LET'S DIG | Pierre & Danilee Aristil
Pierre and Danilee Aristil let you in on their personal chats. Inspiring you to DIG deeper relationships with God, yourself and others.
Jesus said, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind… and equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself.”
- Matthew 22:37-39
Life gets better when our relationships do.
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LET'S DIG | Pierre & Danilee Aristil
Finding 'The One': Navigating Love and Dating in a Changing World
Stroll with us down memory lane as we contemplate the seismic shift in the dating world over the last decade and a half. Together, we express gratitude for the simplicity of our own dating histories, untouched by the complexities of modern matchmaking tools like filters and ever-evolving social norms. The discussion turns personal as we highlight the necessity of vulnerability and the courage to uphold our non-negotiable standards, such as shared faith, while navigating the search for a partner who supports our dreams and ambitions. Our conversation invites you to consider the impact of these digital and social transformations on your own romantic encounters.
To wrap up, we tackle the intricate dance of dating with intention, stressing the need for honesty and the wisdom of not settling for less than what you're worth. We reflect on the valuable lessons learned from past loves, the importance of closure, and the power of knowing when to walk away. Tune in for an episode that's not just about finding love but also about the self-discovery and personal growth that comes from recognizing your own value and what you truly deserve in a relationship.
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So I would have never thought you were going to be the last girl I dated.
Speaker 2:The last one.
Speaker 1:I honestly thought my last girlfriend before you was the one. I had no idea, babe, that, like when I met you, even when we started crushing on each other, liking each other, yeah, I didn't think that you were the one, there were other ones.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I never. I didn't think that at the beginning with you either.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Huh, but I did think the person I dated before you was the one I actually talked about marrying that person. Mind you, I met them when I was like 17 bro, so my but my parents would not even have the conversation with me.
Speaker 1:They're like no, you're not marrying him my ex-girlfriend's dad pulled me aside and was like, let's talk about getting you a ring for my girl so you can marry her.
Speaker 2:That's so crazy to me. Remember that I forgot about that. Yeah, I forgot about that I honestly thought she was the one.
Speaker 1:I loved her, cared for her, and I was ready to marry her, especially if her dad was going to buy the ring too.
Speaker 2:I mean that right there, my dad didn't give you that offer.
Speaker 1:No, your dad did not give me that offer. That didn't come part of the package. Matter of fact, the day the wedding day, he came to me and pulled me aside. Hey, she's yours. No, gives no givesy backsies.
Speaker 2:My dad did tell you that. Yeah, he was like you. Can't give her back, she's yours. Because he knew what you're signing up for. Yeah, you knew what you're signing up for too, did I? You did. You knew you literally when we were doing love languages. Before we got married, you called me like a golden retriever because I needed all seven of the five love languages.
Speaker 1:There's seven. No, that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Like that's what you would say. I need even more than the five.
Speaker 1:You know what I was signing up for, babe. I was signing up for the commitment to have a lifetime companionship. I was ready to commit to somebody. That's what I was signing up for. I wasn't signing up for Cloud9. I wasn't signing up for Goo Goo Gaga. I wasn't signing up for Baby Mama.
Speaker 1:I was signing up for the highest level commitment on this earth is to actually come in covenant with someone and say hey and marry me Right, yeah, but the wild thing is, is this topic right here is like dating, looking for the one, because every single, most, most people and I'm not going to say everybody, but most people who are dating, they're looking for that person.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think a lot of times that is the motive behind dating it is companionship, but it is to end in the ultimate agreement, the ultimate promise of covenant, and I remember dating someone in high school. It was like at the end of high school.
Speaker 1:Can we pause and just go on record and say how many people did you date? I don't. What's the number to that? What's so funny? I?
Speaker 2:don't really know. I don't really know.
Speaker 1:Are we single digits, double digits, like where we?
Speaker 2:at. I think we're Maybe double.
Speaker 1:Maybe double. Are you going back to kindergarten or I? Maybe double, maybe double.
Speaker 2:Are you going back to kindergarten, or I had a lot of. I mean, I had a boyfriend, so like my Every grade. Huh, yeah, every grade.
Speaker 1:Oh, you didn't know. I was going to ask you these questions.
Speaker 2:I kissed a boy in kindergarten.
Speaker 1:That's crazy. That would be Brooklyn next year If I find out that our little five-year-old girl, Brooklyn, is kissing somebody. I'm killing somebody.
Speaker 2:I wonder if my dad knew that when I kissed that boy in kindergarten the same year, she kissed somebody is the same year.
Speaker 1:Daddy killed somebody.
Speaker 2:I remember my sixth grade boyfriend broke up with me. I thought I was going to marry him and I was devastated when he broke up with me and my dad was, like there's so many more guys? I'm like, no, there's not. The crazy thing is that boy broke up with me in sixth grade.
Speaker 1:The next girl he dated like a month later was the one he married Wild, and you weren't the one. I wasn't the one.
Speaker 2:I was the one that got away. But all to say, in all the boys that I have dated, there were a lot of times where I knew it wasn't going to go anywhere and so I was just hanging out. But there were other times where I was like, ooh, this could get really serious and I know it's still not going to work out.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:There was a guy that I dated that wanted to be in the Navy for like his career and I knew I wasn't signing up for a military wife and a military family.
Speaker 1:But you signed up to marry a pastor.
Speaker 2:That I did that's wild. And a musician. It's also wild how much people that we date or like specifically for girls, how much the guys we date, reflect our dads.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That is wild.
Speaker 1:That is crazy. It is very. We're not going to talk about that.
Speaker 2:It's like we're not gonna talk about it. We're not gonna. Are we gonna talk about daddy issues in this? No, we're not talking about daddy issues, but I'm just saying, like how we unknowingly look for those characteristics or we're drawn to those characteristics and then we don't even know it. We find out later and we're like crap, he is like my dad yeah, that's why.
Speaker 1:so my, my ex-girlfriend in my head she was the one and like I read this book when I was in high school, which, by the way, was super like controversial. Actually the dude that wrote the book kind of got like excommunicated from like the church. Many years later, everybody's hating on him and he actually takes the book back and says like, yeah, I don't know about this book anymore. There was this book that's called I Kiss Dating Goodbye.
Speaker 2:I knew that's exactly the one you're going to talk about. You know what book I'm talking about.
Speaker 1:So I got a hold of that book when I was a teen. I was like, yeah, this is it, this is it. But then everybody's getting. He's getting all this heat all these years later and even he calls, comes back saying, yeah, actually.
Speaker 2:Don't do that.
Speaker 1:Don't do that. You should probably date you know, get. But the girlfriend that I had in high school, I didn't do much dating First of all, like growing up I actually I wasn't the type that had a girlfriend in every grade. I had crushes.
Speaker 2:Oh, that makes sense of why you poke at me so much, for that is because you didn't.
Speaker 1:No, I didn't have a girlfriend in every single grade. I didn't. I did in every single grade I had girls that I thought was cute and pretty attractive, stuff like that that had crushes on. But not enough to be like I'm going to date. I just thought at a young age, like even in middle school I was just like she's my girlfriend, boyfriend, like what are we doing? Like at a very young age I just thought, like what's the point? We're kids, I'm not going to marry this girl.
Speaker 2:I snuck out to the mall to go on a date with my seventh grade boyfriend.
Speaker 1:And then I thought, okay, that's, that's wild. But then I thought too, like if a girl's going to be my, my wife, like I'll know it, she'll know it eventually, like we'll date. But I'm like I'm in middle school, you know, and I didn't. I wasn't really satisfied with myself, like I didn't really there's a lot of stuff about myself I didn't. And then because I was super shy, introvert, yeah, and I knew most girls would ask me a lot, lot in it because I'm not an introvert.
Speaker 2:I was very extroverted. I liked to get to know everyone. I liked the tension, I liked that stuff. Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I wasn't a type of like I want to get to know somebody. So I was just more fantasized what it'd be like with a girl or something like that. But I wasn't in that point of just like yo, she's going to be the one. But high school, honestly, my ex-girlfriend she gave me her number, it was straight up, just like call me. I was like, dang, this is crazy. Okay, before cell phones, she had a cell phone but I didn't. But anyway, I thought she was the one and when I was dating her, I was dating her with the thought of like she is the one that I've been looking for. Now here's the crazy thing is is like what happens when you start dating someone that everyone around you don't want you dating?
Speaker 2:Your family don't want you dating, but I think.
Speaker 1:I think right now, a lot of people don't really understand what mindsets to have while dating in the process, looking for the one right, Because there's a. I think there's a difference which we'll have. We'll have a whole nother conversation another time about, okay, when you found that person and you know they're the one and you guys are already item, you guys are already dating, you guys love each other and you've made up in your mind you're going to actually marry this person. You're still going through the dating process, you're still technically considered single, but right now we're talking about dating, looking for that and I think there is value, like mentioning that book I'd kiss dating goodbye.
Speaker 2:I don't think it's like a hard black and white line of like don't ever date, just to date. Like I think there's value in dating different people for different time amounts, different amount of times, to find out, like, what you do want in a person or what you do want in their hobbies, in their career, in their family dynamic. Like I do think that it's valuable to experiment with it a little bit. The hard part is just knowing yourself. So, like for me, even though I did date a lot of guys randomly, I am super vulnerable and I'm just like I wear my heart on my sleeve. So because of that I got hurt a lot.
Speaker 1:You told me like almost everything super early on in our dating relationship.
Speaker 2:I just I just am that I mean to a fault. I just I just am that I mean to a fault. I'm just that way, like I'm just very open, I'm very trusting and I'm like I just don't hide things, like I'm just that's me and you just get me as I am.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and to me I was like when we started dating, I there was stuff that I wanted to tell you, but I felt like there we need to go through a few seasons first. I think there's like layers of trust and I think people that are getting into dating and they're like man, I really want to find that right person First of all, the right person. You really don't know who that person is until you get to know someone, so there does need to be a line of like how much of yourself you put out there. Cause when you're dating somebody, it's almost like like I tell you something, you tell me something Right, right, I don't know how. No.
Speaker 2:I mean, I imagine that's how you like build that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's how you that's how you do that. But I guess the biggest thing is like, where do you even put that line if you're dating somebody but you're not even sure they're the one? But you almost got to put yourself out there to see if you crack the code, because you don't know where you guys are going to connect Right. You don't know if one day you end up sharing something and that person's like oh my gosh, me too.
Speaker 2:That's it, yeah, and I will say I feel like it's a disclaimer, like needs to be all across the board is that we're talking about dating 14 years ago, 15 years ago, yeah, the world has changed so much Straight up years ago. 15 years ago, the world has changed so much straight and they we cannot count the amount of times that we have said we're so glad we're not in the dating world right now, bro.
Speaker 1:I mean when we were dating, like the picture somebody posted up on social media. Like I look at that picture and I see in person it's the real person. It was the same person but now with filters Facetune AI.
Speaker 1:Bro. I'm like, who is this guy or girl? I don't even know, bro. Am I, hey, nice to meet you, ma'am, or should I say sir, mister, you do not know, you don't even know. Nowadays it's so scary, especially in a world where everyone is very confused and this could be debatable, because some people say, oh, I'm not confused, I used to be a guy and now I'm a girl, like to me that's confusing, because that doesn't make sense to me. Like, do you pee sitting or do you pee standing?
Speaker 2:up Pee air.
Speaker 1:Oh my word, this is not what the conversation is about Okay, but actually it kind of is because now we're in a world where people are afraid to date. That's true, because they just don't know.
Speaker 2:That was not a thing 15 years ago.
Speaker 1:They just don't know where you. Okay, at least you know where I stand. You know, like, where I stand with that right. 15 years ago we were able to have those conversations and still be friends. But now we live in a world. Now, if you do not agree with my statements, we're fighting and we're against each other.
Speaker 2:So now I think people are.
Speaker 1:We're living in a time where people are actually afraid to date. Back then, when we were dating, like we, we weren't using social media for you know political stance, we weren't using social media for writing, we weren't using social media for protesting, all these type of things, and so and it was a lot simpler than when it came to dating Now, I mean, even on our, if I'm FaceTiming you, I could put a filter on my FaceTime.
Speaker 2:Actually, that's really crazy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you could put filters on while FaceTiming. Now, I did not know that. Oh yeah, straight up, it brushes you. I mean, bro, you go on Zoom, that's true Zoom is like touch up button on Zoom.
Speaker 2:That's crazy.
Speaker 1:That is crazy. So I'm like man, hey, shout out to everybody who's in the dating world right now. You guys are trying to date. I'm sorry that you guys are born or whatever, dating in this time. But here's what I want to do. We honestly just wanted to let you guys jump in on this conversation to share with you guys the things that we have done while we were dating. We didn't do it all right. Everyone has done it different. There's no magic formula, there's no secret code for it, but ultimately it really comes down to making a decision, saying that I'm going to put myself out there.
Speaker 2:That's really it. You have to.
Speaker 1:You almost have to just put yourself out there to know okay, I don't know if this person is the person for me, but I really want to find someone, and the only way you're going to get vulnerable and close to someone is to get close to someone.
Speaker 2:Right and it's like what we talked about in the other conversations that we've had about like us meeting, knowing whether it's a good fit, knowing the signs of like yeah, this actually feels right or something's off. It also is super important to know your standards of like, things you are willing to negotiate on and things that are non-negotiables. So, for us, having someone that was a believer and a follower of Christ was a non-negotiable Like we weren't dating someone who didn't have that same attribute and decision in their life. It was just non-negotiable. So if you are a believer, I think that that should be one. There were other things in the world that we just knew like okay, are we on the same page with this one? Like you, even knowing you were going to be a pastor?
Speaker 1:like yeah, I think it's very important that for people that are dating, this is what we did Like when we were dating. I shared with you where I saw myself in 10 years yeah. I shared with you some of my goals and some people are listening saying like well, how do you know how much to share? Well, you don't need to give them, you don't need to give them your bank account number for them to know where you see yourself financially.
Speaker 2:I mean, but you even said verbatim, you want to travel for music, and so when people look at me at home by myself with no family around, 15 years later and two kids. They're like how do you do that? And I'm like oh, I knew I was signing up for this. This was his dream when I met him as a teenager. Yeah, this is where we were going.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like when you're dating people and you're like, okay, I don't know if this person is the one, you have nothing to lose, like we had nothing to lose when we were dating for the first time. Because to me I'm like, okay, I'm going to tell you where I see myself. I know that God called me to serve the church. I know that God called me to be a pastor and to lead people. I also have a gift of music and I enjoy making music and I want to travel to do music. Hopefully, the goal is to do all the above at the same time.
Speaker 1:You knew that at an early stage. So if you was like, man, I don't want to be married to a guy that's devoted to the church. I don't want to be married to a guy that's devoted to the church. I don't want to be married to someone that's a musician. So finances are always fluctuating and he wants to travel, I'm not signing up for that. Here's the beauty of what we did at an early stage, like that sharing with each other, our goals and where we saw ourselves is that we weren't in love. We had nothing to lose. If one of us decided to say this is not going to work for me right now. We can pull the plug on this right now.
Speaker 2:And that's exactly what happened with that guy that was going to be military. We weren't in love, we were just hanging out for a few times, going on a few dates. And I was like, yeah, I'm not signing up for this, and we stopped hanging out because we did it. We stopped hanging out before it got too serious, where it was just heartbreak or we settled.
Speaker 1:Like the benefits of putting yourself out there early on with someone that you think could be the one, is they're either going to tell you like I like that or like nah, like. If you say, man, I see myself having a lot of kids, don't wait till you're in love with the person To be like yeah, I see myself having a lot of kids.
Speaker 1:Don't wait till you're in love with the person To be like, yeah, I don't really want to have kids Sitting there at the aisle. And they're walking down the aisle and you're like, when should I tell them I?
Speaker 2:don't want kids. Oh my gosh, that's a nightmare.
Speaker 1:It's just not worth it.
Speaker 2:And it's not fair to the other person.
Speaker 1:It's not worth it, like having all these cards in your back pocket and saying I'm going to save it, I'm going to save it, I'm going to save it. You're the best time to take the risk in a relationship.
Speaker 2:Is that the beginning At the beginning?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's the best time. I have nothing to lose. I don't. I like you. I'm going to say for me, this is not for all men. I'm a round of applause for all the men that are better than me, right, but for me I'm scared what you're about to say. No, you already know what I'm about to say. I've mentioned it in the last few episodes. And you guys, if you guys haven't already tell them what they need to do, man Go back and watch those other videos of our story, how we met.
Speaker 2:We just broke it all down. Trust me, you want to hear it. And even if you are liking this episode, just do us a little tiny favor and the like button, because then it sends it to other people that will like this content too. So we're not asking you to subscribe, even though that'd be great, but we know subscribing is a commitment.
Speaker 1:It's a big commitment. It's a big commitment. Some people are like man, I don't you know. I said this in the last episode. Some people like me I'm the same way. I'm like I don't know if I want my feed to be completely flooded with your content, right?
Speaker 2:So we're not asking for likes. It's free, so just click the like it's simple, If you like this.
Speaker 1:Oh wait, isn't it YouTube lingo to be like smash that like Smash that like button? Oh, I got that here somewhere too. If you're listening to this on Apple podcast, you're listening to this on Spotify, Google podcast. Shout out to all our podcast listeners Love you guys, what you guys can do is honestly just write a little review, just hit on there, hit that five star. Hit that five star, or four star, or three star. Why don't you tell us how you feel? Go ahead and tell us how you feel. Don't lie to us.
Speaker 2:You have nothing to lose. It's the beginning of the relationship If it's a one star.
Speaker 1:I'm actually 100% cool with that. The world that, the world that we live in right now, everybody's giving false reviews. It's false reviews Like if you don't like it, just give it a one, hit the dislike, that's fine. You're not hurting my feeling. You're telling me the truth. The truth sets us free and the truth is very um convincing man. It tells me okay, got it, this is not valuable to you guys. Okay, so hit that like button. Um, and let's keep moving right along.
Speaker 1:For me, as a guy, when we were dating, I kept my options open, so for me, it's that mindset of like I don't know if she's the one, I don't know if that girl's the one, I don't know which girl's the one. What I'm going to do is I'm going to put myself out there, have some moments with all of them, have some conversation with all of them and we'll see which one happens I and we'll see which one happens.
Speaker 2:I know for girls, you guys feel like, yeah, it's such a double standard.
Speaker 1:You guys feel like it's dishonest?
Speaker 2:For sure you guys feel like I can understand where you're coming from, but girls are just not built that way, and if we roll that way, we're definitely called hoes.
Speaker 1:Most girls are not built that way. Don't speak for every. Okay, you're right.
Speaker 2:You're right, I I stand corrected. Because, like I said, most girls are not built that way, and if we do roll that way, we are called hoes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, santa Claus's favorites.
Speaker 2:Santa Claus's favorites. But it is such a double standard. But I understand where you're coming from. Like, if there's no commitment yet, if there's no agreement, there's no like definitive thing between you and I, I get you are free to hang out with other people. It's like an unspoken thing for girls Like we, but we won't we are allowed to but there's like this unspoken thing that we won't.
Speaker 1:You're loyal to the guy that's giving you interest.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and what you don't know is that I'm giving a few y'all interest because I'm dating, trying to find who's the one right, like I'm looking at. I was so, and I know not every person gets to this, to this position in life but I got to a place where I'm like, okay, I waited a lot of years to finally start officially dating Right. So when I got to the point where I was ready to start dating, I was like, okay, I'm ready to start dating, looking for the one. So every girl that I looked at in my mind I started thinking could she be the one Right? I wasn't interested in just dating for fun. And I'm going to take a moment right now and just throw that nugget in there right now, like don't just date for fun, it's a waste of time.
Speaker 1:And your heart and emotions Motions money, resources and like you're putting yourself out there to people that you know they don't even have the potential because you're bored. If you're bored, get another job.
Speaker 2:Hello, or a hobby, or a hobby Pickleball is great.
Speaker 1:But you shouldn't be dating. I'm going to say this right now you shouldn't be dating just because you're bored. So I'm not saying like that book and say don't date, no, absolutely date, but date when you're ready to put yourself out there looking for that person, meaning you're ready to be honest with them because you're finally honest with yourself. I felt like I got to a point where I was ready to be honest with someone else because I was honest with myself. Some people men and women, both alike I think they get to that point where they start dating but they're not ready to be honest with that person because they're not honest with themselves. So you kind of lead that other person on for months or for a few seasons and that other person is putting themselves out there saying where they see themselves, what they want to do with their family, and you're just entertaining oh yeah, I love that. Meanwhile, you know in the back of your head that you're not interested in some of those topics or you're not doing it, you're looking for a good time.
Speaker 2:That's just selfish, don't do that to somebody else, you'll hurt somebody. I also think it's valuable to talk about for females mainly, but not just females females and males that when you are choosing someone to spend time with, that you pick someone that is your standard or above. Like, don't settle. We have seen it in so many relationships. It was what I faulted in the relationship I had before you. I did settle and the best thing that ever happened to me was that he broke up with me.
Speaker 2:I was going to marry that boy because I thought, first of all, if you don't have a ring on your finger and you didn't walk down the aisle, you can still back out. I am a loyalist and so because I said at 17, yeah, I think you're the one for me, I thought I had to stick it out. So dumb, right? So if you don't have a ring and you didn't walk down the aisle, you can back out Straight up. Number two know what you're worth. I picked someone that I thought I was worth. It's literally like picking who you see in the mirror Right and the best thing that ever happened was that person broke up with me. Then all my friends were like, oh, we didn't like him for you anyways, blah, blah, blah, blah blah.
Speaker 1:I would have never known that, like you were what God had for me yeah, maybe that's what we had in common, because both our exes broke up with us.
Speaker 2:It's true, both our exes broke up with us.
Speaker 1:That's wild that is why I don't think that's what we had in common.
Speaker 2:Obviously there's some, but I do think that that was part of the story that was being written and I was devastated on mine. You were fine, but I was devastated when mine broke up with me and I cried so much I wasn't fine, I just expressed myself differently, that's for sure.
Speaker 1:But I told you that summer we talked about it in our last episode, part two. Y'all go back and listen and watch I talked about how my ex-girlfriend broke up with me on my birthday and when I went back home. When I went back home that summer, my hope was to reconcile with her. That's true, cause I still really cared for her and loved her Right, like even now. Like I don't. I haven't been in touch with her since, right, but I still care for her.
Speaker 1:I hope she's doing well, like legit. I think she married and things like that has kids so great, like legit. Like I want to know that every single person that had a part of my life is doing well. Like and that's what I'm talking about Like you know, I said this in the last episode of for those of you that that are kind of tracking with us like there was a girl that I was kind of talking to when, when Dane Lee and I, when you and I were kind of talking and I just left her hanging and I called her back years later saying, like I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like I was a jerk, I should never done that. Like. And she was upset, she was hurt, she. Her biggest question was like how come you just never called me back?
Speaker 2:That's so crazy, which is messed up?
Speaker 1:But after we reconciled and that was restored, a few years later she she got married, has kids, all that stuff I don't keep. I don't keep up with her, obviously, but I really hope and pray that she is doing well and that's what I'm talking about. Like y'all, when we're dating people, it's not worth dating someone if you're not even interested to actually make a connection or actually take that next step. Don't date just for fun. And that's where we were at that time. We were like seriously dating and we were pursuing each other before we knew we were the ones for each other.
Speaker 2:So next time we're going to talk about what are the things we did while we were dating, after we knew we were the one Cause.
Speaker 1:That's what? Yeah, that's a whole nother conversation, because there's a difference from like dating around looking for that person and then dating that person. That is the one. Cause there's still some guidelines, some things, that still some layers that still needs to be crossed before you start walking down that aisle Right? Because, just like you said it, man, if there's no ring on the finger, if you're not married yet, you can still run Straight up, walk away from it.
Speaker 1:Straight up, walk away and so I really enjoyed our time of like getting to know each other. In that season where we're like yo, this person legit could be the one Putting out fillers from your family members. I think is important too as well. I'm not saying it's everything Like your family shouldn't get all the votes. I had some people in my family that wasn't fans of us dating. That's a whole nother conversation because we married outside of our culture. So there's that. There's some people that are loyalists to your culture. They're like man. Bro Pierre didn't marry a Haitian. Who's going to cook him Haitian rice Grubhub? No, I'm playing. We have Grubhub back then. What time is that we?
Speaker 2:got to go.
Speaker 1:Oh snap, we got to go yeah.
Speaker 2:We got to go pick.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, we tried to squeeze these in interesting times, but man, it's really cool that season of what we did that.
Speaker 1:So we talked about putting ourselves out there, yep, like letting people know your goals, like where do you see yourself down the road, allowing that other person to honestly speak into it or give them a chance to get out of it, laying down your foundations and letting them know these are my foundations. This is what I believe. I see so many times people in churches where they believe one way and they won't share it because people don't want to offend each other. Like letting them know your beliefs, I think also getting input from some people that you really respect and admire.
Speaker 1:We said in the last episode, your mentor pulled you inside and said yo, like this guy could be the guy and she didn't know that I was the guy, but she was just telling you take that next step, put yourself out there and look at, look where we got right now. And I think, finally, like and I said this, and this is really not in this order, but I think it's very important for us to get to that point to say, hey, I'm ready to date because I'm ready to be honest with someone else.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And I'm ready to be honest with myself, right, so that when they cross-examine and ask us questions, then I'm ready to tell you the freaking truth.
Speaker 2:The freaking truth and we said don't settle and don't date just for fun to where you could hurt someone else.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, we said all that.
Speaker 2:There's a lot in this one.
Speaker 1:We got to record some few more episodes, some conversation. This record some few more episodes, some conversation this conversation is honestly an ongoing one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it really is. One is like cut short. The reason why we try to keep these short, because what we don't want to do is hit you guys with a fire hose of conversations and you're like yo, we're trying to listen to this episode and it's like two hours long. Shout out to people who do that For us. I get cotton mouth and we got to go. We literally got errands to run. But honestly, this was a conversation we were having earlier today. Yeah, we were having this conversation earlier today and while we recorded this conversation today because we're like man, we really feel bad for people who just date for fun, and we thought, man, let's have a conversation about some of the things that we did when we were thinking each other could have been the one, and what we did in that season. So I enjoyed digging with you, babe.
Speaker 2:I love digging with you.
