LET'S DIG | Pierre & Danilee Aristil
Pierre and Danilee Aristil let you in on their personal chats. Inspiring you to DIG deeper relationships with God, yourself and others.
Jesus said, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind… and equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself.”
- Matthew 22:37-39
Life gets better when our relationships do.
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LET'S DIG | Pierre & Danilee Aristil
Identifying Toxic Traits | Setting Boundaries and Building Godly Friendships
Why are healthy friendships so crucial in our lives? Drawing wisdom from the Bible, we spotlight the exemplary bond between David and Jonathan, demonstrating the values of loyalty, support, and mutual growth. Through personal anecdotes, we explore the joy of celebrating friends' successes and the importance of genuine reactions. We also confront the challenges of envy and the significance of sacrificial love, illustrating what it means to have a "ride or die" friendship that is equally yoked and grounded in godly values.
How do you set boundaries and confront toxic relationships effectively? We discuss the vital role of giving one's life to Jesus and the freedom it brings in prioritizing healthy, godly friendships. Hear our stories about standing up to toxic behavior and the necessity of confronting issues directly, even in long-term and family relationships. Lastly, we emphasize the importance of investing in friendships that align with God's purpose for us, encouraging listeners to surround themselves with supportive friends who uplift and inspire them to fulfill their mission. Don't miss this insightful episode that aims to foster relationships that bring out the best in you.
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What's up y'all? Thank you for joining the let's Dig podcast. Today we are diving into toxic friendships. But before we get there, if you have been following our episodes, if you've been enjoying these conversations, we want you to like that video, share it and subscribe Also on Apple and Spotify. Leave us your reviews, let us know that you are enjoying it. We want to hear back from you and we want to know that these conversations are adding value to your life. So let's jump into the toxic relationships and let's dig.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, but before we dig, I need to set up because toxic is such a taboo word or like a trigger word of like ew, you're so toxic, or that relationship is so toxic, like. I want to literally clear up some toxic traits. Somebody in the comments really got on me about not quoting my resources in another episode, so this resource is from Pinterest.
Speaker 2:There, you go.
Speaker 1:Actually it says oh, understanding the narc from maria I can't say her last name, so just so that person knows I quoted my resource.
Speaker 2:But anyways, this is toxic traits and I love that it clarifies why is that so important to you that you have to quote your resource?
Speaker 1:no, that person was saying it was in a different episode and they were like what context is this in? Where did it come from? It was the one about finances and they were like is this a church thing? Is this a national thing? Like they were kind of questioning the validity of the information I was giving.
Speaker 2:Oh gotcha. So now you feel like you have to, so I literally wrote them back and I said, okay, I'll do better next time.
Speaker 2:So I'm trying to do better this time, okay I, I got you I know you don't care what people think well, well, no, I care what people think. I just don't live by what people think. I think there's a big difference very good clarification. I care what people think. I just don't live by what people think. If we, if I made adjustments to my life based off of what every person thought in my life, I'd be upside down, sideways, left back.
Speaker 1:I was just trying to, I did understand where they were coming from of, like, what are you reading from? Where did that come from? So I was like okay, let me bring context.
Speaker 2:Like were they commenting to the whole long form video or a short that I don't remember. If they're commenting to a short, it's a short, all right, it's 45 seconds.
Speaker 1:You don't get to quote your resource in the short.
Speaker 2:Right, but in the long form. Yeah, there could be some times we can tell you where we get stuff from, like it's the Bible or we're reading an article.
Speaker 1:But sometimes some of the information where we get it from. Honestly, sometimes the graphics just on Pinterest are just so informational that that's where I like to go to just get bullet points of something and I'm going to say this too Like everything is recycled.
Speaker 2:So even if I told you where I got it from, we don't know where they got it from and where they got it from. Ain't nothing new under the sun, that's true.
Speaker 1:Okay, let me go into this. So I love that it says toxic traits are consistent characteristics and not something you do sometimes, which I think is very, very important to clarify. It's either something that you do all the time.
Speaker 2:it is you this is who you are that characterizes it as a toxic trait, not just sometimes you can be so selfish like that's not you being toxic right, it's like if I think about foods or drinks or something like that, if there's something inside of a drink that's toxic, it's not like oops, we accidentally put it in there, it's just in that drink. That's what that drink is.
Speaker 1:So like meaning, like toxic is I, literally I didn't, I didn't pick that one up.
Speaker 2:Meaning like it's not just something that's just in there by mistake, or you did it by accident, or just once in a while Are you saying? That toxic is basically it's part of your character.
Speaker 1:It's like what's actually inside. So I'm saying like a drink.
Speaker 2:So if there's certain drinks out there that has you know, you know the whole thing is going on around right, like right now, with like Celsius and stuff like that. There's something in it that's toxic, right, it's intentionally put in there, and it's toxicity, right, so it's their characteristic.
Speaker 1:It's the characteristic of Celsius to be toxic.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's their characteristic. It's the characteristic of Celsius to be toxic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that's what you're saying. That's what you're saying, like it's something that's that's an ingredient of them. Right, okay, now I got you. That was a great analogy.
Speaker 2:I just had to break it down to in a way that I could understand it in real life form. I didn't get that.
Speaker 1:Okay, or like I didn't get it at first, but now I'm with you, Okay. So here are some of those characteristics Ready, I'm just going to read some off Selfish, very critical of others. Lacks capacity for mental or emotional growth. Holds on to dysfunctional beliefs, even if it's hurting others and themselves. Yeah, self-absorbed. Inability to have empathy, sympathy or both. Manipulative, extremely needy, extreme lack of self-awareness. Close-minded it's only their viewpoint, nothing else. Disloyal, dishonest and can't be trusted. Controlling and obsessed with power. Jealous and always needs to be and have anything better than others. Inability to apologize and take accountability. Thinks the world revolves around them. Needs constant attention, always needs to be the center of attention. Will not accept no as an answer and does not respect boundaries. Overly focused on image and has superficial values. Holds a grudge, rages, is unable to process anger in a healthy manner and blames everything on everyone else. Racial values holds a grudge, rages, is unable to process anger in a healthy manner and blames everything on everyone else and has the tendency to see themselves as victims.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's a lot. First of all, if you got anybody like that in your life, you need to dump them, you need to get rid of them, like I'm not talking about just friendships, I mean, even if it's a coworker, right, I think some of us have. We have like our home lives and we have like our work lives, right, remember that one coworker that used to work with back in the days at a at a salon, and I knew Danny Lee was hanging out with somebody new at work because how you were coming home, I was like, why are you talking like this? And there's a few times like you even started using some profanity every once in a while. And I was just like, and it came to find out your work life that you had there was some toxic coworkers that you had. So I, it started to affect us and our lifestyle together.
Speaker 2:And I think there's a. I think it's happening so more now than ever before that people are compromising when it comes to their relationships. People are compromising when it comes to who they allow to speak into their life. And I know for me and for us, like we're very intentional now, Just right now. I just said the comment of just like I do care what people think, I just don't live by what people think.
Speaker 2:That's so important so we're very intentional about the people that we know that are toxic and the thing about toxicity like you might be a toxic person and you don't even know it. That is true. You don't even know that you're turning people against each other. Like you don't even know that. I saw just someone post the other day like in Proverbs right, where Solomon's talking about all these things that God hates. He talks about these people that are quick to gossip, people that are quick to plot evil plans, like you know what I mean. Yeah, but I just know. For us we're very intentional about okay, we're going to make sure we put ourselves around godly people, people that strive for goodness, people that actually are very intentional about having a repentful heart, or people that feel compassion in situations Like you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's true, you can really tell a person's ingredients per se by how they respond to certain situations, when they're wronged or when they see someone else doing something wrong, like they'll show you your true colors. You just have to be a character and judge it. But I think really, when you look at friendships, I always not rate them, but I always kind of judge them based on how do they make me feel when I'm done with that person. Like when I walk away from a two hour lunch with a friend, do I feel drained? Do I feel frustrated with my life? Like do I go home and I'm like, oh, my car's not good enough. This isn't good enough, my clothes, I need to go spend money.
Speaker 1:I need to go do this.
Speaker 2:Or do you feel encouraged, right? Do you feel inspired?
Speaker 1:Do I feel challenged of? Like man, I got to do better on this.
Speaker 2:You just had coffee with somebody this morning, right, and I can tell it was a good coffee date that you had with your friend, based off of just how you came home.
Speaker 1:Yeah it's very true. Or even like my relationship with your sister. I love her so much and she really is that person that challenges me and I challenge her. She challenged me in, uh, when your mom passed away. Actually, listen, our vocabulary was not glorifying the Lord. It was a stressful time, it was really a situation. And she was the one who was like, sis, we got to do better, let's do better. And I was like okay, we're going to do better. And then I saw her a different time and I was like sis, we got to do better. And she was like you're right, we got to do better. So like that is a healthy, godly friendship that pulls on each other, that calls each other out to do better and to be better. But if there's another friend that is just encouraging your bad behavior or just saying like girl, go ahead, do what you need to do, Go get drunk, go do whatever, no, sir.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you know what too, man, I think sometimes people feel like they owe some people in their lives, their relationship, so why you just can't get out of it. You're just like, well, I've been friends with that person since middle school or that person you know. They came in, they came through for me back when I was in a bad situation.
Speaker 1:I get it, but they changed they're not the right person to be in your life right now, or you changed or you changed.
Speaker 2:You grew up In a good way. Right, yeah, you went a different path in your life way and this person right now is not a good influence on your life. And I believe that, like, friendships are so important. I was just reading the other day, or I just had a scripture that I was reading, but I'm going to read something else real quick and I'm going to jump to this. So the Bible you guys know we are a Bible believing, bible based family. Right here, like it's how we run our lives, and the Bible talks about so many different types of friendships. Right, we know, like you guys know, king David right Before he was king, one of his best friends was the other king's son, jonathan. Right, they had a bond. Jonathan had his back, jonathan had compassion for him. Right, jonathan was trying to keep him alive, even when Jonathan's dad was trying to kill your friend, Like you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Look at that loyalty right and in the Bible like it's vital, it's a vital part of the human relationships. Yeah, it's a huge thing for us Like it talks about loyalty Right. We see stories in the Bible about loyalty, support, like a mutual growth. Like like that growth, mutual growth, Right, You're not envious when somebody else is doing better than you, Rightvious when somebody else is doing better than you.
Speaker 2:Right Like when someone else is doing better than you like, when you know, for me, as a musician, as a producer, things like that, I have colleagues of mine that you know, they'll, they'll, they. They won Grammys and I'm like yo and I haven't won one yet one day.
Speaker 1:But to me I'm like yo congrats, bro. You worked hard for this and you mean that genuinely you're not a hater on the inside. Be like man. They don't even deserve it. Yeah, like you're genuinely happy for them yeah.
Speaker 2:And how do you know when somebody's saying I'm gonna tell you right now, here's how you know when somebody's hating on you, especially if they're your friend in real person or in real life and they're your friends on social media, you know they're hating. Because when it's time for you to post something on social media celebrating something good in your life, if they look at it, if they open it up, if they read all the descriptions, look at all the comments, look at everybody, but will not hit double tap. They don't double tap.
Speaker 1:I went too loud in that moment, but it I don't understand yeah like, double tapping is free y'all, but it checks your heart yeah it tells you what's inside more than anything. So listen, we get the notifications so and so viewedand-so viewed. I see who's seeing, but I see who didn't double tap.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So to me, like I think, okay, this person, okay, if you didn't double tap to like it or love it, then you like you're opposite of that, then you're not a fan of it. Some might say, okay, it may not be as big as hate, but it just means, like, you dislike it something in their heart.
Speaker 1:But also I'm just going to be really transparent and say that I reacted way too much to that and I need to give that to the lord, because I was ready to fight somebody right there okay, it looks like I came up like off the couch like I was like up off the couch.
Speaker 1:The camera's not even the camera is not even panned far out to even catch your hand so I just want to be super transparent and say, guys, I noticed that that rose up into me too much and I need to take that to Jesus.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, that's crazy bro. So, yeah, man, like it's, look good, healthy relationships is vital for humans, for us, like when it comes to even the Bible even talks about sacrificial love as a key aspect of true friendship. True friendship, true relationships. Right, it's all. I'm gonna read it right here, man Boy, this thing right here, all right, so this is Jesus talking. Jesus says in the book of John, chapter 15, he says greater love has no one than this to lay down one's life for one's friend. Right, jesus speaks about this it's the ultimate act of love and sacrifice in the content when it comes to friend. Right, jesus speaks about this it's the ultimate act of love and sacrifice. And content when it comes to friendship. Right, it's underscoring the death of true friendship, like to know that you got somebody that's why I love the term like ride or die.
Speaker 1:You love that term.
Speaker 2:Yeah, ride or die, because it's just like bro you with me, like ride or die. Now here's the thing, man. I Bro you with me like ride or die. Now here's the thing, man, I'm only going to ride or die with you as if we are doing godly things, like if we ride or die into a ditch. Bye, buddy, go ahead and down to that ditch all by yourself. I ain't going to see you on the other side. I'm going to be over here. I'm not going to see you on the other side. But that's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2:Like ride or die, like to me, like for us, it's about being equally yoked. We talked about that in the last conversation, about us being binded together. I'm saying this right now if you guys got some toxic relationships someone that you're a friend, with someone that's even a sibling I got a few. I got one sibling that I might I'm not gonna go too deep into it, but me and the like, we're just not cool like that. Yeah, we just didn't see eye to eye. I saw how this sibling it was it's. I'm not going to say like whether it's a brother or whether it's a sister. Some of you guys that know me personally you already already.
Speaker 2:You already know. If you don't know, you don't want nothing to do with it. Right, even when you started coming around, I came in hard and I was just like, yeah, no, y'all not going to be cool. It is so true, y'all not going to be cool because you're toxic.
Speaker 1:Yep, you're toxic. You did that. That's really crazy.
Speaker 2:Just to think about that, I'm like dang that was. That was rough that was a rough situation.
Speaker 1:I had to do it, but you were literally protecting me.
Speaker 2:I had to do it, bro. Yeah, like I just felt like there was times where I just knew I saw this person. I'm like yo. If you're going to be coming home drunk, if you're going to be messing around with your friends and making bad decisions, right. If you're going to be stealing our parents' car, if you're going to be stealing money A lot of lying, dishonesty. I don't want that around me, period.
Speaker 1:Okay. So if we're talking about toxic relationships, friendships, and there are people listening that have identified that there are people in their life that have these traits they're not just every once in a while selfish, every once in a while a victim, but like consistently a victim, consistently um, consistently selfish, consistently manipulative. Like what do you say to those people? Like what is some? If I'm sitting there and I'm like man that is my friend, I've been friends with them for 15 years and I've realized I've let this person do this to me all this time, like what do I do now?
Speaker 2:Yeah, the first thing I would say is, first of all, give your life to Jesus.
Speaker 2:Meaning and I'm going to break that down real quick because some people might say, well, that was all spiritual. I'm going to break it down for you Give your life to Jesus, because when you give your life to Jesus, you realize you only owe one person your life and that's Christ. That's good, because he paid the ultimate price for us, the ultimate sacrifice for us, and because of that, nobody owes me nothing and I only owe one person something, and that's Christ and that's my life. And once I get to that point in my life, I don't owe anybody nothing, like I don't owe someone my friendship, like you know what I mean. So there's people like, if I know you're toxic and I don't want you in my life per se, speaking into my life and inspiring my life, like when I know you're toxic and I don't want you in my life per se, speaking into my life and inspiring my life, like when I see you I'll just say hi, I'll say hello, but I'm not going to be like, hey, how's it going, how's life, what's up? It's lying, it's true, because I really don't want to know, because I know what you're about to speak right now. And so to me I'm like, hey, hi, hello, good morning, that's it. I'm saying, hey, man, how was your weekend? No, no, no, no.
Speaker 2:I know what you're about to dump on me and what I would say to that person that feels like they have, they're in a toxic relationship and they want out. That's my first thing, man, like, literally, give your life to God, because when you give your life to God, you'll have compassion and you'll have love for that person, person. But you realize like you want to be in the same path with godly, righteous people. That's the first thing I would say. And the second thing I would say is, bro, honestly, confront it. Yeah, you have to Confront it, just confront. I've had you remember that one friend. I confronted this one time. I called him.
Speaker 1:Hold on, wait. You remember the one friend I confronted one time. There's so many like you're that kind of friend, but you remember. That reminds me which one are you talking about friend.
Speaker 2:So basically I'm gonna be very vague oh, yeah, yeah, I think I know you're all right.
Speaker 2:He called me into a gig, into an opportunity, and I came into the gig. I came into that organization yes, I know off of his word, yeah, right. And I started doing my thing there. I started helping out, started playing, I was doing my stuff as a musician. Well, the people there in that organization started treating me funny and I remember thinking like, why are they acting like this? Well, several months later fast forward one person in that organization pulled me aside and say yo, we didn't think that you were down to do this and down to do that. I was like where'd you guys hear that we're like. Well, that other person there's the guy that brought me in. He told me that. He told us that you guys are best friends and you guys are just alike.
Speaker 1:Everything is the same.
Speaker 2:You guys are the same and I remember thinking like no, we're not the same, right, like we're same as he as he's describing it. Yeah, like I'm my own self like we have different characteristics.
Speaker 1:We have different interests.
Speaker 2:we have different skill sets, different skills, different temp, like temperaments. Everything about us is very different. We do have a lot in common, but we we also have a lot of things that are different, right, and this is why they're treating me this way. Long story short, he had a bad reputation there. Yeah, he did not have a good reputation there, and his reputation was getting projected and dumped on me, right? I called him that night, wooee, and I called him that night, and I confront him.
Speaker 2:I was like hey bro, why am I here? What am I here? And I'm not going to tell you guys about what the argument, but this is, I'm just still answering your like, your question of just like you give your life to God. When you give your life to God, you realize that you owe anybody. You know you owe no one, nothing except God, and so that lets you know that I'm only binded to one person and that's God. And the second thing is you confront that person, man. Yeah, you have to.
Speaker 1:Listen I was telling you about. So I am a hairstylist, I do weddings, brides, all the time. And I was telling you. I was talking to a bride the other day. It was not one of my brides, and she was talking about how she had a maid of honor that was just copying everything she was doing. The maid of honor was getting her hair done like her. The maid of honor was going to wear shoes like the bride. There was like all these things that I'm like oh my gosh, these are like huge no-nos in the wedding world. You don't do that. And the bride kept saying I just need your advice, just need your advice. And me and this other stylist were like we told you our advice, you just don't want to do it.
Speaker 1:And it was a and it was actually heartbreaking because it was a 30 something year old woman getting married and feeling so stressed out because of this. One toxic person was her maid of honor and she would not stand up for herself, she would not confront it. And it was heartbreaking because it's like man, if you're in your thirties and you're not ready to stand up for yourself, when do you like you're just going to be trampled on forever? And they had been friends since middle school and so at that point I think she just felt like she owed her this thing and I'm like she's ruining your whole experience of getting married. She's going to ruin the day because you're going to be so annoyed with her.
Speaker 1:And I will say, as a bridal stylist there's always one bridesmaid that is the most pickiest, the most difficult to please. Typically it's a wild card. They're actually usually the prettiest and at the same time the most insecure. It is like copy and paste on so many of my weddings. It's crazy. As soon as they start nitpicking I'm like, oh, you're the one.
Speaker 1:I don't say that to them, but in my head I'm like, oh, she's it and she can be the most beautiful one of the whole group, but she's so insecure. And of the whole group, but she's so insecure. And it's those toxic people that like, if you don't call them out on it, they're going to keep doing that behavior over and over and over again. And it really like and I say this as someone who struggles with like setting boundaries, being very like blunt with people like I'm not good at that, but I have learned in my thirties that like no one else is going to do it for me, and if I do not think that I'm worth doing it for, then I'm just going to be trampled on. So it's gotten to the point where I'm like again someone at work at the salon talked trash about me and I texted Pierre and I was like what do I do? And he was like you confront them, you treat people how to treat you. No, that's not what.
Speaker 1:I said no you teach people I said it wrong you teach people how to treat you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, danny Lee called me, was like hey, I need your help. I just found out that one of my coworkers is talking trash about me, but she's also the same coworker that's in your face, loving you, acting like you guys are best friends, all this stuff and you accidentally, or maybe you saw a message from somebody else that she was texting someone else about you, about you.
Speaker 1:She was texting a coworker about me and the coworker had shown the phone to me and a client and we saw the text message pop up, and it was trash about me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so this message just pops up here at the top and Danny Lee reads it on the phone. My body was so hot and she's like I just caught a coworker talking about me and the first thing I tell to Danny Lee is you teach her how to treat you. And some people are like they're like okay, what does that mean? You teach her how to treat you. You mean like you're not going to treat me like that. So you confronted her.
Speaker 1:I did confront and I and and I said hey, like I'm cool, if you don't like me, I have no problem with that, I understand. If you don't like the way I am with clients or whatever, you don't like it, I'll get. I'm not everybody's cup of tea and that's fine, I said. But what I'm not okay with is you acting like you're friends and you're cool with me and you're in my face that I'm not cool with. And then you talk trash about my back. I was like so just be clear, it's one way or the other. And that was eight months ago. That girl is still me and her still cool, like she even said a few days ago I was texting her and she was like no, I have a lot of respect for you, like I know we had a rocky start, but I have a lot of respect for you. And I was like hey, I'm so grateful, thank you so much, cause she was kind of like giving some people my number to call me for weddings.
Speaker 2:And I was like thank you so much. And here's what's so crazy about what you just shared. Right now is here you are in a work setting. A coworker is talking trash about you. She's not a believer, but you're a believer. And Jesus said people will know that you belong to me based off of how you love them, when you love them. And so you confronted her right Cause. True confrontation, man, especially when it's done in a godly matter. There's only good fruit that's produced from that.
Speaker 1:So true, but I know that that was one of the biggest hurdles I had to get over, and it may not be for everyone, but that confrontation is so scary because you just don't know how it's going to play out and in my head I explode. I'm an explosive person inside, I'm a fighter and a crier. So in my head I just remembered another one. But in my head I'm like I'm going to act a fool, I'm going to be out of control, so then I don't confront it all. So, grown like getting a little bit more mature and realizing I can control my emotions, I can do this, I can put my words together and knowing where you better do it now or you're going to miss the moment Like that's also super important and here's the cool thing about what you did now is on the back end is now you saw that she can respect you.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because she knows what she sees on the front end is absolutely what's happening on the back end. Because you confronted her on the front. It's only good fruit that comes out of that, and everybody wants a real friend. That is confrontational, especially when it's done in the right way. Now she knows yo, danny Lee's the real deal.
Speaker 1:Danny Lee's the real person right, because then I came in the next time and I treated her the same way.
Speaker 2:So there you go, like okay we're going to be cool.
Speaker 1:We're going to be cool. I can be cool with you if you're going to be cool with me there you go.
Speaker 2:So now it goes back to what I was talking about earlier, right Proverbs. It talks about how, as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. So, good friends, we challenge each other. We're supposed to improve each other right through constructive interactions. Man, get out of that toxic relationship, bro, and find yourself godly relationships. Your life will change. Man, If you want a better job, you want a better situation, you want a new environment, like, get out of those relationships that's hurting you.
Speaker 1:And I promise you, man, your life will go to a whole nother level. That's all I got to say about it. I want to say one more thing. I remember the first time I got into a confrontation and it was actually with one of the people you were talking about and we were like, kind of going at it confrontationally, we're like, no, I did this. And then you did this. And they were like, no, this is what happened. And I was like, no, that's not what happened. So we're going back and forth, right. And I came back and you said, are you okay? And I said, babe, I didn't cry, you're a big girl.
Speaker 1:I was so proud of myself that I controlled my emotions. And that's back in that toxic trait too, of where it's everyone else's fault and you're always pointing at someone else. Like growing up is realizing that actually you can control your emotions, you can control your behavior and you can control your environment, your friendships. So if there's toxic relationships around you, it's actually no one else's fault but yours, like it is on you to change that. Once you identify that no one else is going to say, hey, that friend is toxic, so I'm going to take them out of your life. For you that's not going to happen. You actually have to realize that it is only on you to say, nope, this is my boundary, this is because I'm valuable and I deserve this peace or this healthy relationship or this unhealthy relationship to get out.
Speaker 1:And once you get rid of an unhealthy relationship, that means you're making space for a healthy friendship. And so I just think, like, once you realize that you really are in control of those things in your life more than anyone else, god is in control, but it's my job to create those boundaries and to you have to put in the work. No one else will do it for you, and so that is where I just have really grown in those seasons and I'm really grateful because then I can see the fruit. It's what you're talking about the fruit of a godly, healthy friendship that builds me up, that cheers me on, that shows me weaknesses or says hey, sis, you better watch that. Don't do that. You know like that is what I want in my life, because time is precious. I don't have time to sit with someone who's just sucking the life out of me or draining everything out of me once, all my wisdom and my feedback, but then they don't do nothing with it. My time is too valuable. You don't get that.
Speaker 2:Bro, it's the classic saying of show me your friends and I'll show you your future. That's true Proverbs 17,. I'm going to read this. It says a friend loves at all times and a brother is born for a time of adversity. So if you guys want it, you guys want the friends. Ask. Jesus said ask and you shall receive. Pray to God right now. Say God, send me the right people. God removed the people out of my life. We've had to remove people out of our lives through prayer. We've prayed people out of our lives and we are grateful for that.
Speaker 2:You guys can pray. Put it in God's hand, man, and he'll put the right people alongside you to pursue and to accomplish the mission.
Speaker 1:All right, that's it. Toxic friendships Cut them out, y'all.
Speaker 2:Get rid of them and replace them with godly friendships, godly relationships. That's true, let's dig. Wait, we got to tell them to subscribe.
Speaker 1:Oh, you're done. I did at the beginning.
Speaker 2:Oh, my bad, I wasn't listening.
Speaker 1:Oh my goodness, he really wasn't, guys. He was really struggling at the beginning. I was struggling. It took a while to get.
