LET'S DIG | Pierre & Danilee Aristil
We're here to help you grow a deeper relationship with God, others and yourself.
Jesus said, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind… and... your neighbor as yourself.”
- Matthew 22:37-39
Life gets better when our relationships do.
Every Sunday at 2pm PST / 5pm EST we release a new conversation.
Jump in, subscribe and #LETSDIG!
LET'S DIG | Pierre & Danilee Aristil
Questions We've Never Asked Before
Ever wondered how the battle between minimalism and a laid-back lifestyle unfolds in a household? Picture a lively debate over pretty boxes, where humor meets life's deeper connections. In this episode of "Let's Dig," we kick things off with a playful discussion about household dynamics, the joys of new acquisitions, and the unexpected spiritual triumphs that bring us closer to God and each other. We also extend a heartfelt welcome to the newest members of our "Let's Diggers" community, celebrating our shared journey and the growth of our family.
How well do you really know those closest to you? Join us for a lighthearted yet insightful challenge as we dive into a box of questions from "We Are Not Really Strangers," testing our knowledge of each other with a mix of beginner and intense queries. Alongside this fun exploration, we unveil our latest merchandise collection inspired by 2 Corinthians 5:17, designed to empower you to wear your faith with pride. As we ponder surprises for each other, we invite you to be part of this engaging conversation that blends humor, reflection, and inspiration.
What does it mean to embrace motherhood and identity in today's hectic world? We explore the possibility of a new venture focused on supporting families and new moms, recognizing our strengths and where God might be leading us. Through candid conversations about marriage, parenting, and balancing life's busy demands, we emphasize the importance of intentional relationships and spiritual foundations. From sharing the lessons learned in past relationships to nurturing strong partnerships, our goal is to inspire you to build connections that thrive and endure, all while keeping Jesus at the center. Join us as we continue to grow together in faith, family, and friendship.
Buzzsprout - Let's get your podcast launched!
Start for FREE
THE NEW LIFE COLLECTION IS HERE:
Shop Here 👉 https://letsdigthepodcast.myshopify.com/
____________________________________
STAY TUNED FOR ALL EPISODES HERE:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxNumgVDs3mAeIfVhq64qAQ?sub_confirmation=1
Use this link for all the ways to keep in touch:
http://linktr.ee/letsdigthepodcast
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
Pierre: https://www.instagram.com/pierrearistil/
Danilee: https://www.instagram.com/danileearistil/
If this episode resonated with you please be sure to leave a comment, subscribe, like or share it. Thank you for joining as we dig!
____________________________________
Would you like to be a blessing:
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/letsdig
Yo, what's up? Let's Dig crew, today we have a surprise for you. But before we get there, welcome to let's Dig the podcast. You guys already know why we're here. We're here to help you grow a deeper relationship with God, others and yourself. I'm here because we made it through. We made it through we made it through so many things, but mainly because God has brought us through it. That's true. And so you guys see this box here. Yes, this little box.
Speaker 2:It's one of my pretty boxes. Actually, I thought about it today and I was like see, this is why you should let me buy those pretty boxes at TJ Maxx.
Speaker 1:What do you do with this box stuff?
Speaker 2:Every time. So this holds my hair stuff. It's a hair company actually. That's where that pretty box is from. I feel like whenever we go to TJ Maxx or Marshalls and I see pretty boxes, you never let me get them. Because you asked me what are you going to use it for? And I'm like I don't know, I just need it. And then you say you don't need it if you don't know what you're going to use for. So if I would have those pretty boxes today, I would have had another pretty box to use for this episode.
Speaker 1:I feel like that's a valid question to ask you, babe, Like if you're going to get a box, what are you going to do with the box? You're like I don't know, I'm going to put stuff in it, yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm just going to find it.
Speaker 1:Yo, our 10-year-old son does that. Can I get this thing? What are you going to do? He asked me the other day can you buy me a desk? I'm like, what are you going to?
Speaker 2:put on it.
Speaker 1:He's like I could put like my hats on there. I said, you can hang up your hats too. I said keep trying so that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:You just need to let us have more fun, is what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:You guys already know I'm a minimalist.
Speaker 2:And he lives with people who are not minimalist.
Speaker 1:Straight up. Every time I see stuff go inside the house I say, guys, I see stuff came in the house, but I don't see nothing going out. The trash, the trash, the trash can is still empty.
Speaker 2:He legit will make us like if we bring home a shirt you won't make us. But you've really strongly encouraged us and you make the kids If they bring something home or we buy them something. Like if you get a new shirt, you have to throw one shirt out.
Speaker 1:I feel like that's valid.
Speaker 2:I mean it is a good practice. I just always like it anyways. So anyways welcome to all the new followers. We've had a lot of new followers lately and a lot of new crew, so that's super cool yeah, just in the last 30 days, 126 new subscribers to youtube, so I gotta look at the numbers.
Speaker 1:So shout out to all the new let's diggers, love you guys. Also shout out to all the other. Why is that so funny? Let's dig crew what up, what's up, what's up, love you guys. Um, and also for those of you that are just watching because you do not want to like or subscribe, because you don't want us to know that. You know that, you know what's going on. That's just weird.
Speaker 1:Just hit like hit subscribe, send us a little comment. It's totally fine, and so numbers always show that most people of you don't subscribe, and I'm not going to lie I do the same thing, that's true.
Speaker 2:Me too.
Speaker 1:My feed is covered up with a bunch of stuff that I actually I'm not really even subscribed to. That's true the moment you watch it. One time it's on your algorithm. I'm like why do I need to subscribe?
Speaker 2:Anyways, don ahead and subscribe right now. Hit a like. Do you like us or what? I think we need to talk about this box. Okay, so in this box we have some questions. It is from a company called we Are Not Strangers. I think, yeah, oh, we Are Not Really Strangers and it is really cool. They have three levels of questions, like going from like kind of beginner friendly to more intense level three. And so we're friendly to more intense level three, and so we're going to do some questions today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I like this because this really encourages us to show how much we really know each other.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And then sometimes even if our answers even match up. So we're going to do this, y'all ready. All right, let's dig All right so you guys there's all these colors in here. Oh, this is a nice little thank you for being okay. This is so random.
Speaker 2:I told you it was a random box. Bro, I don't understand actually it's not a random box. I really love this company. Shout out to eternal muse. They have the. My ladies know it's the sleep roller, the thing I sleep in to do my blowout. It listen, the girls know. And if eternal muse wants to sponsor me, I am down.
Speaker 1:That's crazy wait, hold up before we jump to this box. You guys see the t-shirt that dan, that dan is rocking right now. So that is our new life collection t-shirt. We got a hat too, matter of fact. Okay, I'm gonna pull up right now this is a surprise.
Speaker 2:Can I go right? Here's the surprise y'all here's the surprise.
Speaker 1:Um, so I don't know why, but why society basically made women never have pockets on them and force you guys to get bags.
Speaker 2:That is real. It's crazy. None of our stuff has pockets.
Speaker 1:I don't understand why women do not like, don't have pockets.
Speaker 2:And one of the happiest things that can ever happen to a dress is that the dress has pockets.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm actually a big fan of bags too, and so we're actually adding to the collection the new life tote bag Boom, boom, boom, check it out y'all. So this right here, boom, check it out right there.
Speaker 1:So this is the new life collection tote bag. I'm a big fan of bags, I love bags, and what I like about this tote bag is a lot of bags. Sometimes that are tote bags. They always have something just on one side and the other side is naked, so you always got to make sure the side that has something on it is showing.
Speaker 1:But we decided to put this right here. Boom that look right there. So here's what this means. I'm going to read it to you right now. It says this means anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The old life is gone, a new life has begun. This is 2 Corinthians 5, verse 17. This, right here, is a story of every single believer, everyone that believes in Jesus Christ. This is our story, so I want to encourage you. Go ahead and grab a bag, put your stuff in the bag, tell someone about what God has done for you in your life. We also have, a matter of fact, danley's shirt that she's wearing. Here's a shirt, too. The back of it has the same vibe which is really dope yeah.
Speaker 1:I love it Same thing. This is really cool. So that's what this really identifies. And so this t-shirt. We decided to really make the cross the biggest thing, because that's really what Jesus did for us. He took away our old and put the new in front of us. So we got a hat too as well. We just we dropped the hat too. The hat is really dope. Boom, boom, it's a dad hat. You guys already know I like my dad hats, bam, me too, dad hat. So dad hats has the same exact vibe. So go ahead and rep the let's Dig merch. The link is available in the descriptions everywhere. No-transcript is literally everywhere.
Speaker 2:How do you get around in this world? And when you're wearing this merch, guys, tag us. We want to see it. I walked into a girl's night the other night and one of the ladies was wearing our hat and I was like, oh my gosh, and it was so exciting. So if you got our merch, you know, post it, tag us. We want to see y'all rocking this stuff and using it to be a witness to people so okay, now you ready for the cards.
Speaker 1:Let's do it, let's do it okay, don't look, just pick one okay, like, even if I did look, I'm just gonna pick one, alright. So this card, this is level 3, this is reflection oh man, you're going right in.
Speaker 2:Level three is the hard ones. Well, not hard ones, but deep.
Speaker 1:Well, this says it's a wild card. So it says plan a surprise your partner would appreciate. Make it happen by the end of this month. Both players Dang. Now that we're doing this in front of let's Dig, I got to do it.
Speaker 2:I am very excited about that card. All right.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, you know what I actually got one. You're taking it. I'm going to do it.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:I'm going to take this challenge. This is a plan of surprise.
Speaker 2:The crew is going to ask you what you did.
Speaker 1:I need everybody to hold me accountable by the end of October. Surprised that your partner would appreciate make it happen by the end of this month. It's perfect because it's the top of october, right now. Yep, you got the whole month. Okay, hold up. I didn't finish reading. It says both players. Oh, that's you too, man. So you got playing something for me okay, deal all right, let's do it all right, man.
Speaker 2:Now we're gonna have to take the crew along with us tell them what we did. Okay, ready, this one's mine. Level three oh, if we started a business together, what would it be?
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:Something talking.
Speaker 1:Like a podcast.
Speaker 2:Maybe, but it's kind of been doing, done a lot.
Speaker 1:So, no, no podcast I think, if, if, if we had to start anything I mean most people would call it a business. I think, with everything that we've gone through, I would it would most likely be we'd launch a church which that's not in our heart.
Speaker 1:God has never put that in our heart. I know that God has called us to lead, and God has always called me to pastor, but it's never been my heart to actually launch something, start something, and so it's always been to just come alongside people. But I think if you and I were supposed to start something, I don't know, man, like what would it be? I mean, we make pretty good kids, man. We can make them babies and go ahead and see if we can.
Speaker 2:I was going to say something like along the lines of marriages or like families, like that's really important. I feel super passionate about moms, Like I was literally thinking today, like man, I have three new moms, that I need to get them plugged into something because they need other mom friends, and so I think that it would be something along those lines of like marriage, family, you know motherhood like that kind of a lane.
Speaker 1:Like you thinking like, like like mentorship, or you thinking like like counseling, like like what do?
Speaker 2:you know, I almost I don't know Maybe all of the above, or maybe it's like a seminar and it has like marriage things, mother things and family things. I don't know. I'm just literally like guys. This is the thing about these cards is it really makes you think about things Like we've never had this conversation about a business that we would start outside of the business that you're watching right now.
Speaker 1:I think let's be real, though, like we've just learned I mean the podcast we've been able to do, but naturally, like we just don't even work well together.
Speaker 2:That's true, and that's also part of why this is such a testimony of what God's done in our marriage, cause we are built very different. Um, and even this, like we've had to learn to like. Okay, I'm going to vocalize this, okay, I'm going to tell you this is how this makes me feel, or this is what I'm struggling when this happens, even in the podcast. It has been night and day from the last time that we did the podcast, night and day. Like this experience this time has been completely different, and that is how much God has healed us and made our marriage stronger. But, yeah, we are naturally built very different.
Speaker 1:Did you say you felt like you could start something for moms? Is that what you said?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know it's interesting, babe. I had a thought the other day and I don't know if I ever even asked you this question, but out of, you know, being a wife, out of being a friend, being a mother, an entrepreneur, a daughter, all those things, a hairdresser.
Speaker 2:I said a hater, yeah a hater, a hairdresser.
Speaker 1:I feel like you identify as a mom more than anything. I've noticed even when we do these recordings and we're sitting here and we're kind of just digging and talking.
Speaker 2:I talk a lot about being a mom.
Speaker 1:I hear you saying well, you know as a mom. Or said you know as a mom, you know for all my moms out there.
Speaker 2:I do. Like hmm, I feel very passionate about it. I think it is the hardest thing and the best thing that we do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, meaning like wait, like who are you talking about? We Moms? Oh gotcha. Or like women Well, that's what I'm saying. Like because you carry that weight so much. Yeah, like it almost sounds like any woman, whether they're a mom or not. It almost sounds like this is this is me projecting. I would think let's say I'm a woman who's not a mom. Right, it almost feels like that is the, the, everything that a woman should be able to become, which I'm not saying that's right or wrong.
Speaker 2:Right or like the moment, right now.
Speaker 1:you said just us or women. I said moms or women, Right.
Speaker 2:You know and I I get it. That's what you identify as like. I'm not.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying that you're witnessing a digging right now he is digging um, but I thought it was interesting.
Speaker 1:The other day I was like because, as I was, I cut up a lot of the shorts, like for our YouTube channel and I find I was like she says, as a mom, and you say moms, you know, and so I thought that was interesting because, like, I don't identify, I'm a a dad and I'm a great dad. I feel like it, I enjoy being a dad, like it's not a challenge for me. I actually enjoy raising the kids, I enjoy teaching them and reteaching them. I enjoy the challenges of scaring them and tricking them and playing them and just being there. I enjoy it. So but I wonder if, for you specifically, if that was the number one thing you couldn't wait to be just even as a child. Was it a wife or is it more of a, more of a mother? Is that the biggest thing? Or was that maybe the biggest challenge you've had to take on, you know, in your, in your whole life? Right now, I'm just curious why you naturally identify, as you'll say, you know, as a mom.
Speaker 2:And, to be honest, as you're saying this, I'm like I need to watch it because I do have that personality type where I latch on to finding my identity in the things that I do. It used to be like prior to when we went to therapy. My identity was a lot in our marriage and being your wife being a wife. And so I was a shadow spouse and like even just hearing you say this, I'm like, ooh, I need to be careful that my identity is not in being a mom.
Speaker 1:Cause there'll be a time where there's no more kids in this house, right.
Speaker 2:But I will say that motherhood has been the biggest challenge, the most surprising challenge. Like, I always wanted to be a mom and people would always tell me you're going to be the best mom. I'd put babies to sleep before I had any babies. Like, I was just that, that person that loved, like, oh, let me hold your baby, Even though I wasn't a mom. But people could see that just naturally in me and so people would like say that to me like, oh, my gosh, you're going to be such a good mom, you're gonna be such a good mom. And then, when I started to be a mom, I was like this stuff is freaking hard and there were times I hated it. Um, and so motherhood is, for me, one of the most surprising, hardest journeys I've been on. Um, it is so lonely but you never have time alone, which is the crazy thing. Like, you never get time alone but you feel so isolated, and so I think I just always want to be that friend. Why am I crying? So annoying?
Speaker 1:I was actually thinking the same thing, the exact words verbatimly, and I was just like maybe I won't say anything.
Speaker 2:Words verbatimly and I was just like maybe I won't say anything why is she crying so annoying? But I just always want to be that friend to people, like because it is hard and you think that you're doing something wrong or you don't know how to do it, and like just always want to be a good friend to those people, to those girls going through it for the first time and so, like thinking about those girls that just had babies, I'm like I literally am thinking like oh, I need to get them connected with other people so they ever have other mom friends, and like I feel that weight for them. So I think that's why I'm so passionate about it. But it is a good reminder of like hey, don't make that your identity. Like that's cause motherhood can be the hardest but it can be the easiest to feel that love.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and like that reward. Yeah, the feel the most accomplished. Yeah, feel like that's your purpose to life.
Speaker 2:Your pride and joy, like literally.
Speaker 1:Which, you know, I could understand it right For a woman to give birth to a child and bring someone into this world, you know. But I think there are some healthy lines that can be drawn when it comes to identifying as a mother. I know for me, as your husband, you know, if you only saw yourself as a mother and every time it's like as a mom, as a mom. That concerns me, because I know that there's going to be a certain time in our life where the kids won't be around and I would hate for you to be like you know to, to just go into depression mode or to feel like an empty nester or just feel like, well, life is done, or now that my kids are gone, there's nothing else to do.
Speaker 2:And I know myself enough to know, like, like I have a friend who is all home, stay at home mom, homeschool mom. Like teaches, cooks everything from scratch. Like is super mom and I even for her, like that is part of her identity, is part of who she is. I actually am not that person. Like I am not my healthiest when I'm only at home with kids, and like that's not me either. So, knowing I have desires, gifts, talents that are not just for home, they're outside home as well.
Speaker 2:So, it's just a really good like check.
Speaker 1:Right. It also has me thinking, I wonder if you identify as a mom, because that's the only area that you've never had to question or doubt or second guess. Or what did I get myself into? Or is this the right person? Did I marry the wrong person? Did I sign the wrong contract? Are we in the wrong situation? Did I put this money or the funds in this?
Speaker 1:I wonder if that's the one thing that you actually are proud to know. That, like no regrets, like you know, cause I know for me, um, um, I have different categories and in different seasons that will rise up to the top. There's seasons, I'll say, you know, for me as a musician, I'll say that, because that's seasons. I'll say, you know for me as a musician, I'll say that, right, because that's what I'm doing the most in that season, right. And there'll be other season, like you know, I'll say for me, as you know, as a husband, you know realizing that's where I've been emphasizing most of my time in that season, knowing that man leading you and coming alongside you as your support.
Speaker 1:And there's other seasons where it's kind of all the above, you know, as as a mentor, as a pastor, right you know, oh yeah, and then as a dad right, yeah like, you know what I mean yeah, like I'm just curious why I mean we can. I guess this is a whole nother conversation a whole nother episode.
Speaker 2:Let's go back to these.
Speaker 1:Let's go back to these.
Speaker 2:Let's go back to these cards, man man, that was just the first one, I know right?
Speaker 1:we well, we wasn't. This is not planned to, by the way, those conversations sure ain't alright.
Speaker 2:Level two that's why I started crying level two.
Speaker 1:Alright, um, what are you currently working through that I don't see, if anything ooh what are you currently working through that I don't see interesting very interesting process that like is it something that's internal, mental, is it spiritual? You know, deep down, is it more on the outside? Is it you know, are you?
Speaker 2:why are these so?
Speaker 1:heavy. Are you stashing money? Because you got some plans and I literally don't see it. I'm like where does money be going? No, no, honestly, what I'm working through right now is that I don't see, because I'll be seeing a lot too. So that's probably a question to answer.
Speaker 2:I was gonna say you probably do see this one because I've tried to like start being a little vocal about it. But it's just like your load, like where you serve at the church, is changing and it's a lot right now, and so I'm working through like sharing you in lack of better terms, like knowing that people need you, the church needs you, there's things that need your attention, people pull from you all the time. And like making sure that we keep healthy of we still get your attention. Like we still have time together. Like last week I said like, oh, maybe Monday morning we could just go do something. So like we made sure to take Monday slow and go to the gym together, come home, get ready, share a car, like those are kind of like things we do when we feel like things are really busy, like staying in the car together. So, man, I feel like I'm burying my soul in this episode.
Speaker 1:I don't know what's going on right now. I don't understand. This was supposed to be like a really fun, lighthearted conversation. I told you it wasn't going to be like fun and lighthearted.
Speaker 2:I'm like everything.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:Anyways, all that to say, I'm like trying to find the balance of not being needy. I'm like trying to find the balance of not being needy and like um uh, jealous of everybody else wanting your time, but also not like stuffing that down and like being resentful. So also making sure that I'm communicating that of like, hey, babe, on these weekends, like we really cause we have busy weeks and we have busy weekends, like that's just what our life is sometimes. And so when those times happen, where I mean Friday, saturday, sunday, last weekend, I felt like we were ships passing the whole weekend between your work and my work.
Speaker 2:It was just literally like you take the kids I leave, I take the kids, you leave. And it was a lot. And then we hit Monday. The ground's running and so I was like man, how do we like make sure that we take time to be intentional for me and you.
Speaker 1:So what do you need from me? To work on knowing that, to support that while you're working on that?
Speaker 2:Um, just like, maybe if we could like. That's why I said maybe if we could carve out a time like after those busy weekends, like Monday morning is breakfast for us or something. But then you don't want to start Mondays without going to the gym, like no, we can't, totally, we totally can't.
Speaker 1:I feel like everything is seasonal.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So the season that we're in, there's seasons where it's like are we going to the gym five days a week? This other season is three days a week, and so that's an easy adjustment. Even as you're sharing this in my head, I'm already processing and adjustments that I'm going to start making that I need to make in this current season, right now, cause every season doesn't last always. There's always a shift, and so the one that we just entered in it's like okay, there's a few changes and adjustments that we have to make. So if, like, top of the week, like Mondays, it's like, okay, I wake up at 5 am and by 6 am I'm in the gym.
Speaker 1:If this season I need to just be home with the kids, have a slow morning, get everybody up, those type of things like throw some pancakes, make some toast, like for the kids, get everybody to school, we all leave together, together we go grab breakfast and then then we split from there. For this season, we'll do it, matter of fact, y'all gonna hold us accountable, we're gonna do it. That's gonna be our new mondays, okay, okay, man, this I realize I didn't know you was gonna be going in like this it's your fault.
Speaker 2:You make the questions so deep. Okay, level one. What was the first thing that you noticed about me?
Speaker 1:that wasn't physical, the loud victorious trumpet sounding that came out of your mouth.
Speaker 2:I knew it was going to be the noise, the loudest things.
Speaker 1:I thought it was a siren in 2007 january and I was like what's? That noise and it was danny lee. I was like what is that turns out, it's a real person it was me yelling through the hallways yeah, so that's an easy question where'd you just put that card?
Speaker 2:I just put it on the bottom that's funny.
Speaker 1:You and I are very different. I'm like I thought you were putting them under there I'm creating a nice little pile right here on the side.
Speaker 2:That was an easy question that was easy that wasn't even now you're gonna ask another one and we're gonna find out right now.
Speaker 1:We're gonna find out. Go ahead and pull right here from this section, right here, all right. So this right, this right here, says can you guys read that this is level two. So it says what's the? What's the most important lesson a past relationship has taught you that you applied to ours? What is the most important lesson a past relationship has taught you that you applied to ours?
Speaker 2:I think, the most important lesson I learned from an old relationship was that the people that are around you, their opinions, matter. I was dating a person in college and I was 17, first of all. So I was young and very naive, and so I was dating them, thought I was going to marry them because I said so.
Speaker 1:You were in college. I was in college at 17. Yeah.
Speaker 2:But yeah, but I was 17. And so I was in college and I met this guy, started dating him I don't know why I said I thought he was the one. I guess he was just my first serious like boyfriend out of high school and thought I had to marry them. Long story short, he breaks up with me and after he broke up with me, everyone then told me oh, we didn't like him with you anyways. Oh, we didn't think he was good for you anyways. My parents, my parents, were vocal about it. They're like you're not marrying him. And I was vocal about it. They're like you're not marrying him. And I was frustrated about that. But yeah, all that to say. Like I felt so blindsided of like wait, all of you guys had opinions and never said anything to me. And then, when it came to you, I was very nervous of like what people thought because I picked such a bad one before. And then my mentor like-.
Speaker 1:Hold up, I'm a bad boy too.
Speaker 2:You're a jerk, go ahead. Yeah, so-.
Speaker 1:Continue.
Speaker 2:Continue. And then when my mentor, when I finally like talked to her about you and she was just, you know, very encouraging to date you, Actually she called me an idiot because I told you to try to stop calling me. So anyways, all that to say like I really really valued those people around me, specific people, not everybody in the whole world, but like important people in my life, my mentor, my best friend, like those people really mattered. My family, like those people, their, their opinions really really mattered to help me have a full circle, and that I wasn't love blind or whatever, and just thought, like everything is roses, Like I needed that opinion of a well-rounded view, of like is he a good pick? Is he a good choice?
Speaker 1:Cause. I remember when we like started feeling like there was something serious in between us, like you got scared Cause I had to go back to Florida and you was about to move back to Indiana and you told me to just stop calling you, you were just like you know what, let's just cut this, let's go ahead and just end this right now, just didn't want the heartbreak. And I was like well, no, like, let's just keep talking. We're long distance anyway. So if we don't like each other, just calls are just going to stop.
Speaker 2:You said it'll be easy to break up across the country.
Speaker 1:I'm like and we got, and we got limited text messaging.
Speaker 2:No FaceTime, y'all.
Speaker 1:No FaceTime. We didn't have unlimited, so after a while I'd be like sorry man, I'm over on my minutes.
Speaker 2:That's the one you're going to give me.
Speaker 1:I'm going to be like sorry I'm over on my minutes Because around that time I was spreading them between you and some other girls. But, we weren't really that serious yet. We just started feeling like there was Maybe that's another conversation. Anyways, let's do one more so we can go eat.
Speaker 2:I'm ready for lunch.
Speaker 1:Oh sounds good, I need you to go, I need. I love how you're like not looking like I looked absolutely. I was like level one. Let me grab a level one.
Speaker 2:You cheated. Straight cheated, All right go ahead Level three oh, okay.
Speaker 1:What do we have in this relationship?
Speaker 2:that you never thought was possible.
Speaker 1:Um, that's crazy To be continued. You can't cheater. I need you to read the question two times. Okay, have you not done trivia stuff Like come on, Think of.
Speaker 2:Okay, you ready.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:What do we have in this relationship that you never thought was possible? That's crazy Okay while you process that, I'm going to tell everybody let's take a look. These are we're Not not really strangers couple edition cards. A few of you listeners bought these after we did another episode of these. So shout out to we're not really strangers. I mean, if y'all want to give us a code, it'd be really great. I tried to get one y'all yeah, honestly, babe um something that what we have in our relationship that I never thought we'd have.
Speaker 1:There's nothing I can think of. I just I dream big and I have big visions and I'm very glasses, always have full and very optimistic person and I do believe that, like all, things are possible. But if I had to think of one thing, I never thought we'd get to the point where we can actually work together like this.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Cause there was a point in time, especially after we got married, like I was a choir director and you was a member in the alto section or soprano section, and like I'd be like sopranos, you guys are flat sopranos, sopranos, I need Sopranos, I need you to focus, hey. And then you'd come and try to talk to me off the side like you're my wife or something, and I'm like, oh, uh, sorry, one second Pause, ma'am, ma'am.
Speaker 2:Actually I told you that one time we were recording in our second bedroom, so in our first apartment, and I was the only Sopano and you're like sopranos, you're flat and you're being hard on me, and after the recording session I was like you should not be that mean, I'm your wife, you don't talk to me like that and I was like woman. You said I didn't talk to you like my wife. I talked to you like a soprano. That was flat. Fix your nose.
Speaker 1:Straight up and that's what I said. Like I'm not talking to my wife when I'm talking to you, I'm talking to a soprano section. Who's flat who's flat? But it is true, that was the start where I was like, yeah, we're not going to be able to work together anymore.
Speaker 2:But coming down 14 years later, here we are and that it was after our therapy and everything like it was really important for us to figure that out.
Speaker 1:It was. You know wild is. For several years I kept on saying we don't work well together, and you were in denial for years. You didn't want to talk about it. You thought every time I made that statement that means we need to throw in a towel and just not be married anymore.
Speaker 2:It sounded to me when you said we don't work well together. It sounded to me like but a marriage is work, so therefore we don't work well together.
Speaker 1:So you thought it was a one size fits all. So in general and I was talking about more in the setting of like a workplace because I was very compartmentalized, so it wasn't like one size fits all. When I said we don't work well together, I wasn't saying in general, so we don't work, we can't make kids. No, we work really, we work really good on making kids Work really good every single day. And not every single day, I would like every single day, but sometimes you'd be tired, you tired, you'd be tired. Nobody and no one's initiating.
Speaker 1:We didn't have a conversation I think we did have a conversation about initiating sex. We did um anyways, um, that was the one thing that I thought would never happen in our marriage, and we've been able to work it out. I remember it was you about four years ago. Um no, it wasn't even four years ago. It was when you was the children's director at church yeah and like I was in a role where I had to speak into your department and speak, into things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was hard.
Speaker 1:And like you just had a hard time just hearing from me. You always thought like like you almost treated me like I was your dad growing up.
Speaker 2:Well, and no, that was part of it, but part of it was I. I felt like you should have understood me more than anyone else in the room, or I felt like you should have understood me more than anyone else in the room, or I felt like you should have seen where I was coming from and, like most of the time, your opinions differed from mine, and so that was frustrating. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And that was frustrating to me because I'm like it goes back to the whole soprano section thing.
Speaker 1:It was like I'm not talking to my wife in that setting, I'm talking to the director of that department department that was really hard for me to see and understand and comprehend and I remember one time, over a year ago, closer to you, broke down and we're right here, right here in the dining room, and I said it and you finally realized, like you know what we just we just naturally don't work well together.
Speaker 1:And I'm like, thank you, now that we both agree, let's figure out how to work well together. And I'm like, thank you, now that we both agree, let's figure out how to work well together. That was the start of that Cause. I'm like, at the end of the day I was in his ring saying we don't work well together, he was like no, no, no, stop saying that. And the moment he was like you know what, by nature, like we don't work well together. We're oil and water, we're opposites when it comes to the workplace. Yeah, and that was the start of like thank you, now that we're on the same page, now we can actually move forward together. Yeah, and so that changed that, that changed our trajectory, that allowed us to honestly restart this podcast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's true, because I was like we ain't starting this podcast if we don't know how to talk together.
Speaker 2:We start fighting on this thing that's, and it's really important for us to be able to figure that out, and because we've seen so many of like the generation before us, so many whether it's our parents, like our pastors, like so many people in our lives of that older generation where, like they, just bury it.
Speaker 2:They don't work together. They stay completely separate. Sometimes they're sleeping in separate rooms, sometimes they're living separate lives, like they may still have the name of a marriage but they do not have that life of like connection, and so for us it was really important to be like. No, we have to figure this out so that we have a healthy like foundation and so that in 20 years we still sleep in the same bed and we still live life together and not separate like we just didn't want to end up like that yeah, and I'm I'm grateful to say like, after 14, going on 15 years of marriage, we still enjoy sleeping in same bed together.
Speaker 1:Um, we enjoy using the same covers. We both agreed on the temperature at night. We still snuggle. Those are like cuddling. Those are big things, man signs. Those are big things. Those are indicators if a marriage is on the trajectory of longevity and not endurance. Yeah, because I know there's some people that just endure each other. Well, we just got married and you know, we're christians and we believe that thou shall not have a divorce unless there's infidelity or death to death. Does a part all that to me? I'm like I don't want marriage to be a death sentence right and waiting for you to die, or something like that, why?
Speaker 1:I know I'm not. I'm not saying that, that's what I've ever done.
Speaker 2:I know just the way you said. I'm like that's crazy.
Speaker 1:I watch a lot of forensic files you sure do I watch a lot of forensic files. You sure do I watch a lot of forensic files. I watch a lot of First 48. I watch a lot of those, the detective stuff. As a matter of fact, I was like man, they better put me on this case because I can solve this thing. He did it, officer. She did it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:You're so silly. What I'm saying is like we're going to be married, let's work together in all areas. And so we've accomplished that, and it's still work. It's still a challenge every single day. Yesterday you called me on the phone and you've verbalized something to me. I was working on my sermon, but I also had several meetings, meeting with people all throughout the day, all throughout the day, and there was a point in time in the middle of the day. I called you because I know how much that matters to you. So two for two.
Speaker 2:It's meant a lot to me. The last I'm like what are you doing calling me during the day? Because I realized that it means a lot to me.
Speaker 1:That means a lot to you because, matter of fact, that's something else I thought we never had in marriage annoyed.
Speaker 2:What do you want? He would literally make me wait till we get home from the whole day to talk about the day he did not want to talk in the middle of the day.
Speaker 1:So now I'm fully aware of my season, that I'm in, and how much people need me and are pulling from me, and so it's my job to make sure that we stay connected, and so that's why I've been doing that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and those middle of the day conversations. I'm not going to lie. There are moments where they feel awkward. I'm like, what are you doing? Calling me? Because I call you to see what you're doing, but you don't call me. And so I'm like what do you call me for? Why are you calling me? But then, like when we get off the phone, that you took 10 minutes of space in your day to check in with me, like it literally feels like my boyfriend called me again.
Speaker 1:That's how it feels that's cool, and I think us verbalizing, like, what we want from each other, um, especially in the right tone, and the other one receiving it, that's an indicator that the marriage is in a good place too. So last night you called me, he hey, I know you've been with people all day long, but please finish working on your sermon, because you're going to be coming home late, the kids are going to already be in bed, and I want to make sure, like when you came home, that you did what you said you was going to do, and so I could have fought it. You know I could have all figured out and I said, okay, I will, yeah, and so I received it because I can tell that that really matters to you. And so I received it. And my hope and my prayer is that when it's reciprocated right, that you also know when I'm checking you, you receive it because I'm like it's all for the health of this relationship, right. So, anyways, that's all we got for today, guys.
Speaker 2:I don't know why I didn't know it was gonna go this deep.
Speaker 1:I didn't either.
Speaker 2:You cried and stuff twice anyways it was going to go this deep.
Speaker 1:I didn't either you cried and stuff.
Speaker 2:Twice.
Speaker 1:It was a good conversation.
Speaker 2:We love these cards. They're super helpful. Honestly, y'all we are a couple that prides ourselves in talking and digging and these cards have literally brought out conversations Y'all just watched it Conversations that we have not had before. They are questions that we had never naturally thought to have and they are so helpful for a relationship. So if y'all want those, uh, we can put the link in the description as well. Um, but we just really encourage you guys to dig and have these conversations, dig down to the roots of them. Those questions you asked me about why I always talk about as a mom, those identity questions like those are the ways to really make sure that you're building a relationship on a healthy foundation and, more than anything, that you build it on a foundation of having Jesus in the center of your relationship. So, whether that's your friendships, your marriages, your family relationships, your coworkers, like, having a base in the foundation is going to change all of it. So that's why we're here to help you grow a deeper relationship with God, others and yourself.
Speaker 1:Yep See y'all next time.
Speaker 2:Let's dig Peace.
