Unlocking the Secrets to Roles and Relationships

Ever found yourself bleary-eyed at 2 AM, debating with your partner about whose turn it is to check on a feverish child? Our latest episode takes a humorous look at the unexpected moments of parenting, the cultural color of Haitian home remedies, and how these scenarios are a litmus test for the 'glass half empty or half full' debate. We open the curtain to the intimate stage of our family life, sharing stories that will have you nodding along and laughing in recognition, all while examining the dynamics of partnership and family roles.

Strap in for a candid discussion on gender roles and relationship dynamics, spiced with childhood reminiscences and a dash of Biblical references alongside pop culture. Our conversation might just challenge your views on the expectations of men and women within the family sphere. From the nurturing superpowers of motherhood to the art of managing anxiety, our heart-to-heart invites you to reflect on the contributions we each make to our relationships, and how accountability and embracing our roles can lead to a harmonious home life.

Communication is the golden thread that stitches together the fabric of a healthy relationship, and this episode pulls no punches in addressing how to navigate disagreements with empathy and understanding. We share strategies that ensure you're not just talking at each other but truly connecting—whether it's by validating each other's perspectives or prioritizing your partner's needs. By the end of our conversation, we hope to leave you with a toolkit for building stronger bonds and a reminder of the power of expressing gratitude within your partnership. Join us for a dialogue that's as real as it gets, with plenty of moments that will leave you feeling seen, heard, and maybe even a little inspired.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Perspective on Glass Half Full
• 2:51 Gender Roles and Relationship Dynamics
• 10:14 Navigating Anxiety and Conflict Resolution
• 12:59 Understanding Perspectives and Effective Communication
• 26:22 Building Healthy Relationships Through Communication
• 30:02 Encouraging Self-Value and Connection

Transcript

Danilee: 0:00

So you used to make me so mad when you would be talking about me and to our friends or in a group or circle or whatever, and you would refer to me as a glass half empty girl. You'd be like you know, danny Lee, she's more of like a glass half empty person and I'm more of a glass half full person.

Pierre: 0:17

Yeah, because I just felt like there were so many times, like in our lives and in all of our 16, 17 years of being with each other, that typically you'd look at a situation and you looked at it. How. What's the worst possible scenario? That's what you literally played out in your mind, which is crazy.

Danilee: 0:35

Which I stopped fighting it for a little bit and I was like, okay, maybe he's right, that's maybe just my anxiety. But actually the other day we were having a conversation with some friends and I realized that that outlook on life is actually part of us operating in our gifts as husband and wife and mom and dad, and here's why I'll explain. Say, for instance, one night, which this has happened multiple times. So this is not a hypothetical story, this is real.

Pierre: 1:05

Okay.

Danilee: 1:06

We're going to bed and one of the kids spikes a fever.

Pierre: 1:09

I immediately go into panic mode of what tomorrow looks like you I mean you're Danny Lee comes to me and she's asking me should we take the kids to the ER? Should I call my mom? She starts Googling stuff. This girl starts going on xgscom Trying to find out all this information about a fever and like there's a blue dot on his nose, and then she comes to ask me and I'm like here, be fine, It'll be fine. It just needs sleep, it needs rest. You know, you guys know, I'm Haitian, right? For those of you that don't know, I'm a Haitian, and for us Haitians first of all, if you're sick, it's probably some type of spiritual attack, right?

Danilee: 1:44

Yeah, just pray over and put some olive oil on the forehead, it'll be fine.

Pierre: 1:48

It just needs prayer and rest and lots and lots of water.

Danilee: 1:50

Okay, but in reality, when the kids strike a fever, all I can think of is the schedule for the next day.

Pierre: 1:56

Right.

Danilee: 1:57

What's going to happen? What's going to happen with work? Do I need to call out? Who's going to call out? Is it you or is it me? Like all, the things.

Pierre: 2:03

I ain't doing nothing. That is true, because the kids are going to be just fine, we all going to go to sleep, and then what you have to do is parents. What you do is you just lock your door so when the kids wake up at night.

Danilee: 2:13

He does not do that, I get up guys. That's what happens. He stays asleep and I get up with the kids.

Pierre: 2:19

There'll be times like baby, like you'll wake up. We'll wake up in the morning and you'll say, oh my gosh, last night was the worst night ever and I'm like what?

Danilee: 2:27

happened. He's not lying guys.

Pierre: 2:28

They both woke up. One had diarrhea, one was puking, one was puking, the other one was crying, the other one saw a weird spider in their dream and I'm like all that happened last night.

Danilee: 2:41

He stayed asleep through all of it. He's like guys, I slept really great.

Pierre: 2:44

Yo, you guys could straight up come rob me at night and I would have no idea. I got robbed Like I'd sleep hard. But you know the house I grew up in though there was always eight to 10 people in our house, there'd be some times like my parents had all kinds of people come into our house. I tell you the story. I'm like, yeah, my dad's, brother's best friend uncle is staying with us because he's transitioning through states and we're staying with us.

Pierre: 3:11

And then I was the second of three boys, I mean the middle of three boys, my older brother some of you guys know him he was a producer. So there'd be times, remember, I tell you the stories. There'd be times he's up late producing music, he has his friends coming at night and we got school in the morning. So we just learned how to just be very optimistic and just always doing like, ah, it'd be fine, everything's going to work out. So I think that's probably why I've created that, or I've built that muscle of always looking at a situation, of like it's going to worsen. That's probably because we went through some bad situation. I ever tell you about that story. Wait, we didn't say let's dig.

Danilee: 3:47

We didn't. What are?

Pierre: 3:48

we even talking about today.

Danilee: 3:49

We're talking about the roles of men and women, and how they're strict. We just went down and tried a rabbit hole about your older brother.

Danilee: 4:00

What's up, bro? No-transcript. Talking about how I actually usually see the negative, I panic about all the things I need to take care of, and what I was saying was that, as a glass half empty person, it's actually the mothering part of me, the characteristics of a mother who anticipates needs, that make me think that way. We are constantly in a habit of looking at things and saying, okay, we don't have enough money, it's not gonna stretch for the next seven days. We don't have enough chicken nuggets, it's not gonna stretch for the next three days while we have school. Brooklyn needs new socks, jordan needs new this. I need more money for this, for this insurance, like whatever it may be.

Danilee: 4:47

As the head of the household is a mother, that's constantly. Our role is looking for the needs and then planning how to make up for that, but your role is more so. I feel like the men are kind of like we'll figure it out, it's gonna work itself out, it's gonna be fine. You guys never really panic of like yeah, I don't know what we're gonna do, we don't have enough money. You guys don't do that. You're like, nah, it'll come in, nah, it'll work itself out.

Pierre: 5:15

I don't know if I could speak for every single man in that sense because but naturally for you. I know some men like there wouldn't be slapping them around and saying, bruh, I need you to do something already.

Danilee: 5:24

That is true. That's not our case. We've never had to deal with that.

Pierre: 5:28

Which let me just say this to all the fellas out there like, straight up, man up. Like the way God intended it for us, he intended for men to be men and for women to be men, for women to be women. I know people about to say wait, oh my gosh, there's Pierre. Look, it's very simple. Listen, for those of y'all that follow us and you're gonna be like oh my gosh, where does Pierre and Dan Lee stand? Do they stand here? Do they stand there? Listen, it's very simple. A man is a man, a woman is a woman. That's how God intended it to be. You know, yo, here's one of my favorite stories in the Bible. You ready for this? This is gonna be a weird segment, but in the beginning, when God created, it.

Danilee: 6:02

So heads up, here we go.

Pierre: 6:03

No, okay, now it's not really a story, right, it's just a moment.

Danilee: 6:07

Moment.

Pierre: 6:07

That I really just highlighted and emphasized. It's in the Bibles and Genesis. Right, we all know the story, right? God created man and from the man he created woman. He pulled the woman out from his rib, made the woman go to sleep, made him go night night. The woman came and all this stuff and the woman.

Danilee: 6:21

Remember when he used to always call me your rib.

Pierre: 6:22

Yeah, you still my rib baby.

Danilee: 6:24

That's cause the baby back rib. Chili's song was really popular when we used to yeah, that's crazy.

Pierre: 6:29

But you're still my rib all right, you're still my rib, but God took woman from the side right, cause there was never the intention, wasn't for the man literally to be above him. However, the way God designed it was for the man to be the alpha, was for the man to be the provider. And so even think about that moment, right, when we hear the story about when Eve ate the fruit right and now their eyes will open the A from the forbidden tree, which reminds me of the movie year one with Jack Black. When he ate the forbidden fruit and he's like man, it has kind of like a knowledge taste to it and otherwise, oh yeah, it doesn't have like a forbidden taste to it. Ask me any question, right?

Danilee: 7:11

Where does the sun go at night?

Pierre: 7:12

Pass right.

Danilee: 7:13

Next question.

Pierre: 7:14

But here's the crazy thing is when God realized that they ate that fruit. Go back and read this y'all. This is a Genesis, chapter three. God came looking for the man.

Danilee: 7:25

Yeah, cause he was responsible.

Pierre: 7:27

Even though it was the woman that took the fruit. It was the woman that started brought the fruit, ate it. She gave it to him. God came looking for the dude like yo bro, hey, where are you?

Danilee: 7:36

That's what the Bible says.

Pierre: 7:37

The Bible says bingo, because that's how God designed it as the man to be the head of the household. And for me, I've realized, babe, when I used to say that comment of you know, you know, danyly, she's a glass, she's glass half empty, she's old, negative. She always sees how things aren't gonna work out, she plays out all these scenarios and it don't make sense. That was me being in a place where I was empty and I didn't realize that you actually complete me.

Danilee: 8:05

Yeah.

Pierre: 8:07

You complete me, and we live in this world where it's man against woman. We're trying to compete with each other. It's the classic saying of we're not here to compete, we're here to complete. Yo. That is so true when it comes to relationships. I have people in my circle, I have people in our surroundings where, when I wasn't in a healthy place, I will look down on some of their characteristics or some of their behaviors.

Danilee: 8:31

Mine.

Pierre: 8:32

Yeah, same. Okay, I was just trying to hypothetically speak. I wasn't trying to. We don't need to always dig at our relationship the whole entire time.

Danilee: 8:39

That's true, but it has been growth in our relationship for us to realize that part of our characteristics are strengths and not always weaknesses.

Pierre: 8:47

That's exactly it, and I didn't realize that for so many years, and it frustrated me that you always had a different perception of a situation and I thought you should see it the way I see. Listen, y'all, that's not the way it's designed. It's not designed for you and I to basically see it the same way. If we're on the athletic team and we're both on the same team and we're both on the same field, we do not play the same positions. Your position is just as strong as me. For so many years, I just thought you should do it like I do it and see it, how you see it, and see it how I see it, and I was wrong for that.

Danilee: 9:23

And it's only made us stronger now, knowing that your perspective is just as valued as my perspective and my perspective is just as valued as your perspective, and that we are stronger when we are acknowledging each other's viewpoints and like taking it into account, of saying, ok, that could happen, here's what we can do to offset that, or this might not happen, but just in case, let's have a backup plan. And so I think that that has been a huge growth for our relationship. It has been.

Danilee: 9:58

But I also want to encourage other people out there for relationships, for marriages, even, even for moms, like just talking to the moms out there that watch, knowing that your viewpoint is valuable and that you can lean into that strength. Now, I am not saying lean into anxiety, right, that's something different. A lot of moms I mean not just moms, but a lot of moms deal with anxiety.

Danilee: 10:23

It's just how our brains are wired and what we have to fight. So I'm not saying lean into anxiety, I'm saying lean into the word of God, but knowing that this is part of your gifting, it is part of nurturing, it is part of caring. As women, we are called to be multipliers and to nurture and and give in to growth, for situations. And so when we come up with things and we see things that aren't going to make it our short, our running out, our knowing that, hey, this is my gift. To say, hey, here's an alarm, this is coming up and we've got to make it work, and knowing that that's part of your calling as a mother and to help your mate, say, hey, this is where we're at, this is what I see. How can we come together and make sure that that doesn't happen?

Pierre: 11:09

Yeah, and Dan Lee said also earlier.

Pierre: 11:11

I want to mention this. She said lean into the word of God. That's the Bible when we're referring to that. So for those of you that aren't believing and don't understand that lingo, for us we are a Bible believing family, bible, believing home, and we believe in the word of God, which is the Bible. We believe everything that it says and that's our guide for this life.

Pierre: 11:29

I want to take also take a moment and say real quick, if you feel like these videos, if you feel like these conversations, that they're bringing value to your life, I want to ask you like, hit the hit that like button, hit subscribe, share it to somebody. You know I've said it in the last video like we don't just want you to just watch in, right, what's the purpose of watching? And like, talk back with us Like we want to know, like what are some trigger points, what are some words, some things that we're saying that you feel like is bringing value to you specifically, it helps us as a guide, it lets us know, like, what lane to really lean into. So we're going to jump right back into it. You know I love, like what you said, babe, like you know, really understanding that these are superpowers that we have. Yeah, and there's some. There's some things that I want to encourage even us, and in everybody's that that's listening that some things that we can do to really preface whenever we're getting ready to face conflict or altercation.

Pierre: 12:21

Right, there's been times like I'm coming to you and I'm going to share something or give you feedback on an idea that you gave me, like you guys know that feeling right, you're about to go to your coworker, you're about to go to your boss or to your friend, to your mate, your partner, whatever it is, and you're about to go to them and you're going to give them feedback on an idea or thought that they had. And what happens is we use our filters and we just give feedback and we just start popping off at them. I say, well, I think it's this, I think it should be that, I like this, I think this, I think should be that, and something for us that's worked for us in our relationship is to preface it and set it up. We haven't always got it right.

Pierre: 12:59

So there's times before I give you, you come to me and say, hey, the kids are sick, they have a fever. I don't know what to do? I think they should go to the ER. I think we should call the doctor. I think we should get this Can you run a CVS or Walgreens or ride aids? I don't know what you guys have in your area and normally I start saying whatever man, they'll be fine. Baby, relax. And I realized it's a very dismissive response for me not to acknowledge your perception and your stress and how you see and how you're receiving the situation. So what I've learned to do is preface and I'll set up my perspective. I will set up my filter, another thing that I want to encourage everybody to do too like whenever you're getting ready to give people feedback, like on their ideas or on their concerns or how they're feeling, or their stress or their like, um, um, anxiousness, like something that we've done is, before I give my thoughts, I'm going to repeat everything that you're feeling back to you.

Danilee: 14:01

Okay.

Pierre: 14:02

So the kids are sick and you feel like they should go to the doctor. You feel like, and I'll, I'll act like what makes you feel that way and you'll kind of talk about it, you'll break it down. It lets you know that I understand how you see it.

Danilee: 14:16

Totally, because then I don't feel like I have to fight for you to hear me.

Pierre: 14:19

Bingo, and that's what happens to most people. They feel like they have to fight and you feel like you have to defend yourself. And what I'm telling you is, first of all, we need to do a better job of explaining ourselves. We need to slow down, we need to get our words together. Sometimes we need to say let me think about it and then for us that are on the other end, like before you start saying, what you say and what you think, repeat back to the other person their feelings, their emotions, their perception, how they see it. It allows them to put their guards down and it allows them to understand that. Okay, you know where I'm coming from. Now you get to speak into me.

Danilee: 14:54

Yeah, because you heard me, so now you can speak to me.

Pierre: 14:57

It's an exercise we've done all the time. Once I feel like your guards are down and that you know that I understand you, then I can actually say okay, I'm gonna share with you how I see it. Yeah, that's a preference. Set it up. I don't need to dismiss her right and I want to encourage fellas out there. Listen, I get it. You guys are like man. I wish my girl would just understand me. I just wish that my wife would just understand me. Okay, get over it. Teach her how to understand you Like. Learn how to have better conversations. Stop being so reactive. Don't react to situations and respond to them. Ask questions. I tell this to people all the time, like before we got something to say, have something to ask?

Danilee: 15:37

So good.

Pierre: 15:38

Ask a question first. Yeah, so before I say whatever, like I don't think you need to do that, or make you feel like I don't care what you have to say, I'm gonna ask you like why do you feel that way?

Danilee: 15:47

I think it's about like super valuable too, that if I have a strong opinion, I need to slow myself down and ask that question first. I feel like that is such a good barrier and a buffer Before I come in hard of like this is how I feel or this is what you should do. Even I'm thinking of like work settings or opinions about something creative or whatever. I'm not even thinking so much in our relationship, but with relationship with other people. Before I come strong with an opinion, I need to come strong with a question first.

Pierre: 16:17

Yes, so the issue wasn't that I thought that I was very optimistic and the glasses half full and that you were pessimistic, pessimistic, Pessimistic, Pessimistic Good job, and that you were the glasses half empty. The issue was that I did not value how you just saw the glass. That's true. Period it's not about. Well, he thinks and she thinks. Forget all that it's about. Do you understand the people that you are in relationship with? Do you understand how they see it? Because perception right, Perception is based off of how you see it, Because who's right, who's wrong? So it's understanding how the other person see it. Is the glass half empty or is it half full? Who's right, who's wrong? It's just gaining more understanding of how the people that you are in relationship sees the conflict or see the opportunity. Like you know what I?

Danilee: 17:07

mean, as we're talking about it, I have a mental picture of I like to watch like Law and Order, SVU, and when they or even anyone in battle, like when they come into a moment when they are surrounded, they go back to back and I just have like a visual of them being able to see they're seeing completely opposite sides. Their backs are to each other, but they have to trust the point of view of the other person and, knowing that, they see that perspective, I see this perspective, but this is what's gonna keep us the safest.

Pierre: 17:42

Yeah something else that we do, too, guys, that I wanna encourage you guys to honestly put into practice, is we'll ask questions, like if Dan Lee comes to me with an idea or a thought, if I don't feel passionate about it, I'm gonna actually say that. I'm gonna say, actually, babe, like I know this is very strong for you right now and you really feel you know the world about the situation. I'll be honest with you, I don't really feel passionate about this topic and I do value it because I value you and what's important to you. But I'm just gonna tell you my vote I can't put it in cause. I'm neither left or right in this case. It lets her know that I'm acknowledging that this is a big situation, like when the kids were sick, right, and I just would tell her, like I just.

Danilee: 18:28

Those used to be huge fights.

Pierre: 18:29

Yeah, because Dannely just wanted me to just say do you think they should go to the ER or not? And I didn't realize I wasn't verbalizing to her properly that actually I don't know, you don't know and I don't feel passionate about this.

Danilee: 18:44

You. Well, that sounds weird to say you're not passionate about our kids when they're sick, but it's because you didn't have a strong opinion.

Danilee: 18:51

This also goes back to personality types of like you didn't know the answer, so you couldn't make a decision, and in our relationship we've never had to deal with you not being the stronger leader Like. Naturally, in our relationship you are a strong leader, but what we did have to struggle with is you respecting my feelings or my choices. And so once you were able to say, hey, this choice, I don't have a strong opinion about it you would trust me in those situations and that really set us free from arguing, from going back and forth when I would ask you those questions. Those were mainly like Jordan had to go to the ER. He was having breathing problems when he was a baby or whatever, and I wanted my partner to support me and agree with me.

Danilee: 19:40

Honestly, that's what I was looking for. I didn't know the decision on my own, so I wanted you to say, yeah, let's take them to the ER. But because you didn't know the answer, you couldn't give me anything, and that was extremely frustrating because I was like it's our son, it's his life, why don't you have an opinion? And so once you learn to verbalize, hey, I don't have the answer and I don't have a strong opinion. Let's just go with your gut. That really empowered me to lean into that mom choice of like. You know what.

Pierre: 20:10

I know it's best for my kid, let's do it and babe, and you know what's crazy is, I was never able to say I don't know, until I got to the point where I trusted you and believed that your skill set actually brought value to our relationship.

Danilee: 20:26

That actually makes a lot of sense.

Pierre: 20:28

I'm gonna say that one more time. I was not able to tell my wife I don't know how to make a decision on a topic until I was able to see her value as a teammate that brings 100% value to what we're doing in our relationship. And I could bow out and say, babe, honestly, I don't know. What do you think? Man, listen, we got to humble ourselves, we got to let gold apply and we have to see the value of the women that are in our life.

Pierre: 20:58

Guys, anyone that's in a relationship, get to the point where you can see the value of the people that you are in relationship with, like, because if you don't, you're gonna feel like you always have to make the decision and that's tiring. You have to be tired. You cannot be sleeping at night if you feel like everything rises, falls, everything is on you If you haven't understood and acknowledged the value of the people that you're in relationship with. I got to the point, babe, where I realized, like yo, my wife is legit and she knows what she's doing and she knows what she's talking about. She's just as passionate about this as I am. This is not a 50-50 relationship, it's a 100%, 100%.

Danilee: 21:35

And your confidence in me boosted my confidence for myself. So we all really, and it helped me trust myself more. It helped me go. Actually, I do know what my decision is, I do know what I feel passionate about, I do know what's best for my family in this moment and, yeah, it made me trust myself more.

Pierre: 21:52

Yeah, that's crazy.

Danilee: 21:53

That is crazy.

Pierre: 21:55

Wow.

Danilee: 21:55

I want to encourage you, women, like if you have a man that is strong, be vocal in your opinions, be vocal in what you think.

Danilee: 22:06

In respect there is because we believe in the Bible. There is a lot to say about submission, and that doesn't mean that we are lesser than that means that we just have a covering and we respect it. And as the Lord has designed the family model to work, it is that they are covering, but that doesn't mean we fall behind, we stand right next to them, and that is one of the hardest things that I've had to learn in this walk in our marriage is that I don't fall behind him, I stand beside him and so just learning my voice you guys have heard me say that plenty of times that I've had to learn my voice more, and this was a big turning point for us in our marriage of learning that I do know the right decision and I don't need your. I think it wasn't really that Sometimes I didn't trust my choice enough and I wanted you to make the choice and so realizing once you gave me that confidence and power of like, hey, babe, I don't really know the choice here.

Pierre: 23:02

I trust you. You make the call.

Danilee: 23:02

I trust you and I was like oh yeah, okay, I can do this.

Pierre: 23:06

Here's where everybody wins. When you vocalize to the people you're in relationship with that you trust them. They actually don't want to lose that trust, that's true. So you're gonna actually work harder to make the right decision. And guess what I get to do at night? Do you want these right here? Sleep, chill, relax, look, grab.

Danilee: 23:23

All through, grab this mug right here. What is happening right now, right here? Oh my word. The sticker's still on the bottom of the cup, babe, oh my bad.

Pierre: 23:32

Didn't you get this for your birthday? I did.

Danilee: 23:34

Shout out to the friends who gave us that cup.

Pierre: 23:35

That's such a great thing, it's such a cool thing, man, for us to get to that point where we're in a healthy relationship.

Danilee: 23:42

What when did this come from?

Pierre: 23:43

They were just in my pocket Relax yourself.

Pierre: 23:46

Relax, relax, chill, chill. And you know, for me, even as an alpha male, and I realized that naturally most women want an alpha male, a healthy alpha, alpha, alpha That'd be a dad. Let me get my words together right, Healthy alpha male Like people, like man, that guy can't talk. Relax, okay, stop judging me, you can't talk. All right, people want healthy alphas in their lives, true Right Alphas that operate at the basement of their calling, their ability. I'm sorry, at the balcony. Oh, alpha, you're like at the basement. Wait, what Is it the attic? It's like what's he talking about? It's like slow down, I'm hungry because we haven't eaten lunch yet. We haven't.

Pierre: 24:27

Or like it was Valentine's Day little chocolates and stuff like that. So your boy is starving right now, but people want a healthy alpha in their life. You know, for us to be able to discern, for us to be able to actually give off assignments to other people in our lives and say like, hey, baby, can I actually do this situation? I don't know how to do it, I don't know how to take care of it, and I realized, like most there are some women that have to be that in their relationship because the man they haven't stepped up.

Danilee: 24:55

Sure, if there's a lack of strength from the man that woman is, we're do or die, we're hustle, we'll figure it out. And so if that man isn't stepping into that role and leading the family, a woman's going to step in and take care of it, and she's not going to want to. It's not where we feel most comfortable. It's not where, honestly, where God designed us to be.

Pierre: 25:19

It wasn't designed to be like that.

Danilee: 25:21

It gave us those skillsets and we can use them when we need to. But naturally that is the man role to lead the family and be the covering. But when that man ain't there, if you ain't there I'm going to have to step in.

Pierre: 25:35

And I'll tell you this like I'm determined to do my job, like my job as the man in this relationship. Right, I'm determined because I realized I want to say this to you, fellas, married men, listen, you got a job when you became a husband. Your job description is a husband. What does that look like? It's a provider, it's a protector right, it's a covering for the household, it's security. Like I want my wife to know that once I'm in the room, when I'm there, she's good, she can chill.

Pierre: 26:05

I would hate to be to the point where you feel like you always have to work harder or you can't even rest because you feel like I don't have it. It's like you're able to sleep while I'm driving. Well, you used to be able to sleep while I was driving. Now you all be nervous and stuff, but it's that comfort that you have. And listen, I'm going to say this right now like married men, if you don't do your job, someone else is going to do your job for you, period. You know I always talk about. Like you know, I have to work hard at giving you compliments. I have to work hard at making sure that you know that I'm giving you attention and that I'm thinking about you and I'm posting about you and I'm talking about you. It's true, right, it's some red flags to me when men don't talk about their wives To me.

Danilee: 26:48

I'm like is your wife?

Pierre: 26:48

not in your life, you're in my life, so I'm always going to be talking about you because you're in my life. And I realized, like, if I don't do my job, someone else is going to do my job for me and my job is to be that person for you. And I'm learning harder and harder and I'm learning throughout these years that I don't have it figured out, and being open about that, being honest about that and just telling you the truth, like if I don't know or I'm not sure, or actually can you decide, that's not showing weakness, it's empowering it's empowering and it's humility.

Pierre: 27:21

It's showing that, wow, this guy is self-aware enough to know that he's incompetent in certain categories to make the decision and he has a help make a wife to say, hey, that's why I got you.

Danilee: 27:34

And it makes us trust you more when you can verbalize the lack of knowledge in a certain point, as opposed to if you're just to know it all and you're like, no, I got this and I'm standing behind you, clearly knowing you don't know what you're doing. That would make me so nervous to trust you and that would make me negate everything you say. And so, because you have the bravery and honesty to be like I don't really know, in this situation can you make the decision. I'm like, oh okay, I trust you, Cause when you say you know it, you know it Because the last time when you did it, you told me that too.

Pierre: 28:10

Yeah, that's crazy. I don't give everybody a homer.

Danilee: 28:12

Bought to give everybody a homer right, Take your pens and pencils out everybody.

Pierre: 28:15

Take your pens, pencils, your phones right it's, screenshot it. Use closed captioning. Whatever you have to do, I wanna encourage y'all this week in your relationships like take time to actually ask questions before you have something to say. Ask two questions While someone is talking, instead of figuring out what you're gonna say. Think about what you're gonna ask them, repeat back to them what they're saying. I guarantee you guards will come down when people know that you fully understand. You don't need to react, just respond For all my married people out there. Slow down, ask questions. Men, it's okay to say I don't know. It's okay, women, butter up your guy, make him feel, make his confidence go up before you tell him where you need him to step it up.

Danilee: 29:04

That's really good.

Pierre: 29:06

No, legit, don't tear me down. Tear me down. Tear me down, and then you have more stuff to say. Make me feel good about myself. Take care of your boy.

Danilee: 29:13

I got you.

Pierre: 29:14

You know, take care of your boy tonight, right? But I'm saying this women, make your husbands feel good before you tear them down or before you tell them where you want them to step up.

Danilee: 29:23

Actually they should never tear them down.

Pierre: 29:25

Yeah, that's true, you should never tear them down, never tear them down.

Danilee: 29:28

Don't ever tear me down, Lift me up build me up Right, right, Even if you're lacking in a certain spot. I'm gonna talk about the good spot.

Pierre: 29:34

That's true. Everything you say to your man should be constructive and not destructive. The goal would be to build him right. Men, it's the same exact thing. You're women. They wanna feel love and this is for this. Right here is for everybody. Like put others first when it comes to relationships. You don't need to figure out what can I do to win this right. It's not about winning right. It's about receiving right. It's not about just going head to head and say I won. Like you know our son, there's been times where we had conversation and he just tries to prove a point and he's right. I said you feel better about yourself.

Danilee: 30:09

Why does he argue with a three-year-old? I cannot.

Pierre: 30:12

I'm like you feel better about yourself because you're right. He's so competitive yeah it's not about just being right, it's about doing right. It's good. There's a difference, so that's all I got to say that's a lot.

Danilee: 30:23

you said a lot.

Pierre: 30:24

Say a lot. I feel like we're done.

Danilee: 30:25

I think this is a run back. All right, yo listen guys Share this with Go play it again, go listen to it again.

Pierre: 30:29

Share this with somebody Hit like, hit, subscribe, Follow the page. Don't just listen, watch and be selfish to give us a little subscribe. Just do it. You're not hurting nobody If you're finding value in this. Our goal is not to go viral. Our goal is to give value. So we want to encourage you guys. Keep digging. Oh, it looks like you guys I'm gonna do a shout out real quick.

Danilee: 30:50

So, for the women, after we talked about this, this conversation really, really reminded me of a book that I had read a few months ago, and it changed me A lot of the things that I talked about today of trusting my voice, leaning into, knowing that I know the decision, I know what I want, and just valuing my opinion and myself more. It is this book. It's called Understanding the Purpose and Power of a Woman, from Dr Miles Monroe. So, ladies, if you need some of that in your life, to just trust your gut more and the gifts that God has given inside of you, go read this book, y'all.

Pierre: 31:23

Yeah, that's it.

Danilee: 31:24

That's all I'm done.

Pierre: 31:25

Let's continue to dig, Hit us up, DM us, send us a message Like for real. Let's connect, Connect believe me we love y'all, thank you.