for aspiring leaders
• Biblical principles as a foundation for leadership practices
• The continuous journey of growth in leadership roles
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Let's dig crew. Thank you for joining this conversation. Today is going to be a good one. Today, we're talking about something that everyone either has in their life or something that they will become at some point in their life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think, even if someone aspires to step into a leadership role.
Speaker 1:You took the ding ding ding word you just was taking so long.
Speaker 2:I'm like why is she talking?
Speaker 1:like this. I was getting there. You sound like an AI bot. An AI bot. You're the worst. Okay, what we're talking about today is leadership. You either have a leader in your life or someday you're going to become a leader, and we are really going to talk.
Speaker 2:What about if you are a leader, or you already are a leader? You left out a very big point the people that are leaders. This ain't for people that are currently leaders.
Speaker 1:We don't take take twos. This is just going to be it.
Speaker 2:We don't do take twos Yo if you guys are looking forward to this conversation, be sure to hit that like button, hit that thumbs up here on YouTube. Shout out to all of our LDC folks that's been rocking with us. You can also hit that little heart sign, too, as well, if this channel has been a blessing to you. If you're joining us on Apple, if you're joining us on Spotify, don't be shy. Leave us a little review, write back, send us a little comment. We want to know how we're doing. Our goal is to make sure that we're being a blessing to you guys and that we're able to just empower you guys and just pour and plant seeds that can change your lives. And so we don't have all the answers, but we have scenarios, we have questions, we have thoughts, we have experiences, and our prayer is that every single time you sit in on these conversations, that you pick up a seed, you pick up a nugget, something that you could have an encounter with God.
Speaker 1:Are you rewriting our purpose statement right now, because you said all of that. Oh and you didn't say why we're here we are here to help you grow a deeper relationship with God, others and yourself, so that's why today, we are talking about leadership. So if you're ready, let's dig, let's dig.
Speaker 2:You know leadership is is is interesting too because, you know, we we always think of the word leadership as someone who's the boss in the room and someone who's in charge, but when I look at the word leader, or the thought or the concept leader, I think of those that are able to influence those that are around them, those that are able to lead a cause or lead a movement or be able to turn a room around. You don't actually necessarily have to be the manager.
Speaker 1:You don't have to have the title.
Speaker 2:I think so many people are so obsessed with titles and they think like, well, make me the leader. And I'm guilty of that too sometimes. Sometimes I'm like, well, give me the title, give me the position. But when you really think about it, it's like step up to the plate, bring a change to the room, influence people, inspire someone. And I think there's a big difference between managers and leaders. Managers tell people to do, leaders inspire people to do.
Speaker 1:That's a really good differentiate.
Speaker 2:Right, I saw you turn into a manager one time.
Speaker 1:I sure did, man, and I thought I was like this is it. I was working at a salon. They asked me to step up as assistant manager. Uh, and to be clear, there was no like regular manager above me, so it was pretty much the management of the salon and I was very excited for the opportunity. I had a really good relationship with all the girls, I got along with them, and so I was pumped. I was like I finally get to move up to management and I called a meeting.
Speaker 1:And boy, when I tell you, I had to eat the biggest piece of humble pie Actually, it was the entire pie because the meeting blew up in my face. Girls stormed out of the meeting. That's crazy, bro. I was sitting there dumbfounded because I thought I had good relationships with all of them so that meant I could lead them, and that wasn't true, like there's so many more layers to leadership, more than just having a good relationship, and so that was my first taste of it and I was like, yeah, this sucks. It's wild too.
Speaker 2:So someone asked us a question. We're doing an interview a couple of weeks ago and the question that we were asked was what has been the greatest joy and struggles in leadership roles while in church or even in your community and it sounds like you've started to answer this in this community side. You working at the salon being a manager and you thought, because you're a manager, you're now the people's leader.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I thought like the relationships would swing over, which is also not true Once you get lifted to a higher role. Expectations raise, demands raise. They expect more from me at that point. And then I think one of the biggest experiences that I had in that moment was I was misunderstood. Like if I had a conversation with a girl when I was just lead stylist to another stylist, they would understand where I'm coming from. As soon as I got put in that leadership role and I had the same conversation, they all of a sudden didn't understand me.
Speaker 1:I'm like that's not what I said at all. Like it was just almost overnight. Once I got that title, they no longer gave me the benefit of the doubt of like, oh no, I know, danny Lee, she didn't mean that she wouldn't do that, nope. As soon as I became assistant manager, it was like she did this, she did that, and it was really hard to understand. Like that, I had to start from ground zero.
Speaker 2:I had to rebuild that trust.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and as we've been stepping more into leadership roles and we've been doing some studies too, like that book Speed of Trust that we've read, it was a really good indicator, letting us know that you, as a leader, you walk into a room with your heart in the right place, but the people see you walk into the room with your behavior. So true, so your motives may have been nice, your motives may have been pure Right, but all they see is your actions and your behavior. So it makes sense why you said I felt misunderstood Because you're like no, my heart's in the right place. I do want to make this organization a better place.
Speaker 1:Like I want to help you.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I took this role to help you.
Speaker 2:I got to cough.
Speaker 1:Oh Lord, Guys, he's been coughing all week.
Speaker 2:Guys, there's been a bug going around, there's been some type of flu going around, and I think I caught it like a week ago.
Speaker 1:I'm good now. So, like I, you're right. I went in with best of motive, best intentions. I took that title so that I could make it better for them and then, all of a sudden, when I was sitting in that seat, I became the enemy, I became the bad person.
Speaker 2:I became the one that they were upset with. Here's my question, for you is. Going back to the main question what has been one of your greatest struggles while being in a leadership role? Like one of your greatest struggles?
Speaker 1:My greatest struggles, I think, balancing. So there's something that I know God has gifted me with, and that is to be friends with people like to be warm and open.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you are, you're mad friendly.
Speaker 1:I'm like ready to go, like I can be super friendly and that's just a gift God's given me. But it also is been a struggle to learn how to harness it and not allow people to get hurt because of it. So a lot of times I will connect with someone and I'm like, oh, this is so fun.
Speaker 2:Or like from the movie Step Brothers I will connect with someone and I'm like, oh, this is so fun. Or like from the movie Step.
Speaker 1:Brothers. Did we just become best friends? They think, did we just become best friends? I may not. I just think, oh my gosh, I clicked with you. This is so cool. I love that, that's great, I'll see you next week. And to me it wasn't any deeper, but to them it felt like, did we just become best friends? And then when the relationship changes or seasons change or my schedule changes or anything changes, those people tend to get hurt and it's not in my intention, it's not what I want to happen. So learning how to like, harness that and deal with people's hearts without hurting them has been a very, very big struggle, because my intent is to never hurt them. I love them hard, whether I see them once a month or whether I see them once a year, like I love hard. That's just part of what God's given me, but it has been really hard to maybe communicate more clearly or, um, to just define what, what kind of relationship I'm going to have with that person and what that might look like. That's been one of my struggles for sure.
Speaker 2:It makes sense, and I'm wondering if you're more intentional of communicating with somebody at the beginning and the start of the relationship, letting them know your strengths and your superpowers, that, hey, god has given me an ability to practice hospitality and compassion with people, so you're going to feel, we're going to feel an instant connection.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Like like we'll feel close right away.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but but it's tough too, cause you can't be like someone like me, just be like, be careful, cause we're not best friends.
Speaker 1:Bro Cause I've said that before. I'm like hey, I know.
Speaker 2:I'm like yo. I know you feel like we're close, but we're not friends.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, and that person wanted it so badly.
Speaker 2:I was working with somebody many years ago and he'd ask me he's like hey bro, like are we best friends? And I'm like no bro we're not like we became friends.
Speaker 1:You didn't say best?
Speaker 2:I don't. I feel like best friends is for women and children.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's actually valid. It's very much a girl thing.
Speaker 2:Like I have really good close friends. I got one or two like close friends, but I don't ever think I said yeah, so my best friend, could you imagine me saying yeah, so this?
Speaker 1:is my best friend. Never, never, I could never imagine you using that verbiage.
Speaker 2:Yo, and I feel like some people are going to give me some heat right now. It's like oh my gosh, I can't believe. Pierre just said that best friends are for children and for women. I'm just like bro, if you're a grown man, you have best friends. That's completely fine. I just have really close friends and I have good friends right. But people tend to just find you connect with you and in their mind they already put you in a box, in a place where you are in their heart.
Speaker 2:And you don't even realize it. And it's tough being their leader too at the same time. Totally, because as a leader, you constantly have to keep growing, like a team will never grow if the leader doesn't grow grow if the leader doesn't grow.
Speaker 1:And they, and these, these people that have connected to me in that point, they tend to and I've seen it from a lot of them get very territorial of me. Like they don't want to share me with no one else. So, once they've connected with me, they don't want me to move up and they don't want me to move to a different, like friendship connection literally a different, different conversation. They don't want me to move to a different, like friendship connection, literally a different conversation. They don't want me to move to the other conversation.
Speaker 2:They want me to stay right there with them, hold their hand and be very close to them only, and it's like it gets unhealthy, Like you can't but I will say and this is where I'm challenging you because I feel like it's shame on you for knowing this about your skillset, your superpower, your strength and going into a relationship realizing like, oh my gosh, this person is obsessed with me and you got to figure out a point where you're like catching it right now, letting them know Again, not being as harsh and aggressive as I would be, like, hey, let me just put a pin in this right now. We're not best friends.
Speaker 1:Right, I'm not saying that Right.
Speaker 2:But letting them know like I'm in your life for this season and right now I'm walking directly next to you, but there's going to be season where God is going to assign me to do it with other people.
Speaker 2:And I need you to understand that I'm not leaving you, I'm not moving off from you. Like you're growing to your person, I'm growing into my person, and so we have to understand like we grow with the growth. This is where the seasons are, and I feel like just to challenge you, like I think you got to figure out that way to communicate to someone, for example, for me. I'm a visionary, so when I'm in a room with people, I automatically start sharing with them what I see for them and things that I feel like they can do or they should be doing. Where I'm like man, I see you, man, hearing your words, man, I feel like you're. Yo, this is your ability, this is your skillset, this is your. So now, sometimes people and I've, and it's happened People sometimes treat me like some type of genie in a bottle, right, what do you see for me? Yeah, like hey. I've had people like hey, what do you see for me? They have, hey, what I'm like, what I don't know, I don't know. I see for you.
Speaker 1:I ain't your God, but they want you to tell them exactly what it is, so that they can just do that.
Speaker 2:So I recently had some people walk out and walk out of my life, and I think some of it was because of that, because I communicated to them so much of what I saw for them, what I saw for me, what I saw for us, where we're going, all those types of things, and when it didn't turn out the way they imagined it or the way I might've described it, or none of it worked out the way we dreamed of it.
Speaker 2:So it's almost like I let them down and I'm realizing I need to do a better job at whenever I'm sharing with someone and I'm using my skill set to cast visions or thoughts or dreams or ideas to give disclaimers of like, hey, I'm just sharing you what I see, but I'm not your God, I'm not the Holy spirit, I can't make this happen for you. You got to put in your own work and I'm also a human, I'm a man. My perception, my perspective might be off today. That's true. Like I'm saying, it could just be something like yo, how, as a leader, we have to work so hard to catch ourselves, to not allow people to box us in or trap us, or to see things happening right in front of us all at the same exact time and not to catch it and jump in front of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Yeah. So what is that? What you would describe as your biggest challenge in leadership? Nope, what's your biggest challenge? I ain't got none, Pierre. You said I ain't got one, which I will say disclaimer guys. Pierre's been in the leadership game a lot longer than me. That salon job was my first taste of leadership and then I've been in church leadership after that. But you've been in a leadership since you were like yeah, teenager 14.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my biggest struggle as a leader is seeing something for someone and trying to force them to see it for themselves.
Speaker 1:That's your biggest.
Speaker 2:That's the biggest one, seeing someone that has so much potential and they're making decisions going down certain pathways that I'm like man yo, if you could only see what.
Speaker 1:I see in you. You do that with me, or like you've had to learn to not do that even with me.
Speaker 2:But the struggle is like fighting for them to see it, yeah, and that I feel like what happens sometimes is they feel remorse, they feel bad that I've worked so hard to get them to see it. Sometimes they force themselves to see and ultimately they never saw it for themselves, yeah, which causes both of us to be frustrated with each other. I would say the second greatest struggle that I have as a manager or as a leader, as a pastor, as a director is, um, believing people, like when they show me that, like their real selves. So if they're incapable, if they're flaky, if they're always lagging, if they're always double booking, if they're not punctual and they keep doing it time after time after time and they showed me, even when they're explicitly saying this is who I am, yeah, it's me not giving up on them, which I think it's a strength and it's a weakness at the same time, because ultimately it forces me to start holding their weight for them and it makes us hold the whole team back.
Speaker 1:And that's been a struggle for me as a leader, cause I'm like yo.
Speaker 2:This person has proved time after time after time that they're not reliable, or time after time after time that they're inconsistent. Why will I not just let them go? I had this one guy that was on my team one time that I had to sit down twice and eventually I had to actually release him from my team Like, hey, man, you're off. And it's because I saw something for him more than he saw for himself and I worked really hard for him to see it, and once in a while he'd be able to hold it together, keep it together and it it together and it'd flare up. But it started trickling all throughout the team. This behavior, his behavior, there are certain things that he was doing that was going against our culture and it was affecting the rest of the team.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I tried to have these conversations with him, I'd find out he would still go behind my back and still act up.
Speaker 1:It's still, and I'd find out, he would still go behind my back and still act up. It's still, and I address it Hours talking to him, hours, days.
Speaker 2:And I would just always constantly sit him down once, walk him through it you need to pray, bro, you need to see God 30 days on the bench, come back. He would hold off for a few more months. We'd go through it all over again. Eventually, I finally had to sit him down and I realized like he's been doing something that he's shown to me from the first day. I mean, I'm talking about a two to three year process and I've always saw this, and so that's something that like I for me, as a leader, I really need to continue to manage, cause if I don't, the rest of my team would constantly be frustrated with me for not seeing something they already saw.
Speaker 2:If my team sees it before me. I'm doing something wrong.
Speaker 1:That's good. What are some things that you do as a leader that helps you see things before they come to be a problem point? Like you just said, if my team sees things before I do, I'm failing as a leader. So what are some things that you do as a leader that helps you, like, visually see or spiritually even see those things before they become a problem?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like to ask my team members throughout the week, like I do post checks, and I'll ask them you know, what was a highlight from this past week? Or I'll ask is did anything stick out to you this week, or did you notice anything this week that goes against our culture or that goes against what we're working towards? Because, at the end of the day, as a leader, as a coach, our captain, right A manager, I won't be able to see everything that's happening on the field. I won't be able to see everything that's happening on the court, especially when I'm in the game. So it's my job to find people on my team that I trust their judgment, but also prefacing it of like, hey, I'm not asking you to just tell me your feelings and things that you like. I need you to tell me what's working, what's not working. Right, we were talking about that a couple weeks ago, like when we met with our. We met with, like, the youth leaders a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 2:And we told them I'm like, if you guys see something that's not working, share it with us, not saying, just share stuff with me that you just don't like preferences.
Speaker 1:I feel like it's not your personality point.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm not asking for there is space for that. Like there, there are times when we're birthing something like, and I'm asking, like, like, what do you guys want to see Right? Like like, what'd you think about this? Like, did you like it Right? But ultimately, the feedback that I always want to hear is what's working and what's not working, and so for me, that allows me to keep a pulse on a team. I don't always get it right, I'm still working on it, but it's some buffers and for me, like, one of the greatest joys as a leader is when my team actually see something before me and they address it exactly the way that I would address it, and I'm like yo I have no notes.
Speaker 2:Like you, killed this. You made such a great decision. It allows me to keep rising above.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that is super helpful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think another thing that I struggle with in leadership is just it's what you call the line and the lamb like being soft and understanding, but then also like calling them and challenging them to raise to that moment and be like, okay, but can you push through?
Speaker 1:Like cause, I'm always more of an empath, I always want to be a caring leader that like cares about what's going on in their home If someone's sick or something happens. Like finding that balance of being understanding, being caring, but also like saying, hey, like this is your commitment, do you think that you can stick to your word? Can you make your word um dependable? Or does this kind of change how I can depend on you going in the future? Like finding that balance is it and I think that's the nurturing side of me, that's the mothering side of me, where I just want to be caring and kind and it's okay, don't worry, we'll figure it out. It's okay, cause that is important. But so is like, hey, does this change how I count on you going forward from this, because this makes me feel like I can't count on you as much, and so just kind of like finding that balance of being soft and strong at the same time is a challenge for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's interesting too, because I feel like it's the same way when it comes to parenting. It's so easy for us to just try to be our kids' friends, and we just want to be nice and want to let them have their way. We don't want them to be mad at us, we just want them. But we're actually letting them down when we're not teaching them accountability. It's very true. We're actually letting them down if we're not leading them how to manage their emotions.
Speaker 2:We're letting them down when we're not teaching them how to teach people how to treat them. Our son, right now, he he's I. I mean some might say he's getting bullied at school, but I don't think he's getting bullied at school. I think he's meeting. He's finally meeting his match Right At school, cause he's slick, he's tough, he always got something smart to say he's arrogant. He's arrogant. He's cocky talks trash.
Speaker 2:He likes to tease his friends, and now he got some friends in school that that matched them and they're overriding him and they're doing it stronger than he is and he's starting to go ahead and that little turtleneck is jumping down and he's scared and I'm like.
Speaker 2:I'm like, oh yo, so we're not going to change schools for reasons like that, we're not going to do anything like that, but we're going to teach you how to teach these kids how to treat you, and so this is how you respond back to it and then also teaching them like you reap what you sow. I know, for me as a leader, one of the biggest struggles I guess this is another big struggle because I mentioned two earlier but a big struggle for me as a leader is leading someone that's literally like me. The hardest person to earlier, but a big struggle for me as a leader is leading someone that's literally like me. The hardest person to lead is always going to be yourself, that's very true.
Speaker 2:Because it's the only person you can make excuses for. It's the only person that you'll cover up for.
Speaker 1:It's the only person that you'll like bend over backwards because you know where they're at.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know their motives. It's yourself. It's the hardest person to lead. It's yourself no-transcript yeah. Think about that.
Speaker 1:I just was realizing that you're saying both leading yourself and leading someone like you. You're saying both options.
Speaker 2:I'm saying both right. I'm saying both leading yourself right, talking yourself out of not hitting snooze, but you just define it. You just define it at the same exact time, or you're defending that person. You're defending yourself, like well, well, why are you talking in third person? Like yeah, he had to sleep? You're talking about yourself. Yeah, he was tired he had a long day. Yesterday we had a long day talking about yourself right now.
Speaker 2:That's trash bro and then, all of a sudden, you start leading someone else that's like you and you're looking right in the mirror. Why are you yawning right?
Speaker 1:now, guys, I tried to hide it and he called me out. Also, he left the AC on. I'm freezing.
Speaker 2:I did not leave the AC on. That's the fan.
Speaker 1:By the time we're done, it's going to be 54 degrees in this house.
Speaker 2:Relax man. We can't have them watching me sweating right here. All right, I guess second fall, let me say this early Third of all fourth of all he's just starting over.
Speaker 2:Yo, if you guys are liking these conversations, this conversation specifically, like, tell us what are some things that you guys are dealing with or struggling with as leaders, what are some tips and pointers that you guys may even have for us as you hear some of the stuff that we're talking about, things that we encounter. You know highs and lows. One question that I want us to answer right now is and I'm going to ask you this, babe, what is one of the greatest joys that you get in being a leader, Greatest joys?
Speaker 1:Greatest joys of being a leader. So I served as children's director for a year and a half and some of the greatest joys during that season was watching I mean the fruits of serving in that department, like in general watching children learn how to worship at church, growing in the relationship with Jesus. Like there were moments where I was leading worship for kids and I had 30 kids like singing so loud, hands raised like truly, truly worshiping, and those were some like incredible moments of wow, god, thank you for using me in this moment. Other greatest joys would be walking with young women and seeing them jump over hurdles that would keep them paralyzed before. So there are times I've talked with girls and worked through things when they're mental it was the mental game so often it would just absolutely jeopardize them and freeze them and they couldn't make moves. And when I saw them break through some of those thought processes that the enemy was using to tell them they weren't worth it, to tell them they weren't good enough, and and for all it took for me was to speak truth to them and to encourage them to make the word of God louder than what the enemy says to us, um, and watching it like break off of them and it didn't bother them anymore. Like that is.
Speaker 1:The greatest joy for me is to just see them sore and like really break through those challenges, and it's so humbling to to be like wow, god, thank you for using me, uh, in that person's life, thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak into them. Like that's a humbling moment, it's huge. And so those have been some of like the greatest joys of like, yeah, girl, you got this. Like you don't, you don't need me to be in your cheerleading corner anymore. There are moments where you needed me to be a cheerleader in your squad and I would cheer you on, but once you get, once you get over that hurdle, like watching them just kind of soars, it's so rewarding I'm just, it's overwhelming.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, do you what about?
Speaker 1:for you. What Like your greatest joys?
Speaker 2:My greatest joy is sitting right here next to you. Ooh, that was a good one, yeah, happy Valentine's day.
Speaker 1:Happy Valentine's day. It's early, I know I'm joking.
Speaker 2:Um, that was your gift, was a shout out on let's Dig the podcast.
Speaker 1:No'm playing. I've been looking at some stuff, oh I see it's on your mind.
Speaker 2:I'm excited.
Speaker 1:I have all I've been thinking about is our son's birthday is that weekend, so yeah, no, it's good, like, like you take cash, right, I do cash up.
Speaker 2:Um, um, no, I mean, it's, it's, it's been like really cool. I think, um, this is not just a joy, but I really want to just encourage us and people that are even listening right now, um, to really obsess over the purpose of why you're a leader. Um, a leader is not a task. A leader is not a title, right? A leader is an assignment. You have an opportunity to lead people through the mission.
Speaker 2:My job as a leader, for me, when I step into the room, it's not just to get things done. We will get things done. We will check things off the list, like we will accomplish the things that we came to do that day, but ultimately, like my goal is to help people find their purpose in God. My goal is to help someone fulfill a mission, not just a checklist off of positions, because I think the tasks, the things that we do, that we'll never find fulfillment in that unless we know why we are doing it. You know, I've watched you in the last year step into leadership roles. There are times where you didn't even know what you were doing or why you were there, and even today we had a conversation at breakfast. I'm like your purpose is not to just fulfill a policy or procedure or protocols, right, as people are literally looking to you to walk alongside them, and it's not even necessarily to even have answers.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Because I don't always have them.
Speaker 2:It's not to have answers, but it's to walk with them with a sound mind. It's to point them to the answer. And that's one of the greatest callings of being a leader. It's challenging because, like I said earlier, the hardest person to lead is always going to be yourself. Like everybody gets better when the leader gets better. You know what I mean, and so that's a hard challenge to take on personally, because there's some days you don't want to get better, or there's some days you don't want to put in the work to get better.
Speaker 2:You do want to get better, but it's the work. It's like all right, you're going to have to rebook.
Speaker 1:You're going to have to be disciplined.
Speaker 2:You're going to have to get on the podcast.
Speaker 1:You're going to have to be the first one to say I'm sorry. You're going to have to be the first one to accept responsibility. Everything rises and falls on leadership.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's not necessarily even just saying the word sorry is what you said, it's just owning the failure.
Speaker 1:Accepting the responsibility.
Speaker 2:Accepting it, being responsible and owning the mistakes. So if something didn't work out right, if something didn't go right, as a leader it's one of the hardest things to do, cause you put everything in it to make it go right.
Speaker 1:And it could still go wrong. And you have to say like, and it's. It's the humility thing too, of like, because once you get, if you're in a role and pride is all you're feeling, like, the Lord will humble you Like. Pride comes before a fall. That's Bible. So, knowing that, as you're sitting in a role of leadership, as long as you stay in humility and say hey, that was my bad. I truly tried my best, but I can see how it didn't come how I wanted it to. This wasn't the outcome I was looking for or that wasn't what I wanted you to hear. I'm sorry that that's what you heard in my words. That wasn't my intention. Like all those things, um it it just it makes you an incredible leader.
Speaker 1:I remember one time talking to a parent from our church and I was talking about um, there was a conflict and I said did you, did you apologize to that teenager. I said did you, did you apologize to that teenager? And the mom was very upset at the, at the very idea of apologizing. But I remember what it did to us in our relationship with our son. When we started to apologize and say I'm sorry, I got really upset and I shouldn't have done that, or I'm sorry that that happened. Um, I did that wrong and I could have done better. Even yesterday I took him to the dentist. I he's super afraid of the dentist and I downplayed the appointment. I thought it was going to be a very simple appointment and ended up being painful. And after the appointment, after we're in the car and no one is around, I looked at him and I was like hey, I want you to know that is not what I thought was going to happen today.
Speaker 1:I did not lie to you. I told you what I thought was going to happen and I'm sorry that that hurt today at the appointment. Are you okay? Like I want him to trust me, I want him to think I didn't want him to think that I was just downplaying it the whole time. And so all those things as leaders of like the humility, the humbleness, like it has to be the main character that you carry, and and knowing within the same hand, humility and like what God's placed inside of you, what he's called you to do, those things go to and to. You will be an incredible leader. Yeah, man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's it. That's all, folks. That's all we got for you guys today. Man, we've been having these conversations in our home every single day.
Speaker 1:It's all the time y'all. I wish y'all would know. Like he literally said, today was our breakfast and I was like this was part of our breakfast conversation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we just talked about the responsibilities that we carry as a leader and areas that we need to grow in, areas that we need to step it up in holding each other accountable, checking each other. Even now, there are things that we're listening to, things that we're watching podcasts, just like this conversations. I would encourage everyone that strives to be a better leader because we're all leading somebody. Even if you're not leading others, you're still leading yourself and everyone who has the desire to be a better leader, like, make the conscious decisions to seek God and God's wisdom and his guidance. Start getting into the proper books, start finding the right podcast, start finding the right people, but, more importantly, like, stop lying to yourself, you know, go easy on yourself. At the same time, we talk about this right Having relationships with ourselves. Leading ourselves is one of the most challenging things that you could do. But when you have God in your life, when you have the Holy Spirit leading you, holy Spirit opens up your heart so that you can see the truth, you can see the depth, and then that allows you to even find cleansing in your soul.
Speaker 2:Throughout those situations and for me as a leader, that helps me when I'm able to sit down and realize today I made a comment at the house that I said man, like you know, like I need to start doing this, this. I said I said a comment and I said you know what I take that back. I am starting. Remember I said that, like today, like I need to start stepping into that, I need to start stepping into that situation. That's what I said. And I said you know what, I take that back, I'm stepping into that situation.
Speaker 2:When we say I need to start, it's giving us, like, time to milk it. It's given us we're stalling, we're making excuses for like why we haven't done it yet, and we we start telling ourselves, like we're going to do it, I haven't started yet. Now tell yourself you're going to start it and find someone to hold you accountable.
Speaker 1:So that's all I really got to say All right, I'm going to end with these two scriptures that I had. One is man, we're like both like clearing our throats. Sorry guys, it's a great day of recording. Let's take the podcast.
Speaker 2:Right, let's record.
Speaker 1:Okay, these two scriptures I want to leave you with. The first one is James 1.5. If you need wisdom, ask our generous God and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. And so if you're in a leadership role, or maybe you're even under a leader that's really challenging you and maybe frustrating you, like asking the Lord for wisdom of how to approach the situation, asking the Lord for wisdom of how do you lead better? Um, they literally says he will give it to you. So that's James one five, and I want to just encourage that. And then, lastly, I want to end with this one it's a Galatians six nine. So let's not get tired of doing what is good at just the right time. We'll reap a harvest of blessing If we don't give up.
Speaker 1:Leadership is hard. Leadership literally pulls out the strengths and weaknesses of yourself and the gifts that God's given you, and it makes you see yourself in a different way. And we have to keep going. We have to keep doing the hard work, the discipline of what Pierre said, of listening to podcasts, reading the right books, finding the right mentors, doing the hard work to be a leader that can bring people closer to God and point them to him, I will not be a leader. I pray that I'll never be a leader that pushes people from God, but that I'm only a leader that leads people closer to a walk with Jesus, and so I just want to encourage you all with that scripture Don't grow weary in well-doing.
Speaker 1:Do the good work. You will reap a harvest, and most of the time, that harvest will be when you get in heaven and there are crowns in your or jewels in your crown, and that you led people to be closer to Jesus. So I that's it. I'm done. That was my two scriptures. I wouldn't encourage y'all. We love y'all. Thank you for joining this conversation. Don't forget to subscribe. Send this to someone you love and we'll see y.
