LET'S DIG | Pierre & Danilee Aristil
We're here to help you grow a deeper relationship with God, others and yourself.
Jesus said, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind… and... your neighbor as yourself.”
- Matthew 22:37-39
Life gets better when our relationships do.
Every Sunday at 2pm PST / 5pm EST we release a new conversation.
Jump in, subscribe and #LETSDIG!
LET'S DIG | Pierre & Danilee Aristil
Transforming Regret into Growth: Navigating Relationships with Wisdom and Grace
Have you ever found yourself haunted by past regrets that linger in the corners of your mind, affecting your relationships and personal growth? Today on Let's Dig the Podcast, we're tackling the heavy burden of regret and learning how to move forward with grace and intention. Through a tapestry of personal stories, including heartbreaking yet enlightening experiences, we explore how regrets, if confronted and understood, can transform our connections with ourselves and others. From the seemingly trivial to the profoundly impactful, our anecdotes reveal how moments of reflection can lead to healing and stronger relationships.
Discover the profound effects of self-awareness and forgiveness in nurturing enduring relationships. We delve into the complexities of past mistakes, like abruptly ending a friendship or the careless words that linger in long-term marriages, and how acknowledging these moments can pave the way to amends. In our conversations, we stress the necessity of understanding one's core values and identity to prevent future regrets, offering insights drawn from spiritual guidance and faith. This episode is a heartfelt call to act on convictions, seek wisdom, and foster deeper relationships formed through shared adversity.
Join us as we embrace the journey of navigating life's regrets and maturity. By reflecting on personal experiences and learning from trusted advisors, we can eliminate the harsh self-criticism that often accompanies regret. Engaging with our community, we aim to create a space where experiences are shared and wisdom is abundant. Your engagement is appreciated as we collectively strive towards a future unburdened by past mistakes, fostering growth and encouragement along the way.
Buzzsprout - Let's get your podcast launched!
Start for FREE
THE NEW LIFE COLLECTION IS HERE:
Shop Here 👉 https://letsdigthepodcast.myshopify.com/
____________________________________
STAY TUNED FOR ALL EPISODES HERE:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxNumgVDs3mAeIfVhq64qAQ?sub_confirmation=1
Use this link for all the ways to keep in touch:
http://linktr.ee/letsdigthepodcast
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
Pierre: https://www.instagram.com/pierrearistil/
Danilee: https://www.instagram.com/danileearistil/
If this episode resonated with you please be sure to leave a comment, subscribe, like or share it. Thank you for joining as we dig!
____________________________________
Would you like to be a blessing:
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/letsdig
Hey, what's up everybody? Welcome to let's Dig the Podcast. Today we're going to talk about how to have a thriving relationship through eliminating regrets, regrets.
Speaker 2:That was really good.
Speaker 1:I do know that regrets is a big part of life.
Speaker 2:It is.
Speaker 1:I think so many people are so hard on themselves, they beat themselves up, they're always looking back. They're never looking ahead. They're always looking back about how they could have done things differently. So today we're going to talk about regrets. I do know that if we can actually eliminate regrets from our relationships, life can be a lot better. True Right, we can focus on going forward. We could focus on healing versus going back to trying to repair. I heard a statement the other day Actually, I posted it too, but I heard like someone else say say every day, you are either repairing yesterday or preparing tomorrow. That's crazy.
Speaker 1:Repairing yesterday has to do with regrets. We're going to talk about that, but let's tell them why we're here first.
Speaker 2:We're here to help you grow a relationship with God, others and yourself. That's why, we call y'all the crew, the let's stay crew.
Speaker 1:So if you're looking forward to this conversation right now, you're watching right now on YouTube go ahead and hit that like button. We want to know if you're ready for today's conversation. If you're listening to this on Apple podcast, spotify, google, all the other places, go ahead and write us a review. Reviews are very helpful. Why? Because it tells other people that this podcast is really good and the algorithm is like yo, let's push this podcast out. That this podcast is really good and the algorithm is like yo, let's push this podcast out. Also, if you're watching this on YouTube, you can hit that little heart button too and send us a little bit of love. If this conversation has been blessing you our last conversation has been blessing you. Do not hesitate. Show some love, as we've been showing you guys some love. You already see this hoodie that I'm rocking to right now. So good, this is the new life collection hoodie. Go ahead and hit that link. It's right there on YouTube. It's everywhere. It's on our Shopify. It's 45 bucks right now. It's 45 bucks right now, so don't delay. Don't delay. The price may go up based off of demand. So this right here. That's what it says.
Speaker 1:The second Corinthians, chapter five, verse 17. This means that anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The old life is gone and the new life is here. You really want to see the back. You want to see the back. The back is actually the the, the hottest part it is of the hoodie, and it's dope too. It feels really good. It's heavy weight. It's heavy weight. It's oversized too for all the people that are. You know, this is a season where you're getting a little chunky, um chunky, you're to say like chili, chili.
Speaker 1:If you are getting chili or you're getting chunky this hoodie that's wild. But I'm ready to talk.
Speaker 2:All right, let's dig, let's dig, all right.
Speaker 2:So we're talking about regrets today and I I regret has so much weight to it Like they're heavy weight to it Like they're heavy and I know so many people have things that they've regretted, like for me, and since we talked about it a long time ago, there's episodes back we can link it. But one of the biggest regrets that I had in friendship was that I had a friend who her the father of her children. Her fiance was abusive emotionally. Her children, her fiance was abusive emotionally, but I never asked more than that I never pushed in.
Speaker 2:I never. I never kept asking questions and I've told you like she might've lied, she might've not told me the truth, but the fact that I have to live with the regret that I never asked and then that I ended up losing her to a murder, suicide. It has been a heavy weight for me to carry for two years and I know January will make it two years since she's been gone and I I know that it has changed my way of relationships with people. It has changed. It took away a lot of the fear of, like, being afraid to get too close in questions or get too much in somebody's business. It took that fear away. So now I literally have friends and I'm like, hey, this can be uncomfortable but are you doing this?
Speaker 2:Are you doing that? Is this happening? Are you safe? It completely changed how I function in friendships because I've been carrying that regret and I've had to let it go. Of course, but I know, I know regret affects so many people in different ways.
Speaker 1:It does. Um, regret is funny too, because, you know, most people don't realize in a moment that they're creating a memory of regret. You know, I say this when it comes to us, even as parents um, that every moment is a memory.
Speaker 2:Every moment is a memory, memory which is a terrifying concept to think about. Yeah, because think about heavy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because you're in a moment and it's happening right now. It's the present. You don't think it's nothing?
Speaker 2:yeah right.
Speaker 1:a couple gets into a fight in the moment. Whatever, they just go for the rest of the day. Later on there's something that happens, something that's tragic, and they get a call right. Somebody passes or someone's in accident or someone's been hurt, and right now their mind goes back to the last moment that they were with and regret starts to fill their heart, regret starts to fill their mind and I think moments are really big for us to really stop, learn and ponder and think, and that's what causes regrets, I know. For me, man, there's that one moment I was really hungry. I went to Taco Bell one night.
Speaker 1:That boy the next morning I was. You want to talk about regret.
Speaker 2:Regret.
Speaker 1:That moment went to Taco Bell and I got too much. I got that Chalupa Supreme, I got three of them.
Speaker 2:Every time we say the word regret. By the way, the meme like flashes in my head. Remember it went viral years ago and it was a person who had a tattoo that said no regerts because the person the tattoo artist, misspelled regrets, I like. Literally stays in my head all the time.
Speaker 1:You know what, man, I was thinking um, um, thinking about even parenting, right we, thinking about regrets. Um, I remember growing up, right, there were moments, uh, my parents, we had moments where my dad was working a lot or he was on a phone call, right, or there were moments where my mom wasn't giving us the attention that we wanted that moment, cause it was too many.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Right or there were moments where I shared with my mom wasn't giving us the attention that we wanted that moment because it was too many, yeah Right. Or there were moments where I shared with my mom a story, a big fight that happened between me and my siblings growing up, and my mom, you know, telling us like I don't remember that and a small moment that was for her was a big moment for me, even her even telling us stories of like man I, I regret, or it hurts my heart that I whooped y'all so much.
Speaker 1:She used to go in. I told you that story that one time of the tennis rackets, she was wild. She was wild and the toughest thing she'd make you go get the thing she's going to give you a whooping whip.
Speaker 2:Go get the switch.
Speaker 1:I know nowadays all the people are really nervous. They're like, oh my gosh, they're talking about whooping their kids Nowadays. Kids be like I'll sue you mom.
Speaker 2:They're like you can't whoop me, I'll sue you.
Speaker 1:It's like remember I told you that story, touch me and I'll sue. It's like what? That's how you talk to your mom. That's wild.
Speaker 2:Okay, so let's talk about some practicality things. What? Let's talk about some practicality things. What are some things that you do in your relationships, either with mine, with our kids, with friendships. What are some of the actual, like practical things that you implement in your relationships so that you don't have regret?
Speaker 1:Say that again. I wasn't listening to you.
Speaker 2:Bro, but all the crew is listening, just you are not.
Speaker 1:Everybody's straight listening. I regret eating that cheese and jalapeno, the tamales we just had right now Tamales. We did have tamales that thing is hot and I don't have no water. And what are you drinking right now?
Speaker 2:Well, like seltzer water.
Speaker 1:Yeah, see, nah I'm good man, you don't like the bubbles.
Speaker 2:Anyways, okay, I'm going to ask the question again you, what are some practical things that you implement in your relationships whether it's with me, with the kids, with your friendships that help you with not having regret?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it's what I just said. It's really just learning to understand the moment. It's. If I had to take a moment to have a outer body experience and actually stop and look at this moment five years from now, would I be satisfied with the moments that we created?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that tool of just putting things in perspective. Like, does this matter in five years? Yeah, like, if we're going to have a knockdown drag out fight, are we having it about something that doesn't matter in six months, two years, or is this something that will really, really impact us five years down the road? Okay, so then it's worth the big fight. But if it's not, then what are we doing? So, I love that perspective of it. I think it's really helpful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I wrote down some thoughts even in this topic right here. I think one of the biggest things that we as people make a mistake is we always have this what if? Mindset. It's like what if? What if? Remember how much that drives me crazy of just like the pretentious or the superficial or the fantasizing sometimes drives me crazy. Or the superficial or the fantasizing sometimes drives me crazy. It's like what if we and I think there is a fine line sometimes between like fantasizing and dreaming Right, like, if that makes sense. I think fantasizing sometimes could be like you're thinking of something that might be impossible or something that's not realistic or something that would never happen, right Right. Or it cannot even happen, it's not even possible. What if we were in space and we can just not have to have a space mask on and just be able to breathe the air out there?
Speaker 2:Nobody talks like that.
Speaker 1:But that's what I'm saying, like sometimes people, people spend their time Right Thinking about things that will not happen, thinking about stuff that doesn't matter, and losing out on the actual moment right there in front of you, and you're creating memories right there, like being very optimistic in this moment, right now. So even for us, there was times where we had holidays, where we didn't have money, right, and it's like man, what if we had bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. Yeah, what if we had this? And I'm like yo, we don't have that right now. So we need to be optimistic and use what we have right now versus and use what we have right now versus being paralyzed by dreaming and fantasizing of stuff that will never happen and you look back and regret that we didn't make the most out of the moment that we had.
Speaker 2:I think the biggest thing of what we're saying about regret is that it is actually what you choose with doing in the present that will affect you in the future.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like, so literally taking that moment of cause. There's no way to fix regret you have in the past. It's done, it is what it is. The only way that I can lessen my experience with regret is that I take every moment to be intentional so that in six months I don't have regret. You literally just have to pause everything. It's like what we said does it matter in five years? What is happening right now? Stop thinking of the what ifs what is happening, not what if and then by making those decisions it can lessen how often I run into regret.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know if I told you this story, which I may have told you this story so back when we were pursuing each other, liking each other, crushing on each other and we weren't officially dating.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Right, I think you know right.
Speaker 2:There was like two, three other girls, People are tripping out right now that you keep saying that. They're like what does she not know after being married for 15 years?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think you know, I think we just you know everything. So I'm like I'm sure you know all this. We've actually.
Speaker 2:Yes, you do know this because we've talked about this in previous episodes, but you keep saying that, so people are nervous about what you're about to drop on me, right?
Speaker 1:now, Is it people or is it you? I feel like you projecting Nah.
Speaker 2:I'm good.
Speaker 1:Okay, so I know.
Speaker 2:I know what you're about to say.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, which one of these girls that I like? Right, and I remember when I knew, okay, you were the one that I wanted to pursue, like one of the girls, cause it was kind of like contender head to head, like you guys were toe to toe, I was like man, which one? Which one? I don't know pros and cons.
Speaker 1:You know, anyways, when I knew that you were the one that I want to pursue, I just completely stopped calling that girl. Straight up went cold turkey, and in that moment it meant nothing, in that moment it was easy, in that moment it was just like okay, whatever. Fast forward years later, regret started to fill my heart, regret started to fill my mind and my emotions. I actually started feeling sympathy. I felt bad for that girl of just like, oh my, gosh what have I done?
Speaker 1:That's regret and I remember for a long season just always feeling and dealing with it Like yo. How do I fix this? How do I mend this? Every once in a while I'll go on her social media and I'm like man, I don't know, it doesn't look like she's doing it, I can't tell. But I remember one time finally calling her and saying like hey, if I ever done anything like, I want to say I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:I'm aware that that time we were talking like we were talking to each other and I just went straight cold turkey on you other and I just went straight cold turkey on you and it's been hurting me and crushing me this whole time with regret, cause I'm like yo, I would never want someone to do this to my kids and I didn't have kids at that time.
Speaker 1:But thinking about fast forwarding, like yo, a couple of years from now will I look back saying, like man, I wish I'd never did that, cause in that moment it felt like it was nothing and I think people need to learn how to stop and slow down and really think about their decisions that they're making of like years down the road. Will this affect this relationship? Am I scarring this person? Am I, in this moment, creating a deep memory that will scar them and in the moment you find out, a moment, it comes back to you as resurfaces back in your mind. Now you, you start dealing with like regret, like yo, I can't believe I did that, I can't believe I said that, I can't believe I treated someone like this. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:I think a lot of it too is just making sure that we know our values in our like I don't want to say the word truths, because that's so taboo but our values, our core values, our beliefs and like who we are, and not, um, lowering those, not losing those. A lot of times we get in relationships. Sometimes we will lose those things about us, um, and those come with a lot of regrets. You get into a relationship and you start letting those things kind of waver a little bit and then all of a sudden, you've been in a relationship for two years and you're like wait, I never wanted to be here. It's because you lost your values at the beginning of this relationship. You thought it was so worth it.
Speaker 2:You thought you were going to date this person and it was going to be worth everything.
Speaker 2:And two years down the road, you're like, man, these aren't my values, this isn't who I am, this isn't who I was raised to be. And now I'm sitting here with regret. But as you walk through life and you meet new people and you get into new circles, you start a new job, you go to a new church, like. Whatever that may look like, don't forget who you are and who your identity is in and what your values are and what matter to you, like. As soon as we lose them, we lose ourself, and I think that is a huge way to keep from having regret in relationships and in life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's big man, even for us in our relationship, um us being married for 14, going on 15 years, um knowing each other for what. I think 18 years ago we might have met 17, 17 or 18, 17 years we might have met January would make it 18, I believe, so weird. Um, yeah, I'm like yo. Why do we?
Speaker 2:we're not that old, we're not even.
Speaker 1:We're not even that old, we're not how did what?
Speaker 1:it's wild, um, but I know there were times where we've had conversations and even was arguing or fighting and there was regretful words that came out of our mouth. I remember there were times where we've had conversations and just in that moment, right pride kicks in to where you can just talk to your partner however you feel like you want to talk to them, and later on you have to figure out man, I have to go back and repair that or I have to go back and actually say sorry.
Speaker 1:And I think people really need to learn how to slow down. Like, really really think about, okay, my interactions with the people that I'm in relationship with, whether it's a coworker, whether it's my boss, whether it's my partner, whether it's my kids, siblings, like whatever it is. Like like man, like really slow down all the words that you saying right now. Do you feel like it's it's building this relationship? Do you feel like it's cultivating something that's strong, or do you feel like down the road you're gonna have to go back and repair?
Speaker 2:yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean I've said some stupid stuff in the last couple of years to people that I've had relationships with, where I've actually had to apologize. Yeah, Especially even growing up, bro, Like I was just that type of person that just like if I thought it, I said it. Yeah, and being immature, you kind of think like yeah, man, that's real man, People like that. But then you start realizing like yo, no, it's actually immature and you're ruining all of your relationships by just saying everything that you're thinking. Oof Lord, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:It can get you in so much trouble it can. And honestly, I feel like that can get you in trouble. What can get you out of trouble? A lot is asking questions.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like if you would just stop and ask a question, if you would stop and just say, actually I don't know, uh, what is that? Or why did that make you feel that way? Or how did that make you feel, uh, what did I do wrong? Um, how can I do that better next time? Like, if you just ask a freaking question, it'll get you really far in life. That's true, especially husbands. Just ask a question, y'all, but don't ask the one that you always ask.
Speaker 1:What's the one I always ask?
Speaker 2:Pierre asks what do you need from me? But he asks it like so quickly that I'm like I'm still mad at you, I'm not ready to like. It drives me crazy.
Speaker 1:It's a great question for relationships, but Well, yeah, I just I feel like you need something. I feel like you needed something.
Speaker 2:Sometimes usually I do, but I'm just not ready to resolve yet.
Speaker 1:Oh, you'd like to sit in it.
Speaker 2:I just have frustration. I feel like you say it too quickly, where I'm like wait, no, we're still fighting, I'm not ready to move on yet.
Speaker 1:Because to me I'm like I'm ready to move on. I'm ready, literally, to keep going ahead. And you know what happens to? What you do is you'll get mad at me and you'll stay mad at me, but I'm good, I already apologized and I moved on, and the next day we'd be in bed and you're trying to slide your little crusted feet under the sheets to kind of cuddle my feet, because you're like.
Speaker 1:My feet are not crusty, I know they're not crusty. He'd be sliding your little scary crusty feet under the sheet to try to tell me you're sorry. And then that's when I play hard to get, because I'm like nope, we're supposed to do this. Now you're trying to repair yesterday Now you're trying to repair.
Speaker 2:You're out of control.
Speaker 1:Bro, I'm reading another note. So another note, really, when it comes to eliminating regrets, is acting on your convictions. Acting on your convictions meaning like, if you know deep down inside that something's not right, if you know there's something that is happening that you know you should stand up for that, you should actually say something about it. And you don't, you're going to have regret, especially in your relationships. There's been times me and you, babe, I've had to like babe, I'm just going to have regret, especially in your relationships. There's been times me and you, babe, I've had to like babe, I'm just going to say this as your husband, like I'm, I'm, I'm I'm saying it in the most gentle, loving way. But if I don't say, I'm going to regret this and for me, I think, yo, if we're we're, if we're in a good relationship, you should honor and respect that. That I I'm like. I have a conviction right now in my heart that if, if I don't say something, I'm gonna be in a regretful state of mind, yeah, and I don't want to be that.
Speaker 1:I think procrastinating like so, like delaying your decisions, can sometimes lead to regret for missed opportunities say that again so delaying your decisions can sometimes lead to regret for missed opportunities, meaning you know what you're supposed to be doing. Yeah, you know what you should have said. You see it happening, the moment is right there in front of you and you delayed it, you pushed it off yeah and the opportunity is now gone yeah and what do you have that tomorrow?
Speaker 2:regret, regret. That's so true.
Speaker 1:Don't miss that window that window closes so fast and the whole day like man, it's like yo, it's like you get into a big fight like with somebody, and the next day, like man, like you're replaying the whole fight. You got all these punch lines all the things to say that dude is on the airplane, he's gone.
Speaker 1:He's in a whole, a whole nother country. He don't remember who you are anymore. You so mad at that person that honked at you and gave you a certain finger at the red light and you got. Man, I would have done this Next time. I'm going to roll down my window, I'm going to wait. I'm like, bro, it's gone, it's gone.
Speaker 2:The moment is gone.
Speaker 1:I'm making light of it. This is silly, right, it's a silly example, but I really do think in a lot of relationships there's a lot of people that miss opportunities to actually say something that they should be standing up for.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And it causes regret.
Speaker 2:I agree. I found this scripture, Proverbs 17, 17. A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for a time of adversity and I love that. It's like man, friends are friends and they're cool. But, like when you've gone through adversity with someone, it's a deeper relationship than just a friendship. It becomes family.
Speaker 2:It becomes like man. You know, you saw me, my weakness, you were there for me when I had a rough season or you walked with me through some dark stuff. And I mean those people. They're priceless in our life, especially because we don't live around any family. When I have friends that feel like family, I will do anything for them. I will be so thankful and sentimental and cry because I'm just so grateful that God has sent friends our way that have walked through so much with us that they actually became family.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's cool. What are some things that you guys really deal with in your life where you're really struggling with regret? What are some things that you have that you have not let go of yet, because I really do think that regret and I say it all the time it's a big cancer yeah like sometimes there's no cure for it. You know, like cancer right, allegedly there's no cure for it.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry you guys know me, I'm a conspiracy theorist and I'm like there's a lot of money that going to they can't find a cure for this thing. Um, it hurts me when I when we know people that are dealing with cancer, but this is not what this is about. This is about regret. Regret can be a cancer where there's no cure for it, and I do know that the biggest cure for it is Jesus.
Speaker 1:It's the Holy Spirit. It's God looking down on you, breathing on you, calling you daughter, calling you son, and he's not beating you up. I think people beat themselves up so hard, like our son. He's been dealing with that right now, like where he gets so mad at something that he's like oh I'm so stupid, or I can't never get it right, or I hate myself. I'm just like bro, stop talking to yourself like that. Because he regrets something that he did, or he's so hard on himself because he's like I should have known, or what if? Like daddy, how come? Like the other day, big old breakout in the car because he forgot something, and he's literally like hitting himself, beating himself up. And I'm having a son, it's okay, it's not a big deal, let it go, it's in the past, move forward.
Speaker 2:Focus on tomorrow.
Speaker 1:You do not want to fart on the rest of the day. Fart on the rest of the day, poop on the rest of the day, right Meaning.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Meaning you had one bad mistake Right. Screw the whole rest of the day. Yeah, screw my life, screw the future. I'm like no, you can still actually prepare for tomorrow and do better. Yeah, just if you're living on regret the whole time, time you're thinking about how you could have, should have and would have.
Speaker 2:A lot of that is layered in forgiveness too Forgiveness to the person, forgiveness to myself, forgiveness that yeah, I messed up, but I won't mess that up again and that's how I feel a lot about my friend. Like I messed up, I didn't get in her mess enough, I didn't ask the hard questions enough, but I will not do that again. I've had women come to me and share things with me and I do not hold back those answers because I will not lose another friend and have regret that I didn't ask enough questions or that.
Speaker 2:I didn't get in their business or I didn't want to imply that they were being hurt by their spouse. Nope, don't care. I do not care about that spouse, I care about my friend and I'll ask the hard questions. And so, like forgiving myself for and forgiving yourself for what you do have regret about, but just knowing like sometimes the last time has to be the last time, that's going to be the last time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, let's get the last note that I want to share. When it comes to you, how to have thriving relationships by eliminating regrets is seek wisdom.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like consult in trusted advisors, like discuss your decisions with your mentors, with your families, like with your friends who share your same value. Trusted advisors like discuss your decisions with your mentors, with your families, like with your friends who share your same value. Trusted advisors like people that you look to, people that you're like hey, I made a decision. Or hey, what do you think about this? I hey, what's your thoughts, what's your thought process?
Speaker 2:Only people that are ahead of you and where you want to be Like we've talked about that Like single people do not get to speak into my marriage. I do not ask them questions about what I should do or what I should Nope you don't get to speak.
Speaker 2:I'm only going to ask that of someone, even if it's another married person. If I don't like their marriage, I'm not asking them either. It's only someone that I look to, that they have something I would want or would want to build. Those are the people that I can ask those questions to.
Speaker 1:It's like getting advice from the people who have successfully made it or thrived in the area you want to thrive in. Everyone's not an expert in every category. Now I will say for us that are believers that are filled with the Holy Spirit, that Spirit of God does give us spiritual wisdom right and knowledge and understanding.
Speaker 1:Wisdom that passes, humanly understanding, and there's times that I know that god has put wisdom in me in a topic that I know nothing of. But it's like yo, how do I know this stuff? Right, because I know it's supernatural wisdom. So there's that right. The the the spiritual world has different type of laws, like if that makes sense, right here in the world we're like you'll find that person that has won in that category and learn from them, right? But in the spiritual world, right, the spirit of God can give us wisdom and understanding instantly, right away, that no man can teach. So there's that right.
Speaker 1:So there's using discernment when it comes to seeking wisdom, but in a practical, natural way. Like you said, if somebody is single, don't ask them what they think about your marriage, right. If someone is broke, don't ask them what you should do with your money, right. If someone don't have kids, don't ask them what you should do with your kids, right? If someone ain't got a job, don't ask them if you should quit your job or not. Of course they're going to say yes.
Speaker 1:Don't ask them Of course they're going to say, yes, they ain't got no job. It's probably the same person that ain't got no money, ain't married, ain't got no like all the above, totally you Like. So that's what I'm saying. So be intentional about the people that you seek wisdom in, so that you're not living a regretful life. Lastly, in this whole category of seeking wisdom, pray, learn to pray, and the second half of that is learn to reflect, or I call it meditate.
Speaker 2:But what does that mean? Because there's a lot of definitions for meditating.
Speaker 1:So also, I'm not talking about yoga and all this other weird stuff and seeking the stars and breathing the air and grounding yourself with the floor. Ain't talking about grounding yourself with the floor. I'm talking about seeking God and meditating on his word day and night. That's what the Bible says. So for us, when it comes time to making a decision, even our relationship, there's times's times. Yo, I see you panicking or you're anxious about something and I'm literally praying to god. God, give me wisdom right now on how to talk to my wife, because I don't know what time of the month it is right now. I don't know she's gonna be tripping, she's gonna flip on me right now listen listen what's fall.
Speaker 2:It's eve's fault, yall.
Speaker 1:Don't they have stuff for that?
Speaker 2:No, if they did, every marriage would be healthy and fine All right.
Speaker 1:All I'm saying is there has been times that I have regretted the way I approached you. Yeah, me too I approached you. All right, slow down, call off your dogs.
Speaker 2:I'm just joking. I have the same. I have done wrong as well. I the same.
Speaker 1:I have done wrong as well. I regret how I've approached you with lack of sensitivity and now that I've matured spiritually, whenever there's times where I see you acting up or flipping out or I see your eyes start twitching and she's about to come, for me. I'm not acting out and flipping out. I start praying. I said, Lord, I need you, Father, to be a hedge of protection around me right now. I command an army of angels to come and push back this woman Darkness.
Speaker 2:I am so done with you.
Speaker 1:What I'm saying is like people need to learn how to pray. If you learn how to pray, you learn how to seek God. There'll be times where you will not have to deal with regret. And then, lastly, learn how to meditate, learn how to reflect, learn how to stop and ponder and think about how you've made your decisions, think about the ripple effect of decisions that you've made. If people can learn how to meditate and literally stop we say it all the time bro, stop, just think about it. To our kids we say think, think, think, think about the decisions that you're making. It's a domino effect. Every time you get emotional, now you make emotional decisions and you can ruin the rest of your day because you're just out of your mind right now.
Speaker 2:So true, you know what I'm saying and you can poop on the rest of your day.
Speaker 1:Poop on the rest of your day.
Speaker 2:Also, loki. That was a really great tip of saying that you pray when you see me emotional, you pray that the Lord helps. You know how to respond to me.
Speaker 1:All the time I did last night Good.
Speaker 2:When last night.
Speaker 1:And this morning at the table.
Speaker 2:What are you?
Speaker 1:talking about this morning, right now, at the table, you was uh-huh. Yes, he's like Father God, help me. Help me, tame these lips right now.
Speaker 2:Good, I'm glad, I'm thankful.
Speaker 1:And we're both a work in progress and look at us. We good right now.
Speaker 2:We happy y'all. It was good. No, but it's true. It's growth on both sides. It's growth on me learning how to control my emotions. It's growth on you learning how to approach my emotions. And no, if there was a pill that could fix all of that like the world would be an easier place.
Speaker 1:If you guys know medication that they have for this, go ahead and drop in this chat, drop in this YouTube link.
Speaker 2:There's no pills.
Speaker 1:You guys are crazy, anyways.
Speaker 2:So we hope that this has been a healthy conversation, a thought provoking conversation, and that you really learn to think differently as you approach your relationships, as you approach life, and that you really learn to think differently as you approach your relationships as you approach life, and that you would slow down in those moments. Don't go so fast. Slow down and think about those things that we told you Does it matter in five years? Don't think about the what ifs, think about what is and all the other things that we said pray, we said meditate on God's word. All of these things will help alleviate regret in your life.
Speaker 2:Will regret still creep in? Of course, because that's part of maturity, right? There's some things that, even if we prayed, even if we did all of these things, as we mature, 10 years later, we're like man. We didn't know nothing and we could say that a lot about our marriage. So that is a part of life. But if we take these steps, regret can be less often, regret can be not as painful and if we forgive ourselves, we won't have to carry that weight long-term. So we love y'all. We hope you found this conversation helpful. Write us in our comments. We love hearing from you guys. So many people tell us oh, I love this episode. I love that. That really helped me.
Speaker 1:I'm just going through that.
Speaker 2:So write it underneath so that other people know that this conversation helped you and helped you grow. We love y'all. Thank you for being part of the crew. We'll see you next time, peace.
